Common myths about acidity revealed

Very often, after a heavy meal, we usually pop an antacid to curb that burning sensation in our chest. After a few hours it disappears and we completely forget about it.

But, if these symptoms occur time and again, then you definitely have something to worry about. Commonly called Gastroesophageal Reflux, the condition is characterized by passage of digestive foods and stomach acids up into the esophagus due to a weakened esophageal sphincter. However, there are certain misconceptions and half-truths that act as barriers for the proper cure of this condition. Here they are...

Myth#1: Milk eases acid reflux
Fact: Although, many people recommend milk for soothing the pain of heartburn, the results are actually quite the opposite. It is true that drinking a glass of milk can temporarily ease a troubled stomach by neutralizing the acids. But, the calcium in milk later triggers the production of more stomach acids thereby adding to the original problem. Furthermore, milk is known to be very difficult to digest and to get rid of it, the stomach has to produce extra acids eventually causing more reflux.

Myth#2: Acid reflux medications should be taken for life
Fact: Contrary to what most medicine manufacturers would like you to believe, it is best to steer clear of acid reflux medications as much as possible. This is because the effects of taking such drugs last only for a short while and the symptoms usually return. Moreover, such continuous usage of pills makes a person more prone to developing certain long term side effects. This includes pneumonia and certain bone-related conditions. Hence, try to find some alternative treatment mode with your physician for curing this condition.

Myth#3: Avoid coffee and acidic beverages
Fact: Avoiding the use of caffeine products like coffee or tea should not be imposed on all reflux patients. Although, coffee may trigger the condition in some, there is absolutely no requirement for all patients to stop drinking it. If such products affect your stomach health, then you should surely discontinue their consumption, but if it doesn't, moderation in use should be practiced. Likewise, you should refrain from using acidic beverages like orange juice and alcohol only if they trigger the condition in you. Otherwise, you may continue in moderation.

Myth#4: Avoiding spicy food is a must
Fact: Probably, one of the most common myths associated with acid reflux is that once you are diagnosed with the condition, you have to live your entire life on non-spicy bland food. As with caffeine and acidic products or beverages, moderation in use is the best option. Unless the specific product triggers acid reflux in you, there is no point in giving up and eating a bland limited diet. Instead of giving up on your favorite comfort foods, try to find a balance in your diet habits, avoiding only those that affect your stomach health.

Myth#5: Only people with poor diets have the condition
Fact: Although, the incidence of acid reflux is quite common, researchers are yet to completely understand the mechanism of occurrence. Certain triggering agents may initiate reflux in some people which may not cause the condition in other individuals. You may eat the right foods and lead a healthy lifestyle but still you might end up with acid reflux.

Myth#6: Acid reflux is due to excess stomach acids
Fact: According to specialists, the amount of stomach acids in people suffering from acid reflux is usually normal. It is actually due to the weakening of the esophageal sphincter that this happens. The main role of this sphincter is to prevent the regurgitation or backward flow of the liquids and stomach contents. The sphincter gets weakened due to the prolonged episodes of heartburn making it unable to withstand the pressure of an over-filled stomach. An ideal way to avoid this is to use easily digestible food and that too in moderation.

(Source: Digestive System Disorders)

Slimmer partner leaving you insecure?

Individuals who suddenly resort to weight loss when in a steady relationship are most likely preparing to dump their partners, says a study. Lisa Antao explores the insecurity the other partner feels.

You've been in a steady relationship with your partner for some time now and your partner's extra pounds doesn't seem to have bothered him/her so far. But all of a sudden when your partner starts losing weight or has developed a sudden obsession with the gym or playing sports, that might get you a bit worried. You start developing irrational fears that your new, better revamped partner might secretly be having somebody special in their life other than you or that they might simply dump you!

Well, if you think on those lines, you aren't being paranoid. A new study has revealed that individuals who suddenly resort to losing weight whilst in a steady relationship are most likely preparing to dump their partner! The reasoning behind the inference is that in happy relationships, individuals tend to get fat because there's less pressure to look good. Subsequently, when one is on the lookout for a new partner, he/she is trying to look as attractive as possible. Clinical pyschiatrist and psychotherapist, Varkha Chulani feels the study is too generalised: "There are plenty of reasons that can be attributed to the motives behind someone deciding to look better, fitter, slimmer and it's not just that there is trouble in their marriage".

Television actor Shweta Kawatra, partially agrees to the study. She says, "I find the study absurd but agree to the fact that in some cases people do tend to get fat as a result of getting complacent about one's physical attractiveness while in a steady relationship for example, marriage. However, personally speaking, I'm not the types who would dump my partner just like that. In my case, I workout regularly and eat right not for my husband, but for myself. May be such unfortunate incidents happen to other people."

For those feeling insecure about your revamped, slimmer and better looking partner, couples counsellor Shreya Poddar advises, "If you are feeling insecure you need to work on yourself and not focus on your partner and what he/she is doing! Insecurity is never about the other person, it is always a lack of belief in yourself and an idea that you are not good enough to retain him/her. So, focus on your anxiety producing ideas and work terribly hard to correct them. Then after that if looking better makes you feel better go for it!"

Why men don't cry and women get jealous

Men and women have always been at each other's necks for time immemorial. What is it that makes us so complicated? Why don't men cry? Why do women get jealous? The answers have a psychological side to it..

The male-female war

It's a common question. Why men don't cry? The question goes into the same category of questions like; Why women get jealous? Why men can't commit? Why women can't stop talking? Oh well, we have our differences and it's the psychology one has to delve into to realize some very interesting facts about men and women. In reality, we are very simple people with very complicated emotions. And hence, we've been at each others necks forever.

Men and women have a set of emotions they are "expected" to deliver. Women are weepy, emotional, sentimental and cry all the time. Men are intense, angry, stubborn, possesive and moody. A nagging woman is quite common but a man drowning his sorrows in tears.. a rarity. There is a copious amount of male ego involved here. Psycholgists say that "Emotions live in the background of a man's life and the foreground of a woman's". Food for thought? It has always been said that women are more in touch with their emotions and that actually is true.

However, that does not mean that men aren't capable of expressing. In fact, in a study of married couples, husbands proved to as tuned to their spouse's stress levels and were also capable of offering support. Psychologist, Kiran Nair says that the connection between the left brain and the right is much greater in women. "The left brain holds logic and the right holds all your emotions. Women are capable of shifting between the 2 sides. Men aren't so much," says Kiran. An interesting insight into the never ending battle between men and women, is Khushwant Singh's Women, Sex, Love and Lust.

If you're looking for a debate on love, lust, women and the many nuances of the very same then this is a book you will love reading. Throw in a generous amount of K Singh's humour and wit and you get a book that's worth picking up. Singh skillfully analyzes the fine dividing line between obscenity, pornography and erotica, describing sex from Chaturbhani and his ideas on what the composite Indian woman is. Another book is, Men are from mars and Women are from Venus. The book gives us some insights about the do's and don'ts in a relationship. In general, men and women have their ideas about a relationship quite mixed up. It's not about sacrifice. But rather, it's about understanding. "You never listen to me"... "You never spend time with me" are women's favourite dialogues and "I don't want to talk about it"... "can we change the topic?" are among a men's favourites.

Our best advice, accept them as they are. We all have our quirks, but you don't give up on someone you love. (As mushy as that sounds, its true)

Parent teacher bonding

Considering the amount of time children spend in school, forging a positive bond with the people responsible for him/her, the teachers has attained added importance. Also, these days, one's responsibility as a parent doesn't end at the school gates. An increasing number of schools today insist on parents being hands-on and as much a part of the schooling process as teachers are. Among the biggest benefits of a good parent-teacher bond is that the teacher will be more comfortable opening up to you and telling you about the issues your child may be facing and how you, as a parent, can help.

Here are some tips:
1. Make an appointment and visit, don't just show up:
Yes, teachers are more than open to meeting up with parents but remember, they are have a job to do and a schedule to follow and can't be expected to be available at your disposal. Hence, instead of just dropping in unannounced, it's better to enquire about when the particular teacher you want to meet is free and inform him or her that you would like to visit and have a chat. This way not only will they be able to dedicate enough of time to you without the worry of rushing for a class, they will also be aptly prepared to discuss you child's progress or what hampering it with you precisely and clearly. And remember, be punctual.

2. Take a day out:
Once in a while, it's a good option to dedicate a day to visiting your child's school. Have a chat with the Principle or the school administrator. They are a good source of information on how your child is faring in school with regards to his/her behaviour, participation in extra-curricular activities, any positive or negative changes they may have noticed in your child lately, etc.

3. Don't always rush to your child's defence:
Just as you feel protective of your child, as teachers, they feel equally responsible for those under their care. Hence, don't rush to conclusions or accuse the teacher if he/she tells you something negative about your child. Instead, give them a patient hearing and let them explain their stand. Remember, constructive criticism is good for healthy growth. Consider this, too, as a kind of constructive criticism coming from someone who spends a lot of time with the child and hence, understands him/her just as well as you. Also, work with the teacher to find out the best way to help your child overcome his/her shortcomings.

4. Be a hands on parent:
Read the school news letter. It will keep you updated on all the happenings and what to watch out for. Though most of it will be routine school work, there could just be some important details which your child may have missed out on telling you about. Also, as far as possible, attend Parent Teachers Association or PTA meetings regularly. If you want to keep abreast of how your child is faring in school, this could be one of the best opportunities to do so. If you are really pressed for time and can't attend these meetings, writing to your child's teacher once in a while, enquiring about his/her overall progress, is a good option. This is another good way to help you stay updated on issues relating to your child.

Don't make a toxic apology

The phrase 'forgive and forget' is easily uttered by many, but when it actually comes to doing the deed many of us shy away from it realising that we are incapable of being that generous with someone who has hurt us deeply.

However, giving into guilt or societal expectations we sometimes go ahead and make a half-hearted apology, which does more harm than good. We tell you why you should avoid making toxic apologies.

Half-hearted apologies breed resentment If you make a half-hearted apology and have not truly forgiven the person, you are still likely to hold on to the hurt feelings, which will eventually breed resentment.

Judgment is a slow poison If you let the resentment simmer at the bottom of your heart, at some point you lose all objectivity, you begin to judge the person and may not necessarily be objective about the situation which will only kill the relationship in the long run.

Token apologies set a negative pattern This type of an apology relies a lot on defenses, explanations and excuses, which can become toxic because they wind up creating a form of unexpressed inner permission to offend again. It's a trap that we end up falling in and find it hard to come out of.

It dents your wall of trust No individual is a fool and will either see what your apology really means straight away or will wisen up to it at some point in time, and from then on will not take your words or actions seriously. Thus leading to the fall of the wall of trust that your relationship is based on. Hence, it is better to have an honest chat with the person rather than make a token apology.

You will vent at some point The frustration of keeping up appearances is likely to get to you at some point. You cannot keep your feelings locked up inside for a very long time. Something is bound to trigger an explosion and this may lead to a flare up between you and the individual and a nasty scene could follow.