When you’re in bed with your partner, it’s time to turn off the tech and tune into your relationship. But more often than not you’ll find yourself fidgeting with your cellphone, TV remote, iPod than catching up with your partner at the end of a long and tedious day. Technology has taken over our personal lives more than we can imagine. Unfortunately, the gadgets that were meant to help people connect and bring them together have now become the sole reason for driving them apart.
Imagine a calm evening just meant for your family being suddenly disrupted by innane messages from work colleagues, who have nothing better to do. “What gadgets have done is diminish the boundaries of personal space. You may leave the office physically, but you can be reached anytime by anyone. So you do not actually ever leave your workspace. It’s always on your mind. You may be discussing something very personal with your girlfriend when your phone pings indicating some random friend request.
Technology can be huge relationship killers,” says psychologist Harish Shetty. Often a small tiff may turn into an ugly fight leading to break-ups simply because the conversation between couples is not verbal but through text messages. An extra exclaimation mark may be misinterpreted as anger, sarcasm or a sign of disrespect.
Couples often bring their work back home. You may well be sitting in front of one another in your living room, or on your bed, but intimacy would be the last thing on your mind. Both of you may be staring at your own laptops thinking about the next day’s work. “Excessive connectivity kills the present moment,” adds Dr Shetty. “And by the time a couple realises the problem, they have already been driven apart. They are happily engrossed in their own virtual world, not realising that the real picture may not be as hunky-dory.
There’s hardly any time to miss people in this age of superconnectivity. Social networking sites often give you the false premise of 24x7 connectivity. So unless you learn to outsmart your every-day gadgets, it may rule your love lives as well.
A few pointers to avoid them...
Your tech etiquette tips
Set a limit
Although it may be tempting to stare at a screen even while your partner is trying to talk to you, put that smartphone down. Give yourselves a cut-off time for technology where you both put your gadgets away. It might sound a little difficult but it will really help you connect without distraction.
Made use of positives
Technology does have a positive impact on love. Other than snuggling up together to watch your favourite show, you can also use your gadgets to stay in touch. Forgot to wish your man good luck on his important meeting or a presentation? Send him a cute text. Feeling guilty about last night’s argument? Write an email to him making sure he’s okay with everything that went down.
Judge your partner’s mood
Gauge the situation to know whether your guy is stressed than usual and needs you to listen without sending texts at the same time. So avoid picking up your phone or checking your
e-mail quickly while your guy is talking to you. Stop what you’re doing and listen; he might be looking forward to your advice. And the same goes for him — make sure you’ve got his attention when you really need it.
Imagine a calm evening just meant for your family being suddenly disrupted by innane messages from work colleagues, who have nothing better to do. “What gadgets have done is diminish the boundaries of personal space. You may leave the office physically, but you can be reached anytime by anyone. So you do not actually ever leave your workspace. It’s always on your mind. You may be discussing something very personal with your girlfriend when your phone pings indicating some random friend request.
Technology can be huge relationship killers,” says psychologist Harish Shetty. Often a small tiff may turn into an ugly fight leading to break-ups simply because the conversation between couples is not verbal but through text messages. An extra exclaimation mark may be misinterpreted as anger, sarcasm or a sign of disrespect.
Couples often bring their work back home. You may well be sitting in front of one another in your living room, or on your bed, but intimacy would be the last thing on your mind. Both of you may be staring at your own laptops thinking about the next day’s work. “Excessive connectivity kills the present moment,” adds Dr Shetty. “And by the time a couple realises the problem, they have already been driven apart. They are happily engrossed in their own virtual world, not realising that the real picture may not be as hunky-dory.
There’s hardly any time to miss people in this age of superconnectivity. Social networking sites often give you the false premise of 24x7 connectivity. So unless you learn to outsmart your every-day gadgets, it may rule your love lives as well.
A few pointers to avoid them...
Your tech etiquette tips
Set a limit
Although it may be tempting to stare at a screen even while your partner is trying to talk to you, put that smartphone down. Give yourselves a cut-off time for technology where you both put your gadgets away. It might sound a little difficult but it will really help you connect without distraction.
Made use of positives
Technology does have a positive impact on love. Other than snuggling up together to watch your favourite show, you can also use your gadgets to stay in touch. Forgot to wish your man good luck on his important meeting or a presentation? Send him a cute text. Feeling guilty about last night’s argument? Write an email to him making sure he’s okay with everything that went down.
Judge your partner’s mood
Gauge the situation to know whether your guy is stressed than usual and needs you to listen without sending texts at the same time. So avoid picking up your phone or checking your
e-mail quickly while your guy is talking to you. Stop what you’re doing and listen; he might be looking forward to your advice. And the same goes for him — make sure you’ve got his attention when you really need it.
