Are you a victim of body shaming?

How playing on someone's body image and constantly criticising them for the way they look, and carry themselves, can take a toll on your relationship in the long run Melissa D'costa

Recently an online dating service was in the news for using the photo of a scantily clad obese model (languishing suggestively) to promote its site. The site was in the news for helping to arrange online affairs for married people from USA, UK, Canada and Ireland. The promotional material encouraged men to cheat on their overweight wives and was slammed by the model for body shaming and promoting infidelity. However is there a connection between the two?

We look at how being picked on for the way you look, can weigh down your relationship.

The fat quotient

Sunita Tiwari, a housewife, shares her experiences on how being overweight made her feel inferior and affected her relationship with her husband. She says, "After marriage, I put on a few extra kilos and before I knew it I had all these extra pounds weighing me down. My husband who adored me before marriage, had been avoiding me. I felt like I was losing him and looking at myself in the mirror just made me more depressed. Looking back, I realise that it's important to work on yourself and not take things for granted. While it's okay to want someone to love you for what you are, it's also important to look and feel attractive for yourself."

Body shaming is not only limited to those who are overweight it also extends to include people who are underweight. Rachita Shah, who works in the glamour industry, adds, "I have been blessed with a good face but have had to work at maintaining the way I look. My job demands that I watch my weight. My boyfriend often remarks about me not having enough body mass and how it would make me more feminine. I feel stressed out and I am very conscious about my body image."

Why adultery is not the solution...

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and in an ideal world looks would not really matter. However, we cannot deny that it's one of the things that attracts and holds our interest. So, what do you do, when the person you fell in love changes drastically over the years. Should you use that as an excuse to cheat on them?

"Definitely not," says Dr Kurien S Thomas Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist. He adds, "Adultery is not the solution but playing your cards wisely is. In a relationship looks matter but only to a certain extent. For any relationship to survive understanding, love and patience is vital. In a relationship when one person loses self-confidence due to body shaming it is the duty of the other partner to first instill confidence and make their partner comfortable. Empathise with your partner with your words and actions. Instead of comparing them to someone else, it would be wise to illustrate solutions that could make your partner feel desired. Also, encourage them to express how they feel. Criticising or comparing them to someone else is not going to solve anything and will only create more problems. It would be wise to seek professional help which could play a big role in getting desired results."

Eating disorder : A brief understanding

Eating disorder treatment depends on your particular disorder and your symptoms. It may include psychological counseling (psychotherapy), nutrition education or medications such as antidepressants.

Eating disorder treatment also involves addressing other health problems caused by an eating disorder, which can be serious or even life-threatening if they go untreated for long enough.

If an eating disorder doesn't improve with standard treatment or causes health problems, hospitalization or an inpatient program may be necessary.

Having an organized approach to eating disorder treatment can help you manage symptoms, regain a healthy weight, and maintain your physical and mental health.

Where to start

You may start by seeing your family doctor or mental health counselor such as a psychologist. You may also need to see other health professionals who specialize in eating disorder treatment, such as:

·         Your primary care doctor or other medical doctors involved with your care.

·         A psychiatrist, a medical doctor specializing in medication management, when medications are necessary. Some psychiatrists also provide psychological counseling.

·         A dietitian to provide nutritional counseling when a meal plan is necessary.

It's best if everyone involved in your treatment communicates about your progress so adjustments can be made to your treatment as needed. Involving your partner, parents or other family members is also important.

For young people still living at home, parents will be actively involved in treatment and may supervise meals.

Managing an eating disorder can be a long-term challenge. You may need to continue to see your doctor, psychologist, or other members of your treatment team on a regular basis even if your eating disorder and related health problems are under control.

Setting up a treatment plan

At the beginning of your treatment, you and treatment professionals will come up with goals and guidelines. This will make it clear what to do if you're not able to stick with your plan or if you're having health problems related to your eating disorder.

Your treatment team will consider what your needs are and what resources are available in your area. The cost of treatment programs may be a factor. Hospitalization and outpatient programs for treating eating disorders can be expensive, and insurance may not cover all of the costs of your care. However, don't avoid treatment because of the potential cost. Work with your doctor to identify affordable treatment options.

Psychological counseling for an eating disorder

Psychological counseling (psychotherapy) is generally the most important eating disorder treatment. It involves seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist or other mental health counselor on a regular basis.

Counseling may last from a few months to years. A number of different methods of counseling are used to treat eating disorders. They include:

·         Cognitive behavioral therapy. This type of counseling is a short-term, structured treatment that helps you address the thoughts, feelings and behaviors related to your eating disorder. It can help you learn to recognize and change distorted thoughts that lead to eating disorder behaviors.

·         Interpersonal psychotherapy. Another short-term treatment, interpersonal psychotherapy focuses on resolving relationship issues that contribute to your eating disorder. This type of treatment may be especially helpful if you have depression along with an eating disorder.

·         Family-based therapy. With family-based therapy, family members attend counseling sessions. This type of therapy can be especially useful for parents learning how to help a teen with an eating disorder.

·         Group cognitive behavioral therapy. This type of treatment involves meeting with a psychologist or other mental health provider along with others who are diagnosed with an eating disorder. It can help you address thoughts, feelings and behaviors related to your eating disorder, learn skills to manage eating disorder symptoms, and regain healthy eating patterns.

Treatment may involve a combination of types of counseling. Your psychologist or counselor may ask you to do homework, such as keep a food journal to review in counseling sessions, and identify triggers that cause you to binge, purge or do other unhealthy eating behavior.

Nutrition education

Dietitians and other professionals involved in your treatment can help you better understand your eating disorder and help you develop a plan to maintain healthy eating habits. Goals of nutrition education generally include:

·         Education about how nutrition affects your body

·         Meal planning

·         Establishing regular eating patterns — generally, three meals a day with regular snacks

·         Taking steps to avoid dieting

Nutrition education may involve cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to help you recognize faulty beliefs and thought patterns and understand how your eating disorder causes nutrition issues and physical problems.

Medications for eating disorders

Medications may help you follow your treatment plan. They're most effective when combined with psychological counseling. Antidepressants are the most common medications used to treat eating disorders, but depending on the situation, other medications are sometimes prescribed.

Taking an antidepressant may be especially helpful if you have bulimia nervosa or binge- eating disorder in that it can help reduce symptoms of binge eating and vomiting. Antidepressants can be helpful to reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety or obsessive- compulsive disorder, which frequently occur along with eating disorders.

You may also need to take medications for physical health problems caused by your eating disorder.

Hospitalization for eating disorders

Hospitalization may be necessary if you have serious physical or mental health problems or if you have anorexia and are unable to eat or gain weight. Severe or life-threatening physical health problems that occur with anorexia can be a medical emergency. In many cases, the most important goal of hospitalization is to get back to a healthy weight. Achieving your ideal weight can take months, so you'll probably need to continue outpatient treatment to accomplish your goals once you get out of the hospital.

Hospital day treatment programs

Day treatment programs are structured programs that generally require attendance for three to eight hours a day. Day treatment can include medical care, group, individual and family counseling, structured eating sessions, and nutrition counseling. You may still be able to work or attend school if you're in a day treatment program.

Residential treatment for eating disorders

With residential treatment, you live at an eating disorder treatment facility. A residential treatment program may be necessary if you need long-term care for your eating disorder or you've been in the hospital a number of times but your mental or physical health hasn't improved.

Ongoing treatment for health problems

Eating disorders can cause serious health problems related to inadequate nutrition, overeating, bingeing and other factors. The type of health problems caused by eating disorders depends on the particular type of eating disorder and its severity. In many cases, problems caused by an eating disorder require ongoing treatment and monitoring. Health problems linked to eating disorders can include:

·         Electrolyte imbalances, which can interfere with the functioning of your muscles, heart and nerves

·         Heart problems

·         Digestive problems

·         Nutrient deficiencies

·         Dental cavities and erosion of the surface of your teeth from frequent vomiting (bulimia)

·         Low bone density (osteoporosis) as a result of long-term malnutrition (anorexia)

·         Stunted growth caused by poor nutrition (anorexia)

·         Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder

Taking an active role

You are the most important member of your treatment team. In order for your treatment to be a success, you need to be actively involved in your treatment and informed about your eating disorder, and so do your family members. Your psychiatrist or other members of your treatment team can provide education and tell you where to find information and support. It's a good idea to search for resources on your own as well.

Resources that can help you understand and cope with your eating disorder include:

·         Books and self-help workbooks

Tattoos: Understand risks and precautions

Tattoos may be more common than ever, but don't take tattooing lightly. Know the risks and understand basic safety precautions and aftercare steps.

You could be the proud owner of a new tattoo in a matter of hours — but don't let the ease of getting tattoos stop you from making a thoughtful decision about permanent body art. If you first take steps to protect yourself from possible risks, what seems like a cool idea now is less likely to turn into a source of regret later.

How tattoos are done

A tattoo is a permanent mark or design made on your skin with pigments inserted through pricks into the skin's top layer. Typically, the tattoo artist uses a hand-held machine that acts much like a sewing machine, with one or more needles piercing the skin repeatedly. With every puncture, the needles insert tiny ink droplets. The process — which is done without anesthetics and may last up to several hours for a large tattoo — causes a small amount of bleeding and slight to potentially significant pain.

Know the risks

Tattoos breach the skin, which means that skin infections and other complications are possible. Specific risks include:

·         Allergic reactions. Tattoo dyes — especially red dye — can cause allergic skin reactions, resulting in an itchy rash at the tattoo site. This may occur even years after you get the tattoo.

·         Skin infections. Tattoos can lead to local bacterial infections, characterized by redness, swelling, pain and a pus-like drainage.

·         Other skin problems. Sometimes bumps called granulomas form around tattoo ink — especially red ink. Tattooing can also lead to raised areas caused by an overgrowth of scar tissue (keloids).

·         Bloodborne diseases. If the equipment used to create your tattoo is contaminated with infected blood, you can contract various bloodborne diseases, including hepatitis B, hepatitis C, tetanus and HIV — the virus that causes AIDS.

·         MRI complications. Rarely, tattoos or permanent makeup may cause swelling or burning in the affected areas during magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) exams. In some cases — such as when a person with permanent eyeliner has an MRI of the eye — tattoo pigments may interfere with the quality of the image.

Medication or other treatment may be needed if you develop an allergic reaction, infection or other skin problem. In some cases, the tattoo may need to be removed. Keep in mind that tattoo inks are classified as cosmetics, so they aren't regulated or approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Insist on safety precautions

To make sure your tattoo will be applied safely, answer these questions:

·         Who does the tattooing? Go to a reputable tattooing studio that employs only properly trained employees. Keep in mind that regulation requirements and licensing standards vary from state to state. Check with your city, county or state health department for information on local licensing and regulations.

·         Does the tattoo artist wear gloves? Make sure the tattoo artist washes his or her hands and wears a fresh pair of protective gloves for each procedure.

·         Does the tattoo artist use proper equipment? Make sure the tattoo artist removes a needle and tubes from sealed packages before your procedure begins. Any pigments, trays and containers should be unused as well.

·         Does the tattoo artist sterilize nondisposable equipment? Make sure the tattoo artist uses a heat sterilization machine (autoclave) to sterilize all nondisposable equipment after each customer. Instruments and supplies that can't be sterilized with an autoclave — including drawer handles, tables and sinks — should be disinfected with a commercial disinfectant or bleach solution after each use.

Also ask yourself whether you truly want to invest in permanent body art. Choose the location of the tattoo carefully. Don't get a tattoo if you're under the influence of alcohol or drugs or worry that you might regret the tattoo later.

Take good care of your tattoo

How you care for your new tattoo depends on the type and extent of work done. Typically, however, you'll need to:

·         Remove the bandage after 24 hours. Apply an antibiotic ointment to the tattooed skin while it's healing.

·         Keep the tattooed skin clean. Use plain soap and water and a gentle touch. Pat — don't rub — the area dry.

·         Use moisturizer. Apply a mild moisturizer to the tattooed skin several times a day.

·         Avoid sun exposure. Keep the tattooed area out of the sun for at least a few weeks.

·         Choose clothing carefully. Don't wear anything that would stick to the tattoo.

·         Allow up to 2 weeks for healing. Don't pick at any scabs, which increases the risk of infection and can damage the design and cause scarring.

If you think your tattoo may be infected or you're concerned that your tattoo isn't healing properly, contact your doctor. If you're interested in tattoo removal, ask your dermatologist about laser surgery or other options for tattoo removal.

Remedies for chapped lips

Winter is not the only time when one has chapped lips. Smokers and people who generally have a dry skin, suffer from this problem throughout the year. Here are some home-made remedies for people who have chapped lips.

1. Dehydration is a major reason for chapped lips. So to avoid chapping of lips, try drinking at least 2-3 litres of water everyday.

2. It is important that your diet comprises of green leafy vegetables, carrots, whole grains, tomatoes. This is because all these have Vitamin A in it, and this helps repair damaged skin.

3. Try dabbing a little coconut oil on your lips at regular intervals.

4. Rub a slice of cucumber on your lips. This is quite an effective method for chapped lips.

5. Also applying honey on your lips is a good way to avoid chapped lips. When this dries up, dab a little vaseline over it. After around 15 minute, rub off both the honey and vaseline off your lips using a Q-tip in just two gentle strokes. Do this around twice a day.

6. Aloe vera is known to be a healing agent for damaged skin. Applying aloe vera gel on your lips cures chapped lips.

7. Apply milk cream before getting to bed.

However, if you have a severe condition of chapped lips which bleed and cause inflammation, consult a doctor.

Best sunscreen: Understand sunscreen options

The best sunscreen is one that you'll use generously and according to label directions. Here's help understanding sunscreen ingredients, types of sunscreen and more.

Have conflicting media reports left you confused about the best sunscreen? Or wondering whether you should use sunscreen at all?

Lawrence Gibson, M.D., a dermatologist at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn., says that people are asking tough questions about sunscreens and raising controversial issues about the best sunscreen. He offers the following guidance.

What's the best way to sort through the details on sunscreens?

Start by looking beyond the topic of best sunscreen. Get back to the bigger picture, which is protecting yourself from the sun. Here are three main things to keep in mind:

·         Avoid the sun during peak hours. Generally, this is between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. — regardless of season. These are prime hours for exposure to skin-damaging ultraviolet (UV) radiation from the sun, even on overcast days.

·         Wear protective clothing. This includes pants, shirts with long sleeves, and sunglasses. Top it off with a wide-brimmed hat. In addition, consider investing in special sun-protective clothing for golf, gardening, walking, running — even swimming.

·         Use sunscreen. Liberal use of sunscreen is a key part of any program to protect yourself from the sun.

What does the term 'broad spectrum' mean when applied to sunscreens?

There are two types of UV light that can harm your skin — UVA and UVB. A broad-spectrum, or full-spectrum, sunscreen is designed to protect you from both.

UVA rays can penetrate deeply into your skin and suppress your immune system. This increases the risk of wrinkling and age spots. UVB rays can burn your skin. Too much exposure to both UVA and UVB rays raises your risk of skin tumors, including a form of cancer called squamous cell carcinoma. The best sunscreen offers protection from all UV light.

Does the best sunscreen also have the highest SPF?

SPF stands for sun protection factor. This is a measure of how well the sunscreen deflects UVB rays. Currently, there's no standard for measuring UVA protection.

Manufacturers calculate SPF based on how long it takes to sunburn skin that's been treated with the sunscreen as compared with skin that hasn't been treated with sunscreen. Theoretically, the best sunscreen has the highest SPF number. Many dermatologists recommend using a product with an SPF of 30 or more. However, no one really agrees on a "good" SPF number. A sunscreen with an SPF of 60 might be better than one with an SPF of 30, but not necessarily — and the SPF 60 product isn't likely to be twice as effective as the SPF 30 product.

To understand this, remember how sunscreen is typically used. It might not be applied thoroughly or thickly enough, and it might be perspired away or washed off while swimming. All this can make even the best sunscreen less effective than the SPF number on the bottle would lead you to believe.

Are spray sunscreens better than other types of sunscreen?

You can use sunscreen that comes in any form: spray, lotion, cream, wax stick or powder. Your choice is a matter of personal preference and which area of the body you're covering. If you have dry skin, you might prefer a cream — especially for your face. A gel might work better for areas covered with hair, such as the scalp.

Which sunscreen ingredients are best?

To ensure broad-spectrum protection, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) recommends sunscreens with any of the following ingredients:

·         Avobenzone

·         Cinoxate

·         Ecamsule

·         Menthyl anthranilate

·         Octyl methoxycinnamate

·         Octyl salicylate

·         Oxybenzone

·         Sulisobenzone

You might encounter warnings that sunscreens with oxybenzone can irritate your skin, especially if you're sensitive to skin care products. However, a recent analysis of 64 studies indicates that sunscreens with 1 to 6 percent oxybenzone don't pose a significant risk of skin sensitization or irritation for most people.

In addition to sunscreens based on the chemicals listed above, you can now choose from a number of mineral-based sunscreens — sometimes referred to as "inorganic." Their main ingredients are zinc oxide and titanium dioxide. Neither one of these seems to penetrate the skin, and sunscreens based on these ingredients appear to be safe as well as effective.

Are some brands of sunscreen better than others?

Try several different brands to see which works best for you. Brand matters less than how you use the product. In general, look for water-resistant, broad-spectrum coverage with an appropriate SPF — at least 15. Check the expiration date, and follow the directions on the label.

What about claims that sunscreen is ineffective?

Even the best sunscreen isn't perfect. Many sunscreens especially fall down when it comes to UVA protection. In addition, sunscreen use alone isn't thought to prevent all skin cancers. Yet sunscreens are getting better, and using them is certainly better than using nothing at all.

Is there any truth to the claim that sunscreen use can actually increase the risk of melanoma?

Researchers don't understand why people develop melanoma — a serious form of skin cancer. There are several different types of melanoma, and not all types are equally linked to sun damage. Genetics plays a key role as well. Many factors are involved, which makes it hard to link sunscreen use with skin cancer.

If you have any risk factors for skin cancer — especially a family history of the disease — be sure to consult a dermatologist. Also remember this advice from the AAD: "Check your birthday suit on your birthday." If you notice any changes in your skin, such as growths or bleeding, consult a dermatologist right away. When detected early, most forms of skin cancer are quite treatable.

What else is it important to remember about using sunscreen?

When you use sunscreen:

·         Apply generous amounts of sunscreen to dry skin 30 minutes before you go outdoors.

·         Use sunscreen on all skin surfaces that will be exposed to sun — especially your face, ears, hands, arms and lips. If you don't have much hair on your head, apply sunscreen to the top of your head or wear a hat.

·         Coat your skin well and rub sunscreen in thoroughly.

·         Reapply sunscreen every two hours — more often if you're perspiring.

·         Reapply sunscreen immediately after swimming.

·         Remember that sand, water and snow reflect sunlight and make it even more important to use sunscreen.

·         Since UVA rays penetrate glass and clouds, use sunscreen even when it's cloudy or you're indoors but in rooms with lots of windows.

You can apply sunscreen to children as young as age 6 months. Keep younger children in the shade as much as possible.

What's the bottom line on sunscreen?

Use sunscreen year-round, but don't let any product lull you into a false sense of security about exposure to the sun. A combination of shade, clothing, sunscreen and common sense is your best bet.

Are you sleeping enough?

Lack of sleep can cause numerous health problems.

Adequate sleep is extremely crucial for healthy and normal functioning of your body. Sleep in good quantity and quality is essential for physical, mental and emotional well being. It gives the desired rest and recharges the mind and body. Sleep has important homeostatic functions.

Sleep and heart have a close relation both scientifically and emotionally. The emotional relationship has been exploited in music and songs.

In an adult, the average sleep time is usually seven to eight hours and disturbed sleep is most unwelcome as it can have adverse effects on the functioning of various body systems particularly the heart and the brain.

The 24 x 7 lifestyle has relegated sleep to a secondary level of importance since humans have made a conscious decision to sacrifice sleep for completion of their tasks. The amount of sleep that a person needs to function in a normal manner depends on several factors, including age. Infants sleep most of the day (about 16 hours); teenagers usually need about nine hours a day; and adults need an average of seven to eight hours a day. Although older adults require about as much sleep as younger adults, they usually sleep for shorter periods and spend less time in deep stages of sleep. About 50 per cent of adults over the age of 65 have some type of sleep disorder, although it is not clear whether this is a normal part of aging or a result of other factors, such as medications that are commonly used by older people. In most cases, sleep disorders can be easily managed once they are properly diagnosed. Insomnia is the most common sleep disorder. It occurs more often in women and in the elderly.

Chronic sleep deprivation can have adverse effects on heart, blood pressure and metabolic functions resulting in hypertension, heart attacks, diabetes and stomach-related disorders like indigestion and hyperacidity. Chronic sleep deprivation also causes and/or aggravates snoring which is a prominent symptom of Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA).

OSA is a common sleep disorder. OSA is characterised by repetitive closure of pharynx (a part of upper airway) in sleep causing lowering of oxygen concentrations in sleep. Low oxygen results in rise in blood pressure, rise in heart rate, irregular heart beating and release of stress hormones. The chief complaints in patients of OSA are snoring and daytime sleepiness and tiredness. Increase in body weight also occurs which may be difficult to lose in spite of exercises. OSA can affect both obese and non-obese individuals.

To overcome daytime sleepiness they may consume tobacco, smoke cigarettes or consume excess tea/ coffee, which is again harmful. Patients of OSA are at risk of developing high blood pressure, heart attacks, type 2 diabetes, stroke, obesity and dementia. Management of OSA is highly rewarding since it not only treats the sleep complaint but also the associated disorders are better managed. Oxygen is the basic requirement of body cells and if this is lacking, be in sleep only, needs to be treated. The basic needs of life- Roti, Kapda aur Makaan (food, clothes and shelter), needs to be rewritten as Oxygen, Roti, Kapda aur Makaan.

Bored in your relationship?

The day you first met, your friends saw the sparks flying almost instantly. You, of course, were too blinded by his rugged charm to notice. Then, he asked you out. The first date was a Sunday morning trek alongside a waterfall, followed by a cosy picnic lunch (cheese, wine, baguettes and sweet nothings) and then a night of partying. You'd found your dream match. But it's been a year now, and the very man who made you blush, now makes you yawn. You're utterly bored with the relationship and just don't care. So when do you know when your relationship has lost its fizz? We show you the signs:

You don't meet half as often as you used to. He prefers to work on mysterious files that always need to be submitted 'right away'.

Even when you do meet, there's little to say. You discuss the weather and stop.

You feel you're in a long-distance relationship, even when he's sitting right across the table from you.

When you think of him, there is no warm 'n' fuzzy feeling. Instead, you fantasise about chocolate.

Yes, you do get physically intimate, but there's no more hand-holding or cute pecking on the cheeks.

At the end of a date, you hope he doesn't want to meet the next day too. You'd rather sleep or read a book.

He's meeting his ex-girlfriend (the one you used to hate with a vengeance) for dinner. You either forget that he's meeting her or even if you remember, it doesn't strike you to be the least bit jealous.

When he suggests an outing, you end up roping in all your common friends. What can the two of you possibly talk about alone anyway?

Restless legs? There could be brain malfunction

Researchers have found that people suffering from restless legs syndrome, which causes uncomfortable sensations in the limbs, have reduced function in an area of the brain important for controlling movement.

Preliminary results from a new study at Neuroscience Research Australia (NeuRA) suggest that such people have up to 80 percent less function in this brain region compared to healthy people.

"This is a disorder that is thought to affect one in 20 people, and can severely affect quality of life, but we still don't know very much about it," says Kay Double, associate professor of neuroscience.

"This study is helping us understand what happens in the brain to cause these symptoms, which will help us find better treatments," she says, according to a NeuRA statement.

Restless legs syndrome is a disorder that causes uncomfortable sensations in the limbs.
It often flares up at night and disturbs sleep. It tends to run in families.

The NeuRA study is using ultrasound and magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to look for changes in the structure and function of the brain.

"This is the first time that anyone has looked for these type of changes in people with restless legs syndrome," says Double.

"If we can understand what is happening in the brain, we will be one step closer to helping the thousands with restless legs get a better night's sleep and lead a better quality of life."

Is your jealousy ruining it for you?

Having good friends can be one of the best things in life. Friends accept us just the way we are and we can tell them things about our life that we cannot share with our family.

They are there through our joys and sorrows and offer us support. But sometimes jealousy can creep into the friendship knowingly or unknowingly and can change the whole equation. And it need not be your friend who's jealous, it could be you too!

Jealousy is an emotion that is not restricted only to romantic relationships. When we are friends with someone, almost all the time there is a mutual sharing of feelings and emotional dependency. When the friendship is in the process of being built or when the dependency in the friendship increases, insecurity can develop. For example, we could be jealous of our friend's job or promotion, or jealous of another friend who we think could threaten our friendship.

How to beat it

The first step is admitting that one is jealous. Secondly, one must make a resolve to overcome the jealousy and not let it affect the friendship. Here are some tips.

- Doing a self-analysis is important in order to understand the reasons why one is jealous, from where and why are these feelings of jealousy are coming from?

- Lack of confidence can lead to insecurity about losing the friendship. Speaking about your feelings is a great way to let it out of your system. And for all you know, even your friend may have the same feelings.

- Turn your feelings of jealousy into motivation. If you are jealous that your friend has lost a lot of weight and looks better than you, motivate yourself to lose weight and look better for yourself and not just to compete with him or her.

A jealous friend?

You genuinely like your friend but sometimes you can't help but notice that he or she is jealous of you. Be prepared to deal with nasty comments, possessive behaviour and manipulation but at the same time remember not to be harsh because he or she is your friend after all. Here's some advice to deal with the downside of a jealous friend:

- He/she might be insecure about losing your friendship and thus, is envious of your other friends. Do not give into emotional blackmail.

- Most of the jealousy stems from insecurity. Therefore, compliment your friend on his or her strengths and help them with their weakness. Motivate them to do better in life.

- If your friend's jealous behaviour is steadily increasing to the point that you are distressed, you need to have a straight chat with him or her. Tell him/her how their constant criticism, snide remarks are hurting you. And how you are willing to forgive them because you cherish them but you won't keep quiet for long and want to resolve the situation.

Put your best face forward!

With the wedding season just around the corner, experts tell Zeenia F Baria how you can look your best

It's that time of the year - when you're inundated with invitations for wedding functions, parties and other social engagements. And while you decide what you're going to wear, you also need to take care of your hair, skin and make-up, more so, since the weather has slowly started to change.

Skin care

According to cosmetologist Dr Jamuna Pai, with changes in the weather, increasing pollution and stress levels, your skin is bound to bear the brunt. "Keeping this in mind, your skin care regime should change as per climatic changes. The most common skin problems this time of the year include dry and flaky skin, cracked lips and heels. Treat your skin well by-

Pamper your skin

-Treat chapped lips with a lip balm or petroleum jelly. You could also apply ghee, which locks in moisture. Never lick your lips to wet them, this causes them to dry out even more.

-An oil massage for the body will give your entire body a glow. Use any oil of your preference - olive, coconut or baby oil.

-Mix a moisturiser with your sunscreen and apply it on your face to avoid skin getting dry and flaky.

-Anti-oxidants and Vitamin C taken on a regular basis will help you achieve healthy and glowing skin.

-Drink sufficient water and have juices of deep coloured vegetables. This helps your skin remain fresh.

-Using a sunscreen at least twice a day is a must. Apply it on your face and on all exposed areas of your body.

-Oily skin can benefit from an orange face wash, a gel containing vitamin C, bio sulphur, aloe vera, turmeric, witch hazel and AHA. For dry skin, use a gentle face wash containing vitamin C, milk, soya, sulphur, and aloe vera.

-Use a hydrating herbal mask, (to which you can add cucumber or papaya), a fruit mask, pearl, seaweed or silver mask, to give a glow to your face.

Body care

Dermatologist Dr Bindu Sthalekar says that following a simple skin regimen goes a long way in looking picture perfect. "What you put in your mouth is as important as what you put on your face. Your inner glow will add to your outer glow. Hence, pay attention to both. Drinking enough water, getting adequate sleep, identifying your skin type and using appropraite products, following a skin care routine of cleansing, moisturising, using a sunscreen and exfoliating should be a part of your beauty regimen."

Diet Limit consumption of maida, sugar, colas and oily food to a minimum. These are empty calories, which can cause acne, hormonal imbalances, increase in facial hair and hairfall.

Hands, feet and nail care Use a soapless cleanser for your hands, apply sunscreen, soak your feet in warm water, apply a moisturiser on your feet and nails at night. Avoid using too much nail polish and remover - it results in a yellowish tinge.

You could also opt for treatments in a skin clinic. These include microdermabrasion, chemical peels and hydradermabrasion, which exfoliate skin, improves tone and texture, and reduces pigmentation. Exfoliation of the back is another popular technique, as are chemical peels for dark elbows and knees, cellulite treatment, laser hair removal, etc.

Make-up

This is the time of the year when most social events take place. As a result, some amount of make-up becomes a must. It is important that you take it all off, so as not to end up with breakouts, clogged pores and whiteheads.

-Be gentle while removing make-up around the eyes.

-Take off your make-up or the day's grime with a cleansing milk, which contains milk and honey, and gently exfoliate dry skin with a natural strawberry scrub which contains tiny granules.

Hair care

With the change in weather, you need to pay extra attention to your tresses. Trichologist Dr Apoorva Shah says, "The cold air of winter is more drying and less humid and, therefore more abusive than other times of the year. Since we spend lesser time in the sun, the natural highlights nature paints into our hair become less noticeable and hair loses its healthy shimmering look."

Washing: Hair requires limited amount of washing, enough to cleanse your hair of dirt. Be extra careful so that your natural hair oils are not depleted due to excessive washing.

Moisturise: Apply jaborandi hair oil thrice a week.

Stay hydrated: Ensure a minimum intake of 10 to 12 glasses of water daily.

Conditioning: For healthy hair, a normal conditioner should suffice or for the last rinse, coconut milk can be used. Curly hair tends to be drier than straight hair. Don't rinse out all your conditioner, or re-apply a very light coat after towel-drying. For oily air, apply conditioner to the ends to keep hair healthy and prevent frizziness.

Reduce static: Hair static is caused by a lack of hair moisture. Brush with natural instead of plastic bristles.

Hair do's and don'ts:

-Towel dry your hair

-Never brush it when it is wet. This is a good season to eat healthy hair foods like dates, methi, spinach, walnuts and bajra.

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