Love at gene junction!

Anew dating trend could be the modern version of matching birth astro charts before deciding on a life partner.

Termed 'DNA Dating', the practice is being encouraged by a DNA matchmaking website based abroad that may see the end of compatibility tests. All you would have to do is brush a couple of Q-tips across your mouth and send the swabs to a lab along with those of your partner to find out if you are 'made for each other'.

The X and Y of DNA dating
Genetic compatibility is still being researched and while it provides the base for many sci-fi novels, it could very well play a vital role in how we choose our life partner in the future. The idea being expounded is that if your DNA matches with your partner, you are more likely to love their natural body fragrance, which means you would be very satisfied with your sex life, and would have a high probability of producing the healthiest possible children. Commenting on how DNA dating can influence our relationship choices in the future, physician Dr Altaf Patel says, "DNA matches are the most sensible way to mate. It's an arranged marriage of a different sort to get the best progeny. Animals, particularly lions, are attracted to each other with the best DNA match. There is some conjecture that this happens in humans as well."

Would you try it?
Actress Shazahn Padamsee feels the concept is interesting, but it's something she would not want to opt for personally. She says, "It's a great idea but personally I would first prefer to get to know the person rather than his DNA. I want to be with someone who makes me happy. When getting into a relationship that would be my primary goal, to find someone who keeps me happy. Compatibility and everything else would come second."

Genetic testing does not guarantee emotional chemistry. Designer Elisha W says, "Love for me cannot be so biological or chemical, that I have to get a lab test done to find if my soulmate is compatible. I would try a more spiritual test rather than a genetic one to find out if he's my soulmate. It isn't just about gene compatibility, but a meeting of two hearts. I'd keep it that way." Ashish Pandey, another designer, agrees and adds, "Genetic compatibility is one thing, but what if there's no emotional involvement or romance. I don't think the relationship would last very long. Even if the genetic test shows brilliant results, and we can produce great children, what if there's no emotional or sexual chemistry? That would spell disaster for the relationship."

Astro charts v/s DNA dating
Varkha Chulani, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, says, "If only the maintenance of relationships was in our genes! Good long-term relating depends on many factors, apart from natural body fragrance or having small differences in 'alleles'. Temperamental compatibility, ideological similarities, goals of life, value and philosophical outlook, these and many more augur well for good healthy relationships. Even in the case of single people, taking only DNA into consideration may well spell doom."

She adds, "It's unlikely to work in India because we don't 'think' too much when we make life partnership choices. The concept of parents deciding for us still exists. As a community we are not scientific in our approach and would rather bank on the horoscopes and stars, rather than on scientific data. To break mindsets from mumbo jumbo to science will take some doing. Plus, costs involved may also dissuade a person from considering this option, plus the belief that marriages are made in heaven, so why tamper with them on earth?"

Dr Kurien S Thomas, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and wellness therapist, adds, "To the crowd that needs proof for everything, this test can prove effective for showing your compatibility quotient on paper. Otherwise, your own heart and mind will tell you when you meet your soulmate. Love can be only felt and not seen in a test with pass/fail results. Sex is not just for procreation, but also for intimacy between couples. If you are with your soulmate, you will not only enjoy the physical expression of true love, but benefit psychologically too."

Pros and cons of opting for DNA dating
It minimises the error in making choices and narrows selection. Thus, you have only a handful of people to choose from, reducing the risk of going wrong. It's a probabilistic measure and not a foolproof indicator. Banking only on these indicators may spell trouble. And then genes don't consider factors like incompatible areas, growing apart as many individuals do in longterm relating, etc. Costs may be a factor, too. It may make the choice too clinical and may not work for all. It kills romance and the excitement of adventure and thrill that comes along with falling in love. Every person is not so 'practical' and it may not go down well with the romantics.

Anti-Aging Treatment with Vinotherapy or Wine Facials

Gold facials, diamond facials, collagen treatment and the lot, are old news. In vogue today are the different concoctions of wine facials for the elite. Wine facials are the next big thing in skin care and a wonderful anti-aging therapy. Lately the whole range of wine - red, white, grape, apple and elderberry - is being used in some form of treatment or facial therapy. Red wine, which was predominantly used to raise a toast to health and wellness, is being used to revive the glow in aging skin. The merlot wine has caught the imagination of the ever-growing upper middle class as a potent therapeutic these days. Although the home-made beauty treatments of yore - the multani mitti or grandmother’s secret fruit facials - might still manage to charm one, it is the pricey wine facial which is hogging the spotlight at the moment.

The virtues of wine facial are improved blood circulation and reduced wrinkles. It is one of the best ways to revitalize skin. Although priced relatively high compared to its counterparts the vinic treatment is justified in visible results. The wine may be used in conjunction with Ayurvedic cream or regular cream depending on one’s skin type. The glow from a wine facial is incomparable and because they have a purely herbal base, they are useful in curing infections. Regular sessions over a period of a few weeks result in a clear, blemish free skin. Its antioxidant properties and grape seed polyphenols coax collagen production back in your sagging skin. The benefits of consuming wine are not hidden. Moderate wine consumption is associated with: reduced cardiovascular health risks, for example, resveratrol in grape skin is known to have cardio protective effects; chemo protective effects; decrease in the risk of lung cancer; and decrease in the risk for Alzheimer''s disease. The therapeutic effects of wine in vinic facials just add to the long list of its benefits. Wine has been a favorite drink throughout history, be it as a ceremonial drink, an ode to camaraderie, and offering to God, an accompaniment to delectable cuisine or the cup of winebibbers. Lately it is big in the beauty business as well. A plethora of wine-based facial products are being promoted these days in order for clients to regain their youthful look. Wine-based products have taken anti-aging treatment to a whole new level. Besides the traditional red wine, wines concocted locally from fruits and herbs like fennel seeds, cardamom, apples and apricots are also used as innovative and alternative wine facial treatment. But the question remains if the wine therapy is suited for all skin types. Not all treatments are suited for every skin type. But ingenuity and innovation are the key words in the business. Wine is especially good for oily and acne prone skin as it reduces chances of acne formation. The therapeutic quality of wine relaxes the skin muscles. Almond may be added to the concoction for dry skin and aloe for oily and acne prone skin. Grape wine is a preferred wine, because it is an excellent anti-oxidant. Wine therapy is also being used in spas in conjunction with ayurvedic therapies to soothe frayed nerves and relax the stressed tissues as a passive form of exercise. The procedure helps in the production of anti-bodies, soothes the nervous system, improves circulation and builds up the immune system. A gamut of vinotherapy offerings will leave you perplexed on what to choose! For example, the combination of wine facial and ayurveda indulges the body and awakens one’s mind and senses. This east-meets-west treatment is formulated with a rich blend of wine and exotic herbs that moisturize the skin and rejuvenate ones senses. This is the ultimate in vinotherapy. The seeds, skin and leaves of grape contain polyphenols and procyanidols which exert antioxidants, so here is what you can consider for yourself in the salon or spa: A wine bath for entire body and muscle relaxation. A full body exfoliant, done with crushed pips for shine. But remember, this spa treatment is for those with deep pockets or for special occasions. A wine facial done with flower essences and a mix of mud massaged with grape oil and exfoliants. In conclusion - A healthy skin program includes cleansing, toning and nourishing. The skin suffers if it is not cared for. The human skin breathes, inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide. It needs to absorb sufficient vitamins, minerals and enzymes in order to facilitate breathing. Wine acts as a catalyst that promotes this breathing process. The most beautiful women throughout history have relied on jealously guarded beauty therapies. Some of the most exciting beauty formulas derive their success from wine. Wine is the most common ingredient in natural beauty recipes. It is rich in vitamins and minerals and interacts with specific natural ingredients to help cleanse and beautify the skin, hair and body. If your favorite salon has added a vinic facial to their list, you should definitely indulge in it to benefit from the secret to a youthful skin.

Secrets of longevity

Protect Your DNA

As we age, the ends of our chromosomes -- called telomeres -- become shorter. This makes people more vulnerable to disease. You might think there's nothing you can do, but new research suggests otherwise. In a pilot study, lifestyle changes boosted an enzyme that increases telomere length. Other studies also find diet and exercise can protect telomeres. So healthy habits may slow aging at the cellular level.

Be Conscientious

An 80-year study found one of the best predictors of a long life is a conscientious personality. Researchers measured attributes like attention to detail and persistence. They found that conscientious people do more things to protect their health and make choices that lead to stronger relationships and better careers.

Make Friends

Science has given you one more reason to be grateful for your friends – they might help you live longer. Australian researchers found elderly social butterflies were less likely to die over a 10-year period compared to people with the fewest friends. Another analysis of results from 148 studies supports the link between plentiful social connections and longevity.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Your friends’ habits rub off on you, so look for companions with healthy lifestyles. Studies indicate obesity is socially “contagious" –  your chance of becoming obese increases by 57% if you have a friend who becomes obese. Smoking is another habit that spreads through social ties, but the good news is that quitting is also contagious.

Quit Smoking

While it's no secret that giving up cigarettes can lengthen your days -- the amount of extra time may surprise you. According to a 50-year British study, quitting at age 30 could increase your lifespan by an entire decade. Kicking the habit at age 40, 50, or 60 boosts life expectancy by 9, 6, or 3 years, respectively. 

Embrace the Siesta

A siesta is standard in many parts of the world, and now there's scientific evidence that napping may help you live longer. A recent study with 24,000 participants suggests that regular nappers are 37% less likely to die from heart disease than occasional nappers. Researchers think naps might help your heart by keeping stress hormones down.

Follow a Mediterranean Diet

The Mediterranean diet is high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, olive oil, and fish. An analysis of 50 studies involving more than half a million people shows the impressive benefits of this diet. The findings show it significantly lowers the risk of metabolic syndrome – a combination of obesity, elevated blood sugar, increased blood pressure, and other factors that raise your risk of heart disease and diabetes.

Eat Like an Okinawan

The people of Okinawa, Japan once had the longest life expectancy in the world. Researchers attribute this to the region's traditional diet, which is high in green and yellow vegetables and low in calories. Some Okinawans make a habit of eating only 80% of the food on their plate. As younger generations have veered from these traditions, life expectancy in Okinawa has fallen.

Get Married

Several studies show that married people tend to outlive their single counterparts. Many researchers attribute the difference to the social and economic support marriage provides. While a current marriage offers the greatest benefit, people who are divorced or widowed have lower mortality rates than those who have never been married.

Lose Weight

If you're overweight, slimming down can protect against diabetes, heart disease, and other life-shortening conditions. Belly fat appears to be particularly harmful, so focus on deflating that spare tire. A 5-year study of Hispanics and African-Americans suggests eating more fiber and exercising regularly are effective ways to reduce belly fat.

Keep Moving

The evidence is overwhelming – people who exercise live longer on average than those who don't. According to dozens of studies, regular physical activity reduces the risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, some forms of cancer, and depression. Exercise may even help you stay mentally sharp in your old age. Ten-minute spurts of activity are fine, as long as they add up to about 2.5 hours of moderate exercise per week.

Get Spiritual

Research suggests people who attend religious services tend to live longer than people who never attend. In a 12-year study of people over age 65, those who attended services more than once a week had higher levels of a key immune system protein than their peers who attended no services. They were also significantly less likely to die during the study period. The strong social network that develops among people who worship together may contribute to their overall health.

Forgive

Letting go of grudges has surprising physical health benefits. Chronic anger is linked to decreased lung function, heart disease, stroke, and other ailments. Forgiveness will reduce anxiety, lower your blood pressure, and help you to breathe more easily. These benefits tend to increase as you get older.

Use Safety Gear

Accidents are the fifth most common cause of death in the U.S., and the top cause of death for people ages 1 to 24. Wearing safety gear is a simple way to boost your odds of a long life. In the event of a motor vehicle crash, seatbelts reduce the risk of death or serious injury by 50%. In bike accidents, most deaths are caused by head injuries, so always wear your helmet.

Make Sleep a Priority

Getting enough good quality sleep can lower the risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and mood disorders. Sufficient sleep will also help you recover from illness faster. Burning the midnight oil, on the other hand, carries serious health risks. Sleeping less than 5 hours per night boosts the risk of premature death, so make sleep a priority.

Manage Stress

Dean Ornish, MD, has published research suggesting that lifestyle changes including stress management not only help prevent heart disease, but may actually reverse it. Although avoiding stress is not a viable option for most people, there are effective ways to control it. Try yoga, meditation, or deep breathing. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference.

Maintain a Sense of Purpose

Finding hobbies and activities that have meaning for you may contribute to a long life. Japanese researchers found men with a strong sense of purpose were less likely to die from stroke, heart disease, or other causes over a 13-year period compared to those with a low sense of purpose. Another study at Rush University Medical Center indicates that having a greater sense of purpose is linked to a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

What Is Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?

The carpal tunnel is a narrow passageway on the palm side of your wrist made up of bones and ligaments. The median nerve, which controls sensation and movement in the thumb and first three fingers, runs through this passageway along with tendons to the fingers and thumb. When it's pinched or compressed, the result is numbness, tingling, weakness, or pain in the hand, called carpal tunnel syndrome.

Symptoms: Pain and Tingling

Carpal tunnel develops slowly. At first, you're most likely to notice it at night or when you first wake up in the morning. The feeling is similar to the "pins-and-needles" sensation you get when your hand falls asleep. During the day, you may notice pain or tingling when holding things, like a phone or a book, or when driving. Shaking or moving your fingers usually helps.

Symptoms: Weakness

As carpal tunnel syndrome progresses, you may begin to notice weakness in your thumb and first two fingers, and it may be difficult to make a fist or grasp objects. You may find yourself dropping things, or you may have trouble doing things like holding a utensil or buttoning your shirt.

Symptoms: Sensation Problems

Carpal tunnel syndrome can also cause a feeling of numbness in the hands. Some people feel like their fingers are swollen, even though no swelling is present, or they may have trouble distinguishing between hot and cold.

What Causes Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?

There usually isn't one definitive cause of carpal tunnel syndrome. Because the carpal tunnel is narrow and rigid, anytime there is swelling or inflammation in the area, the median nerve can be compressed and cause pain. Symptoms may be present in one or both hands (usually symptoms develop in the dominant hand first).

Who Gets Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?

Women are three times more likely than men to get carpal tunnel syndrome. Certain conditions can also increase your risk. These include:

•           Diabetes, gout, hypothyroidism, and rheumatoid arthritis

•           Pregnancy

•           Sprain or fracture of the wrist

•           Could Your Job Be to Blame?

•           It's a common belief that frequent typing can lead to carpal tunnel syndrome. But it's actually three times more common among assembly line workers than it is among data-entry personnel -- and frequent use of vibrating hand tools increases the risk. In contrast, a 2001 study found that even heavy computer use -- up to seven hours a day -- did not make people more likely to develop carpal tunnel syndrome.

What Happens Without Treatment?

•           At first, symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome come and go, but as the condition worsens, symptoms may become constant. Pain may radiate up the arm all the way to the shoulder. Over time, if untreated, carpal tunnel syndrome can cause the muscles on the thumb side of your hand to waste away (atrophy). Even with treatment, strength and sensation may never be completely restored

Carpal Tunnel or Something Else?

A few conditions have symptoms that can mimic carpal tunnel syndrome. These include:

•           Injury to a muscle, ligament, or tendon

•           Arthritis of the thumb or wrist

•           Nerve problems such as diabetic neuropathy

Your doctor will do tests to rule out other health conditions. 

Diagnosing Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

There are several tests your doctor will perform to see if you have carpal tunnel syndrome. The Tinel test involves tapping  on the median nerve to see if it causes tingling in the fingers. In the Phalen test, the doctor will have you press the backs of your hands together for a minute to see if this causes numbness or tingling.

Electrodiagnostic Tests

To confirm the diagnosis, your doctor will order a nerve conduction study. In this test, electrodes are placed on the hands and wrists, and small electric shocks are applied to measure how quickly the median nerve transmits impulses. Another test, called electromyography, uses a fine needle inserted into a muscle to measure electrical activity and assess damage to the median nerve.

Treatment: Rest and Immobilization

Underlying causes such as diabetes or arthritis will need treatment. Then your doctor may advise resting the hand and wrist and wearing a brace to limit movement. Night use is important to prevent the wrist from curling during sleep, which can make your symptoms flare up. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen and naproxen, along with cold compresses, can reduce pain.

Medications for Carpal Tunnel

When carpal tunnel symptoms are more severe, your doctor may recommend corticosteroids by injection or by mouth. Steroids can temporarily reduce inflammation around the median nerve and ease your symptoms. Injection of a local anesthetic such as lidocaine can also relieve symptoms. Other things that may help include diuretics, also known as “water pills,” which reduce swelling, and vitamin B6 supplements

Do you know your skin type?

Do you know your skin type?

Understanding your skin type is crucial. Find out what your actual skin type is and how to get your face to look its best...

Most of us get quite confused when we walk into a store and find the shelves stocked with different brands and types of cosmetics. On the surface, categorising our skin type gets rather difficult and incorrectly assume that we have a combination skin and that results in unsuccessfully battling the same pesky skin troubles.

Finding your skin type
Oily: If you are at constant war with heavy flow of sebum on your face, you have an oily skin. Another giveaway is the grease residue that builds on the skin's surface during the day and easily transfers to anything pressed against the face.

Dry: If your skin feels taut, then you have a dry skin. To understand your skin type better, do not apply a moisturiser for an entire day and if your skin feels tight and parched then you have a dry skin.

Sensitive: Sensitive skin is prone to redness and flushes. The higher histamine level in the body makes the skin sensitive and more susceptible to inflammatory conditions like psoriasis, Rosacea, and eczema.

Acne prone: Due to genetics, larger pore size or over reactive skin, it becomes acne prone and break-outs are more common. Age determines whether acne is bacterial, hormonal or hereditary and depending on the severity, consistent tropical care can clear the skin. For stubborn reasons, it is best to visit a dermatologist.

Dull/Ageing skin: Depending on age and environmental factors, the skin starts ageing. Sun exposure and stress levels are the common factors. Pigmentation, dull grayish tone, blotching, fine lines and wrinkles, and sagging that comes with less collagen are some of the common signs of ageing skin.

With the vast amount of brands available in the market, it is very important to determine which product is made for your skin type. Read the ingredients at the back of the product carefully to choose the right one for your skin type.

Raising Confident Daughters in a Changing World

Parents naturally want the best for their daughters: good friends, the wisdom to make good decisions, and strength to weather life’s storms. But much of the news about girls these days isn’t good. As teen years approach, many confident girls turn into sullen shells. Self-esteem plummets. Friends turn on each other. And the mysteries of social networking make everything scarier. What’s a parent to do?

This article provides perspective and advice to help parents raise confident daughters ready to thrive in today’s world.

Get to Know the Confidence Busters

For starters, parents can take time to understand what their daughters are going through. “One of the overriding messages for girls is that if they’re confident, they’re conceited,” says Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, director of the Eating Disorders Education and Prevention, McLean Hospital; clinical instructor, Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School. “Girls need to know that claiming their strengths doesn’t mean they’re stuck up,” she says.

Steiner-Adair sees girls’ confidence wane as they move from childhood into adolescence. When she asks girls what they want to be, fourth-grade girls cite careers such as a veterinarian or surgeon. By middle school, girls’ looks enter the picture. “Middle-school girls tell me, ‘I can’t be a surgeon, I don’t look the part,’” Steiner-Adair tells WebMD. “By 10^th grade, girls focus almost exclusively on looks. They tell me, ‘I want to be a size 2.’”

Show Concern -- Just Not Too Much

It’s a distressing picture, yet overly concerned parents can be as much harm as good. “Parents who believe low confidence is inevitable set their daughters up to expect less of themselves,” says Richard Lerner, PhD, the Bergstrom Chair and director of the Institute for Applied Research in Youth Development at Tufts University.

For many girls, puberty and the transition from elementary to middle school hit about the same time. “Just when they’re changing schools, changing peer groups, and facing higher academic demands, their bodies start changing too,” says Lerner. The result is a tremendous amount of stress all at once.  

Parents, especially moms, can help girls put the stress of this period in perspective by sharing their own stories and how they got through confusing or difficult times. When girls know that they’re not the first or only ones to struggle, and that things do get better, they often start to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Praise the Process

Well-intended efforts to boost your daughter’s self esteem can backfire, depending on what you say. Focusing praise on your daughter’s looks rather than her activities can reinforce the message that her appearance matters more than things she does.

Surprisingly, research shows that praising intelligence can also undermine a child’s confidence.  In one recent study, two groups of fifth graders received two different kinds of praise after taking an IQ test. Kids in one group were told, “Wow, that’s a good score. You must be really smart at this.” Kids in the other group were told, “Wow, that’s a good score. You must have worked really hard.”

Kids in both groups then had the opportunity to try a challenging task, with the promise they could learn from it. The kids in the “smart” group weren’t interested. The kids praised for their effort took it on. Not only that, the kids in the second group performed better over time, outpacing their “smart” peers on follow-up IQ tests. It appears that seeing intelligence as a fixed trait instills fear of failure that makes kids less able to handle setbacks.

Support Your Daughter Through the Tough Times

Your teen daughter may act like she doesn’t need you, but the opposite is true. Numerous studies show that parents’ structure, advice, and guidance play a pivotal role in teens’ sense of wellbeing and resilience.

Kathi Bacon watched her older daughter go through a surprisingly difficult time when she won the race for class president in her junior year. Rather than congratulate her, other kids stopped talking to her. “It was like her friends thought she didn’t need them anymore,” says Bacon. As a mother, Bacon supported her daughter as best she could. “It was hard on her. I saw her suffer deeply.”

Though the situation at school was unexpected and hurtful, Bacon’s daughter ran for class president again -- and won again -- the following year.

Foster Confidence-Building Communication

As your daughter gets older, she’ll likely encounter pressures she’s never faced before. “Parents usually want to step in when they see their daughter struggle,” says JoAnn Deak, PhD, a psychologist and author of Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Competent and Courageous Daughters.

But as your daughter gets older, intervening is often not possible or even healthy. Many of the girls Deak works with tell her, “Sometimes I just need to talk things through. My mom wants to fix everything.” Instead, Deak tells WebMD, parents should let their daughters know they can listen without lecturing or intervening.

Granted your hair may stand on end. What if your daughter tells you that someone has posted suggestive photos of her online, for instance?

“If she brings it up, she wants to talk with you about it,” says Deak. Instead of lecturing or getting upset, Deak suggests parents create room for conversation by asking non-judgmental questions, such as “tell me what happened.” This doesn’t mean taking a passive role. If your daughter is putting herself as risk, it’s time for you to step in as a parent. “Just do so in a way that lets her know she can always talk to you,” says Deak.

Keep Online Activities on Your Radar

Social networks like Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter can increase the divide between parents and kids. You may feel out of your element talking about it, but a large number of social interactions take place between teenagers online -- and the interactions are highly public.

The good news is, many teens are savvy about protecting their personal information online, more so than adults. Seventy-seven percent (77%) of teens restrict access to their online photos sometimes or most of the time, compared to only 58% of adults. Encourage this behavior in your daughter. You may even ask her to review your online presence and make sure you’re protecting your own privacy.

Still, the Internet raises the stakes for many kids. Conversations that used to take place in person or over the phone are now online for everyone to see. Keep the channels of communication open about online activities so your daughter knows she can come to you if things get too intense. If you suspect bullying behavior, ask your daughter to let you look at her site. You can contact the Web site administrator and report behavior you consider dangerous.

Share Your Daughter’s Passion

Every expert who talked with WebMD about raising confident daughters agreed that parents can make a profound connection with their daughters by paying attention to their interests. “Showing interest in your daughter’s passions sends the message that what she likes matters,” says Steiner-Adair.

Listen for the things that light your daughter up and let her be the expert in these areas. When she talks about things that matter to her, ask her to tell you more. You might learn something new.

Be In It for the Long Haul

Raising confident daughters is long-term process. Some days you may feel you’re doing great, other days you may feel adrift at sea. If so, you’re not alone. “The goal is to raise daughters who can handle whatever situation comes at them,” says Deak. “If there were a set recipe for this, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

6 Marriage Mistakes for Men

Men, we don’t mean to nag, but you may be making mistakes that risk ruining your marriage. In fact, if you are a typical man, you are likely making several, and making them often.

Don’t believe us? Ask your wife. Now, before you get all defensive, this isn't about blame. These aren't ridiculous relationship mistakes -- they're the subtle things that you might not even know you're doing. And changing these habits could make a big difference to your wife -- and that can only be good for you.

Recognizing these mistakes and making efforts to correct them will not only help your marriage, it may also help your health -- and that of your spouse.

Over time, negative feelings in a relationship that aren't addressed can lead to physical and psychological problems, says Silver Spring, Md.-based psychologist Gloria Vanderhorst, PhD.

“Stress develops in the relationship for each partner, though for different reasons,” she says. “Typically by the time that a couple comes into treatment this stress has triggered anxiety or depression in one or both of them.”

Below are several common mistakes that men make with their wives, how to recognize them, and – most important – what you can do to correct them.

1. Not showing empathy.

Empathy is the most important part of any relationship, says psychologist Albert Maslow, PhD. It’s the ability to recognize and share someone else’s feelings. And it’s something that, in general, women are better at than men. “Women want their feelings to be understood and validated,” says Maslow, who has a private practice in Crozet, Va. “Men have to discover this.”

Rather than simply listening, though, men tend to go into fix-it mode. That’s a mistake.

“If your wife tells you she feels ignored, for example, at that moment what she wants is for you to understand her feelings rather than talk about the facts,” Maslow says.

2. Reckless spending.

Making big purchases such as buying a car without first consulting your wife is a huge no-no, Vanderhorst says. In fact, she ranks it second only to infidelity when it comes to marriage-busting mistakes. And, she says, “Men tend to do it a lot.”

Why? Consciously or unconsciously, men frequently assign themselves the leadership role in the relationship. That, too, is a mistake, Vanderhorst says. “A couple’s relationship is a shared leadership position,” she says.

3. Being sexually selfish -- or clueless.

In the bedroom, men forget – or, worse, haven’t figured out – that their wives often need more than they do to get turned on, Maslow says.

“Affection, making her feel loved and needed -- that’s basic for her to feel aroused,” Maslow says. “Older men usually catch on, but young men are especially unaware of this.”

Vanderhorst says turning a woman on begins well before the lights go down. “Men perceive sex as a sufficient means of being close, of having a connection,” she says. “But women want a connection prior to having sex.”

4. Listening the wrong way.

Listening does not mean nodding along as your wife explains what is bothering her, all the while thinking up ways to fix the problem. “Men tend to analyze situations and generate options,” Vanderhorst says. “That’s guaranteed to make your wife go ballistic.”

What she most often wants is to talk things out, and she wants you to be actively engaged in the conversation, not by trying to be the hero and save the day, but by demonstrating an interest in what she is saying and caring about what she is experiencing emotionally, Vanderhorst says.

“This is not passive,” she says. “Listening to establish a connection is an active process.”

5. Shelving your feelings.

Listening to your wife talk about her feelings is essential. So is talking about your own.

Many men, however, think they need to hide their feelings or risk being seen as weak. That’s a mistake.

Not sharing your emotions can be a real downer for your wife, Maslow says. “The woman feels like she’s missing a close connection that she wants with her husband. When he’s withdrawn, she feels like he is leaving her.”

Maslow acknowledges that getting men to open up can be difficult, but he also says it shows strength. “Growing up, a man learns that he can’t let others know when he’s scared. But opening up is taking a risk, and that takes courage.”

6. Going on a power trip.

Being a man does not mean being in charge – many men don’t get that. “That’s one of the mistakes men often make,” Maslow says. “They try to get what they want by being dominant. But it’s not about making demands or trying to overpower her. Women will pull away from that.”

Vanderhorst agrees. She says that the “power position” that men often put themselves in essentially negates the relationship, which must be reciprocal, supportive, and caring. “Our best selves emerge in the context of our relationships with others and not as an independent entity,” she says.

Anger,Hostility,and Violent Behavior

Anger signals your body to prepare for a fight. This reaction is commonly classified as "fight or flight." When you get angry, adrenaline and other hormones are released into the bloodstream, then your blood pressure goes up, your heart beats faster, and you breathe faster.

Many people mistakenly believe that anger is always a bad emotion and that expressing anger is not okay. In reality, anger can be a normal response to everyday events. It is the right response to any situation that is a real threat. Anger can be a positive driving force behind our actions. Anger can also be a symptom of something else, depending on how often a person feels angry and how angry the person feels.

Hostility is being ready for a fight all the time. Hostile people are often stubborn, impatient, hotheaded, or have an "attitude." They are frequently in fights or may say they feel like hitting something or someone. Hostility isolates you from other people.

Anger and constant hostility keep your blood pressure high and increase your chances of having another health problem, such as depression, heart attack, or a stroke.

Teens who say they often feel angry and hostile also more often feel anxious, stressed, sad, and fatigued. They have more problems with alcohol and drug abuse, smoking, and eating disorders than teens who do not have high levels of anger.

Violent behavior often begins with verbal threats or relatively minor incidents, but over time it can involve physical harm. Violent behavior is very damaging, both physically and emotionally. Violent behavior can include physical, verbal, or sexual abuse of an intimate partner (domestic violence), a child (child abuse), or an older adult (elder abuse).

Violence causes more injury and death in children, teenagers, and young adults than infectious disease, cancer, or birth defects. Murder, suicide, and violent injury are the leading causes of death in children. Violence with guns is one of the leading causes of death of children and teenagers in the United States.

If you are angry, hostile, or have violent behavior, it is important to find help. You can learn ways to control your feelings and actions. Contact Effective Living Clinic at 9987223811 / 9969105310 or write at info@effectivelivingclinic.com to help you find the help you need.

Use the Check Your Symptoms section to decide if and when you should see a doctor.

Diabetes Warning Signs

Because type 2 diabetes can lead to serious health complications, it's important to be aware of any diabetes warning signs and get tested for diabetes if you have these symptoms. Treating diabetes early, when treatment is most effective, can help prevent complications.

We'll explain the various diabetes warning signs and also warning signs of specific diabetes problems. Discover why it's important to listen to your body and alert your doctor if you notice any new signs or problems.

Warning Signs of Diabetes

Sometimes type 2 diabetes can develop without any warnings signs. In fact, about a third of all people who have type 2 diabetes don't know they have it. That's why it's important to talk to your doctor about your risk for diabetes and determined if you should be tested.

Common warnings signs of diabetes include:

·         Increased thirst

·         Increased hunger (especially after eating)

·         Dry mouth

·         Frequent urination or urine infections

·         Unexplained weight loss (even though you are eating and feel hungry)

·         Fatigue (weak, tired feeling)

·         Blurred vision

·         Headaches

·         Diabetic coma (loss of consciousness)

If you have any of the above mentioned warnings signs of diabetes, give your doctor a call and schedule a diabetes test. With the right diabetes diet, regular exercise, and medications, if needed, you can manage type 2 diabetes and live an active, productive life.

If you have symptoms of the following diabetes complications, it's important to seek immediate medical attention. Each brief discussion links to more in-depth information.

Hypoglycemia and Diabetes

As you'll learn in this health topic, hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, occurs when the level of sugar or glucose in the blood drops too low to fuel the body. Hypoglycemia is not a disease but a condition that results from a variety of causes.

Hypoglycemia is most commonly a complication of diabetes treatment (diabetic hypoglycemia). You can develop hypoglycemia by taking too much insulin or other diabetes medications or by delaying a meal. Hypoglycemia can also be the result of some medications, other diseases, or too much activity.

We'll explain more about some warning signs of hypoglycemia in this health topic, including nausea, a jittery or nervous feeling, a rapid heartbeat, mood changes, blurred vision, and difficulty walking. Severe hypoglycemia can lead to loss of consciousness, seizures, coma, and may be fatal.

Hyperglycemia and Diabetes

In this health topic, we explain the dangers of hyperglycemia, or high blood sugar levels, and diabetes. Hyperglycemia causes many of the warning signs of diabetes listed above. Hyperglycemia may be caused by skipping or forgetting your insulin or diabetes medicine, eating too many grams of carbs for the amount of insulin administered, simply eating too many grams of carbs in general, or from stress or infections.

In this health topic, we discuss hyperglycemic hyperosmolar nonketotic syndrome (HHNS), an extremely serious complication that can lead to diabetic coma and even death in type 2 diabetes. This serious condition occurs when the blood sugar gets too high and the body becomes severely dehydrated. To prevent HHNS and diabetic coma in type 2 diabetes, check your blood sugar regularly as recommended by your health care provider; when you are sick, check your blood sugar more frequently, drink plenty of fluids, and watch for signs of dehydration.

Other Warning Signs of Diabetes Complications

Other warning signs of type 2 diabetes' complications may include:

·         Slow-healing sores or cuts

·         Itching of the skin (usually around the vaginal or groin area)

·         Frequent yeast infections

·         Recent weight gain

·         Velvety, dark skin changes of the neck, armpit, and groin, called acanthosis nigricans

·         Numbness and tingling of the hands and feet

·         Decreased vision

·         Impotency

If you have any of these diabetes warning signs, contact your health care provider right away so you can have a diabetes test. Even people with pre-diabetes can have the increased risk from heart disease seen in people with type 1 or type 2 diabetes.