Can’t get pregnant? Try IVF

Have you and your spouse been trying to conceive for a while? If you have answered yes, but are facing medical complications and do not know  how to get around them, IVF could be your answer. Just like B’town couple Aamir Khan and his wife Kiran Rao, you could try Invitro fertilisation to start a family. Here’s more about the procedure.

According to Dr. Firuza Parikh, Fertility Expert, Jaslok Hospital says, "IVF is not merely a science, it is also a meticulous art. You look into the little details, work with nature instead of trying to outsmart it and always strive towards improving pregnancy rates”.

The beginnings
IVF as an option is swinging it’s way up, ever since the first ‘test tube baby’ ( that’s the colloquial term for IVF babies since the fertilisation takes place in a glass tube), developed by Patrick Steptoe and Robert Edwards, came about. Closer home Dr. Subhash Mukhopadhya, gave India its first test tube baby called Durga and things have never been quite the same. A lot of aggressive marketing of the specifics are giving millions of hopefuls a chance to be ‘mothers’

How is it done?
IVF involves fertilising egg cells with sperms outside of the womb; the fertilised egg is then put back into the women’s uterus and the pregnancy is allowed to go into its full term. Success rates have improved over the last decade (about 50% of women who opt for IVF go home with a baby); treatment options have expanded and facilities have improved.

The downside
It’s invasive, exhausting both physically and mentally. “With all that pain, I wasn’t sure I needed a baby” says a patient. Then there’s the financial bit. IVF is costly. And insurance companies don’t always cover it. Birth defects, multiple pregnancies that reduce the chances of a full term labour and compromise with the health of each baby are the other side of the IVF story.

IVF is not just a medical miracle, there’s more to it. For one, it’s ‘empowering’. It gives you more options. For women who are career-oriented and who don’t want to listen to their biological clocks, IVF allows them to freeze their eggs and use them later. Don’t have a partner, still want to be a mom? No problem. Donor sperms come in handy. IVF has made it possible for women to even choose when to have a baby!

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

Generalized anxiety disorder

It's normal to feel anxious from time to time, especially if your life is stressful. However, severe, ongoing anxiety that interferes with day-to-day activities may be a sign of generalized anxiety disorder.

It's possible to develop generalized anxiety disorder as a child or as an adult. Generalized anxiety disorder has similar symptoms as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and other types of anxiety, but they're all different conditions.

Living with generalized anxiety disorder can be a long-term challenge. In many cases, it occurs along with other anxiety or mood disorders. In most cases, generalized anxiety disorder improves with medications or psychological counseling (psychotherapy). Making lifestyle changes, learning coping skills and using relaxation techniques also can help.

Generalized anxiety disorder symptoms can vary. They can include:

·         Constant worrying or obsession about small or large concerns

·         Restlessness and feeling keyed up or on edge

·         Fatigue

·         Difficulty concentrating or your mind "going blank"

·         Irritability

·         Muscle tension or muscle aches

·         Trembling, feeling twitchy or being easily startled

·         Trouble sleeping

·         Sweating, nausea or diarrhea

·         Shortness of breath or rapid heartbeat

There may be times when your worries don't completely consume you, but you still feel anxious even when there's no apparent reason. For example, you may feel intense worry about your safety or that of your loved ones, or you may have a general sense that something bad is about to happen.

Symptoms in children and adolescents
In addition to the symptoms above, children and adolescents may have excessive worries about:

·         Performance at school or sporting events

·         Being on time (punctuality)

·         Earthquakes, nuclear war or other catastrophic events

A child with the disorder may also:

·         Feel overly anxious to fit in

·         Be a perfectionist

·         Lack confidence

·         Redo tasks because they aren't perfect the first time

·         Strive for approval

·         Require a lot of reassurance about performance

When to see a doctor
Some anxiety is normal, but see your doctor if:

·         You feel like you're worrying too much, and it's interfering with your work, relationships or other parts of your life

·         You feel depressed, have trouble with drinking or drugs, or you have other mental health concerns along with anxiety

·         You have suicidal thoughts or behaviors — seek emergency treatment immediately

Your worries are unlikely to simply go away on their own, and they may actually get worse over time. Try to seek professional help before your anxiety becomes severe — it may be easier to treat early on.

As with many mental health conditions, what causes generalized anxiety disorder isn't fully understood. It may involve naturally occurring brain chemicals (neurotransmitters), such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. It's likely that the condition has several causes that may include genetics, your life experiences and stress.

Some physical health conditions are associated with anxiety. Examples include:

·         Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD)

·         Heart disease

·         Hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism

·         Menopause

Things that may increase your risk of developing generalized anxiety disorder include:

·         Being female. More than twice as many women as men are diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.

·         Childhood trauma. Children who endured abuse or trauma, including witnessing traumatic events, are at higher risk of developing generalized anxiety disorder at some point in life.

·         Illness. Having a chronic health condition or serious illness, such as cancer, can lead to constant worry about the future, your treatment and your finances.

·         Stress. A big event or a number of smaller stressful life situations may trigger excessive anxiety.

·         Personality. People with some personality types are more prone to anxiety disorders than are others. In addition, some personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, also may be linked to generalized anxiety disorder.

·         Genetics. Generalized anxiety disorder may run in families.

·         Substance abuse. Drug or alcohol abuse can worsen generalized anxiety disorder. Caffeine and nicotine also may increase anxiety.

Generalized anxiety disorder does more than just make you worry. It can also lead to, or worsen, other mental and physical health conditions, including:

·         Depression

·         Substance abuse

·         Trouble sleeping (insomnia)

·         Digestive or bowel problems

·         Headaches

·         Teeth grinding (bruxism)

·         Substance use disorders

You may start by seeing your family doctor. However, you may need to see a psychiatrist or psychologist if you have severe anxiety or if you also have another mental health condition, such as depression. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in diagnosing and treating mental health conditions. A psychologist and certain other mental health providers can diagnose mental health conditions and provide counseling (psychotherapy).

Because there's often a lot of ground to cover during an initial appointment, it's a good idea to be well prepared. Here's some information to help you get ready, and know what to expect from your doctor or mental health provider.

What you can do
To be prepared for your visit, it can be helpful to think about a few things ahead of time and write down some notes to take with you. Things to write down include:

·         A list of your symptoms. Include when they occur and whether anything seems to make them better or worse. Also note how much they affect your day-to-day activities, such as work, school or relationships.

·         What's causing you stress. Include any major life changes or stressful events you've dealt with recently. Also write down any traumatic experiences you've had in the past.

·         Any health problems you have. Include both physical conditions and mental health issues.

·         A list of all medications you're taking. Be sure to write down the doses, and include any vitamins or supplements you take.

Your time with your doctor is limited, so preparing a list of questions will help you make the most of your time together. List your questions from most important to least important in case time runs out. Some basic questions to ask your doctor include:

·         What's the most likely cause of my symptoms?

·         Are there other possible situations, psychological issues or physical health problems that could be causing or worsening my anxiety?

·         Do I need medical tests or other tests?

·         Are there any restrictions or steps I need to follow?

·         Should I see a psychiatrist, psychologist or other mental health provider?

·         Would medication help? If so, is there a generic alternative to the medicine you're prescribing?

·         Are there any brochures or other printed material that I can take home with me? What websites do you recommend visiting?

In addition to the questions that you've prepared to ask your doctor, don't hesitate to ask questions during your appointment.

Psychotherapy
Also known as talk therapy and psychological counseling, psychotherapy involves working out underlying life stresses and concerns and making behavior changes. It can be a very effective treatment for anxiety.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most common types of psychotherapy for generalized anxiety disorder. Generally a short-term treatment, cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on teaching you specific skills to identify negative thoughts and behaviors and replace them with positive ones. Even if an undesirable situation doesn't change, you can reduce stress and gain more control over your life by changing the way you respond.

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

Does he change colours like a chameleon?

Six months back you were reclining in your living room with a book in your hand and lip syncing late Jagjit Singh's ghazals.

Today, you're in a room full of rockers who are headbanging on some Iron 'god-knows-what' Maiden's song. Is this the change you've noticed past being in love with that smart man who loves to rocka rolla? Have you lost your identity because of the person you love? Do you not associate with the real you anymore just because of the so-called special person in your life?

Well, we have a term for people who are similar to you in this aspect; a relationship chameleon.

Clinical psychologist and traumatologist Seema Hingoranny says, "This is a relevant issue as a lot of people come to me with a similar concern after their breakup. People end up being quite like their partner while in a relationship, so much so that they forget where their interest lies."

Why a change of colour when in love?
While we'd say, the most likely reasons are insecurity and low self esteem, we ask experts to throw light on the same. Clinical Psychologist Mansi Hassan says, "The notion of love is to give unconditionally. One of the partner starts giving in a lot and tends to become more passive. And yes, it's true, most people fear rejection and are insecure of losing their partners, so they start liking everything their partner likes."

And are women more of a relationship chameleon than men? The experts agree. Hassan says that most women come up with these issues than men do. It's more after a relationship is over that women weep about losing their identity for their man. Hingoranny says, "People give in too much to a relationship not knowing that they're in a dysfunctional one. Also, the relationship becomes such where one acts like a puppet and the other a puppeteer. This ends in the dominating one taking the other for granted. It is important to realise that any relationship is not just about nurturing but about give and take."

So this whole idea of pleasing your partner is abnormal? Hassan says, "When someone falls in love with you, they fall in love with the qualities you possess. But once the other partner acts like a relationship chameleon (so they will be accepted), things change. So the reasons why someone fell in love with you itself, changes. Thus instead of pleasing your partner, you have just allowed him/her to lose interest in you."

Hence a relationship chameleon is at a loss both ways, not only do they lose their partner behaving this way but also lose their identity.

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

 

Top 10 travel tips for couples

No matter how much you are looking forward to spending some quality time with that special someone, traveling together can be a bit stressful; regardless of whether you have been married for decades or are just testing the waters as a couple. So what can you do to ensure a blissful getaway?Hotels.com, the global hotels expert, brings you some surefire ways to keep the fires burning without getting burnt.

Both contribute to the planning: It’s important that you both feel like you have a part in the trip’s success. A site, like hotels.com, is great because you can check out all accommodations from bed & breakfasts to boutique hotels, vacation rentals to spa resorts. Take the virtual tours, read the guest reviews, check out the location relative to the sites you want to see and book it, together.

Work with each other’s strengths: During planning, if one of you is a savvy researcher then perhaps that person can do the destination investigation while the other could be responsible for booking the flights or hotels. Working with each other’s strengths is even more important while traveling. Who’s the control freak (I mean backseat driver) between the two of you? Come on! Admit it?! Maybe you should drive while your partner navigates. Don’t be afraid to play to each other’s strengths versus struggling through a situation.

Pace yourselves: Rome wasn’t built in a day and you can’t see it all in one either. Trust me! I know how fantastic it is to be on vacation sans work and children, but take time for the small moments and some relaxation. Factor in downtime for your vacation as well as extra time while sightseeing.  You never know when you will want to spend some additional time in a museum, on the beach, or sampling the vineyard’s newest harvest. And you’ll appreciate not having the pressure to be on time or the disappointment of missing out on an opportunity.

Communicate: Seems simple enough, right? Are you tired? Are you hungry? Do you want to stay in this town for another day? How quickly we forget that we are not mind readers. Be sure to let your sweetheart know what you’re thinking before it’s too late to do something about it. When traveling, you are out of your normal rhythm and routine so it’s important that you are sharing your needs and desires even if you are used to your honey knowing what those things are.

Take time for yourself: It’s important on vacation to have some time for you, whether to relax or explore.  That’s when the tips above are most useful by working together, communicating and taking the time to really enjoy your trip; you should be able to get some coveted “me time”.  For example, you could check out the local village shops while he takes in a round of golf.

Do not disturb: Our sleep patterns can really wreak havoc with our vacations. Is your sweetie a snorer? Plan ahead and pack those earplugs.  Who’s the morning person? Be kind to your special someone and allow her that precious time to sleep-in by perhaps following the tip above for your “me time” and take a walk around town or read a few chapters of that book you have been wanting to peruse.

Try something new to both of you: If you frequent the same destination then make sure you change it up by finding something new to do each time you go.  Experiencing something for the first time is a great way to bring a couple closer together. So whether the destination is new to you or perhaps it’s that zip-line adventure that you both have always wanted to try, give it a whirl…together.

Budgets and splurges: Let’s face it money is often an issue for most couples.  It is important for a couple to understand their vacation budget, if they have one, before they embark on their trip.  It’s not fair to either person to feel constrained or overly frugal while traveling.  So know before you go! Allow and anticipate for splurges like dinner at that trés romantic restaurant you stumbled upon or a piece of locally created art.

Use the hotel concierge: Here’s what frequent travelers know; the concierge can make things happen. They often have discount tickets to area attractions, know the best restaurants and want to help make your hotel stay special. Tell the concierge if your stay is to celebrate a birthday, anniversary, etc. and see how he/she can help you make it memorable.

You don’t have to go far to get away: A vacation is merely a break for the ordinary.  And sometimes staying in a nearby resort can feel like you are one million miles away. A staycation, or vacation close to home, is often a great way for new couples to test the traveling together waters as well as to have some fun. It’s also a great way for couples with children to have some alone time without the worry that comes with traveling away from your children.

 

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

Are gadgets ruining your relationship?

When you’re in bed with your partner, it’s time to turn off the tech and tune into your relationship. But more often than not you’ll find yourself fidgeting with your cellphone, TV remote, iPod than catching up with your partner at the end of a long and tedious day. Technology has taken over our personal lives more than we can imagine. Unfortunately, the gadgets that were meant to help people connect and bring them together have now become the sole reason for driving them apart.

Imagine a calm evening just meant for your family being suddenly disrupted by innane messages from work colleagues, who have nothing better to do. “What gadgets have done is diminish the boundaries of personal space. You may leave the office physically, but you can be reached anytime by anyone. So you do not actually ever leave your workspace. It’s always on your mind. You may be discussing something very personal with your girlfriend when your phone pings indicating some random friend request.

Technology can be huge relationship killers,” says psychologist Harish Shetty. Often a small tiff may turn into an ugly fight leading to break-ups simply because the conversation between couples is not verbal but through text messages. An extra exclaimation mark may be misinterpreted as anger, sarcasm or a sign of disrespect.  

Couples often bring their work back home. You may well be sitting in front of one another in your living room, or on your bed, but intimacy would be the last thing on your mind. Both of you may be staring at your own laptops thinking about the next day’s work. “Excessive connectivity kills the present moment,” adds Dr Shetty. “And by the time a couple realises the problem, they have already been driven apart. They are happily engrossed in their own virtual world, not realising that the real picture may not be as hunky-dory.

There’s hardly any time to miss people in this age of superconnectivity. Social networking sites often give you the false premise of 24x7 connectivity.  So unless you learn to outsmart your every-day gadgets, it may rule your love lives as well.

A few pointers to avoid them...  

Your tech etiquette tips

Set a limit
Although it may be tempting to stare at a screen even while your partner is trying to talk to you, put that smartphone down. Give yourselves a cut-off time for technology where you both put your gadgets away. It might sound a little difficult but it will really help you connect without distraction.

Made use of positives
Technology does have a positive impact on love. Other than snuggling up together to watch your favourite show, you can also use your gadgets to stay in touch. Forgot to wish your man good luck on his important meeting or a presentation? Send him a cute text. Feeling guilty about last night’s argument? Write an email to him making sure he’s okay with everything that went down.

Judge your partner’s mood
Gauge the situation to know whether your guy is stressed than usual and needs you to listen without sending texts at the same time. So avoid picking up your phone or checking  your
e-mail quickly while your guy is talking to you. Stop what you’re doing and listen; he might be looking forward to your advice. And the same goes for him — make sure you’ve got his attention when you really need it.

10 Most Annoying Restaurant Habits

Eating out can be a great way to relax and enjoy some good food at the end of the day! But then again maybe not! Especially if someone in the group isn't aware of any basic table manners! From shouting at waiters, to making weird eating noises, here are some atrocious restaurant habits that are best nipped in the bud! Take a look and make sure you stay clear of these annoying habits!

Making weird eating noises
No one likes to hear the person across the table chewing every bite! Worse still, trying to talk while their mouth is stuffed! We’re sure that whatever they have to say can wait until they’ve swallowed that mouthful! Also nothing can be tackier than burping after a meal, right?

Getting up to grab food
So the waiters come and place the food on the table. Don’t you hate it when someone swoops halfway across the table to grab the dish first? How desperate! Why can't they just ask someone to pass the dish?!

Talking loudly
We all love a quiet sit-down dinner at our favourite restaurant which is why it can be extremely annoying if the person you are dining with seems to be yelling loud enough for the entire restaurant to hear. Not only is this incredible embarrassing but it can be pretty uncomfortable for the people sitting around you!

Crudely beckoning the waiter
Getting the waiter's attention can be easily done by raising your hand and discreetly beckoning him over! There’s absolutely no need to yell out across the room or call him with a loud “Sshhh” or “Hey You!”

Eating off others' plates
You maybe starving and your friends dish probably looks mouth-watering but that’s no excuse to reach out and help yourself to someone else’s food! In fact, unless someone offers you their food, stay away from their plate!

Not watching your kids
If you’ve brought your kids to a fancy place, it's important to note that they are behaving themselves! After all, you don’t want them running around the restaurant while other people stare at you wondering what kind of parent you are! Get them to sit down and enjoy the meal with you in a civilized manner!

Ordering more than you can afford
Know how much you are willing to spend before you actually order! There’s no point ordering the most expensive meal on the menu only to discover you’ve forgotten your wallet... again! You’ll end up asking your friends to pay for you, and they sure won’t appreciate you for that!

Constantly answering calls
If you’re at an intimate dinner with friends or family, switching off that cell phone would be the best option. No one appreciates a person who keeps shouting into his cell phone throughout the meal! If you wanted to spend your night on the phone, you might as well have stayed at home!

Creating a scene
Always remember a restaurant is a place to relax and enjoy a good meal! So don’t ever make a scene by getting drunk, picking fights with the waiter or fighting with your own family members or friends in front of all the diners! Nothing could be tackier than getting yourself kicked out of the restaurant, that’s for sure.

Refusing to pay the bill
You’ve just had a lovely meal, some pleasant conversation and a great evening. But when it’s time to pay the bill, the foods too spicy, too bland or not the way you wanted it? Or you find a hair in your meal, so you need a discount? Well guys, the restaurant is not the place for you to bargain so don’t bother!

How can you feel sexier as you get older?

Ageing is something you can't avoid, so it's better you embrace and use it to your advantage to feel sexy and young, says an expert.

"The 20s are a time that's idealized. I think it is such a time women are struggling to find their identity and figure out who they are and establish themselves in their careers but the 30s tend to be a real time of security for that very reason because we have a much better sense who have we are and that is sexy," CBS News quoted psychotherapist Jenn Berman, as saying.

"You know, one thing that's important to keep in mind if you don't start out feeling confident and sexy, you fake it until you make it. The behaviours - behaving as if you feel sexy and behaving as if you feel confident - leads women to feel confident," she said.

Jarvis agreed, saying more women in Hollywood - from Diane Keaton to Demi Moore - have been embracing their sexy side. She added, "Do you think our sense of age is changing in this country? Do you think we're taking a new approach to aging?"

Berman also said more women in Hollywood embracing ageing have revolutionized the way we think about aging.

"And it's given the rest of us some hope, even though they have the advantages of plastic surgery and make-up artists and all of that, when we see someone our age or older looking great, it can be really inspiring," she said.

She also said that it is important to keep the spark alive with your partner.

Berman advised, "Make a point to make time for one another, turn off the TV, the BlackBerry ... turn off your computer, have face-to-face time with each other. And take care of yourself, make sure you are eating healthy, listening to your body, exercising and dressing in a way that makes you feel good and also have some sex, even if you don't feel like it. Sometimes, having sex can make you feel sexy and, also, sex begets sex, the more you have, the more you want."

She added communication with your partner is one of the keys to feeling sexy.

"The more communication you have, the more connected and the more intimate you feel, the more confident you're likely to feel, which makes you file more sexy," she said.

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

 

Age-wise facial guide

Here are some things you should know before opting for a facial or a facial routine

The sun, dirt, grime, pollution, stress - they're all taking a toll on your skin. You may not immediately realise it, but over time it shows. Dehydration due to sun causes fine lines and pigmentation. You could also face breakouts and suffer from blackheads. Hence, it's essential to follow a facial routine that's right for you.

Happy 20s
At 20, most men and women are just starting to get rid of teenage acne and working towards clearer skin. A monthly visit to the spa for a clean up can help delay the ageing process. Go for something herbal and light that provides a moisturising treatment to balance the skin. Ingredients like fresh ginger, turmeric, mint leaves along with tangerine, cucumber and honey can help. A fruit moisturiser treatment can also be beneficial and will exfoliate, moisturise and soften the skin. Ensure that you use all organic and natural products.

Trying 30s
This is the age when your skin starts to change. A facial should rebalance the hydration, balance the sebum and moisturise and improve your complexion. Opt for a facial that includes a gentle massage which will relieve tension. An exfoliating substance will help clear out dead skin cells and should be finished off with a hydrating mask.

Essential 40s
Those with mature skin, aged 40 and above, should be careful of what they use. Since Mumbai weather is rather sticky, cleanse your skin thoroughly and then use a light fruit based gel or cream. Steam can be harmful for older skin. Instead, use a face pack of cold milk, cucumber juices, papaya or even mashed banana according to your skin type.

Handy tips
No matter your age, there are certain ingredients that can work wonders. A light skin polishing that uniformly clears dead skin cells is recommended. Try out a de-stressing aloe vera facial massage that removes impurities and rejuvenates the skin. Always go for fresh fruit, rose, marigold and jasmine based masks that add a radiant glow to the skin.