How to make a relationship work

Life's equations keep changing. Sometimes, unknowingly, owing to circumstances we often tend to ignore the issues that come in the way.

Before reaching a stage where there is no other alternative but to call it a quit, giving time to think what is or what has been going wrong can help one iron out the differences in a relationship. Particularly, in a man-woman relationship, there are many factors like lack of spending quality time, inability to listen to the partner, lead to misunderstandings which may give rise to fractures otherwise not warranted in a healthy relationships.

There are certain things, which may not look as very significant factors, but when paid attention to can act as buffers which will save one's relationship.

Here is how:

1. Never look lost in things while your partner is saying something important. This may give rise to the feeling that you are least interested in listening to what he or she feels or that you don't think his/her opinion counts much in your life.

2. Ask for your partner's opinion when in doubt. But if you think the advice proves counterproductive to what your logic says, politely convey the same and explain without losing cool why you think your viewpoint will be the ideal solution for the problem.

3. Even if at the working hours, pay equal attention to the calls from your family. There must be some reason why someone very close to you wants to speak to you. If you think repeated calls come in the way of work, politely and affectionately explain why one should not do so without losing your cool.

4. Gifts, parties, hangouts, food joints are alright. But there is something more than just material pleasure. Get closer on an emotional level and see your relationship working wonders.

5. Work towards physical compatibility. One does not just enter a relationship for the sake of fun. So share your likes and dislikes on the bed and go ahead to make it a wonderful experience.

Have proper sleep for healthy weight

Impairments to a gene known to be responsible for our internal body clocks, called 'Rev-Erb alpha', leads to excessive weight gain and related health problems, according to a new study.

The report by French scientists provides new insights into the importance of proper alignment between the body's internal timing and natural environmental light cycles to prevent or limit excessive weight gain and the problems this weight gain causes.

"It is now clear that impairment of daily rhythms such as shift-work, exposure to artificial lighting, or jet-lag has multiple adverse effects on human health, every effort should be made to maintain or restore normal temporal organization and to avoid potentially disruptive behaviors such as nocturnal meals or light exposure at night," said Etienne Challet, Ph.D., a researcher involved in the work from the Department of Neurobiology of Rhythms at the Institute of Cellular and Integrative Neurosciences at the University of Strasbourg in Pascal, France,

To make this discovery, Challet and colleagues studied two groups of mice. One group was normal and the other group lacked the Rev-Erb alpha gene. In the mice lacking the Rev-Erb alpha gene, it was determined that they became obese and hyperglycaemic even if they ate the same quantity of food at the same time as normal mice.

Further scientific investigation showed that when the Rev-Erb alpha-deficient mice were compared to the normal mice, there was a major difference in the way Rev-Erb alpha-deficient mice metabolized the food they ate.

The Rev-Erb alpha deficient mice created much more fat than the normal mice, and this occurred specifically during the feeding period. Additionally, the Rev-Erb-alpha deficient mice relied less on carbohydrate stores when at rest.

"The phrase 'sick and tired' could never be more true," said Gerald Weissmann, M.D., Editor-in-Chief of journal.

"This research shows that we evolved to live in synch with the natural light and dark cycles of our planet. Strasbourg has long taught us the finer aspects of cuisine; its scientists now explain how night and day can influence whether we are fat or lean," Weissmann added.

The study has been published online in the FASEB Journal.

Why must you drink water

Regular intake of water is essential for maintaining good health

Most of us know that up to seventy per cent of the total body weight is due to water. Although it is present in all parts of the body, it is more present in organs such as lungs and brain and fluids such as blood, lymph, saliva and secretions by the organs of the digestive system. The common belief is that we feel thirsty only when our body needs water.

While this is true, recent research studies have indicated that there are several other indicators of inadequate water in some or all parts of the body. Ignoring these indicators can lead to several major diseases. Most of us spend a lot of our working hours in air-conditioned environment so naturally we don't feel thirsty but that does not mean that our body does not need water. Lack of water can lead to fatigue too. So, for your glowing health, drink enough water.

Importance of water for maintaining normal health:
Just as water helps a seed grow into a tree, it also helps our body. The flow of water inside and outside the cells generates energy. This energy is stored in body along with other chemical sources of energy in the body. The energy generated by the water in the cells helps transmit impulses in the nerves. Water content in the body influences the functions of the various proteins and enzymes that are dissolved in it.
Water helps maintain the moisture of the lining of the internal organs of the body. It maintains normal volume and consistency of fluids such as blood and lymph. It regulates body temperature.

It removes 'toxins' from the body
Water is essential for regulating the normal structure and functions of the skin. The body loses about four litres of water every day. It is, therefore, necessary to replenish this volume by drinking at least the equivalent amount of water every day. Inadequate intake of water can lead to dehydration.

How to deal with stress at work

Here's how you can cope up with work stress.


The surface explanationStress is caused when we are in fear of some undesirable outcome. So, when we have deadlines, schedules or bills that are due, and we can't see ourselves meeting these targets, we feel a sense of fear. When we fear getting caught for doing or not doing something that was expected of us--we feel this fear. And it is this very fear that causes stress.
Fear is not bad, just as stress isn't bad either. In fact, without stress, we won't win races or go that extra mile and perform. Stress motivates us to take action sometimes. It only becomes bad for you when you allow it to reach levels where it instigates the same options that fear does. Namely, the 'Fight,' 'Flight' or 'Freeze' response.

A seeper understanding of stressOur bodies have a primitive--or should I say limbic--brain-generated response to stress, which no longer serves us in our concrete jungles as it did back when we were cavemen. Adrenaline and a racing heart and mind equals the need to "act;" ?dread equals the need to avoid; "can't act" equals a freeze.
These responses were valid and useful when we were hunters. Our modern day stressors are not fatal and often do not need us to realistically go into the fight, flight or freeze modes. Unfortunately, many of us allow our bodies to go there but only due to a lack of this understanding.

Solutions


Relax: The best thing you can do about something that's beyond your grasp is relax and surrender. If you really can't do anything then at least stop directing all this worry, stress and negative emotion towards your problem. Otherwise, this will render you incapable of doing anything else.
(The author is a certified life coach.)Exaggerate: Think of the words that you may recite in your head when you are stressed and then exaggerate them; notice what this feels like in your body and what it does to your breathing.
Usually the message is something like 'I will fail,' 'I will be sacked,' 'I may get demoted or scolded by my superiors,' 'people will see me as incompetent,' or 'I am just not good enough.' Terrible isn't it? Can you see how unhealthy and how unproductive thinking this way can be to you?
Notice how your body folds in, your breathing becomes short, your eyes and brows burrow inwards to form lines and frowns on your forehead, and your mouth goes down. Exaggerate the facial expressions stress brings with it and you will get a sense of how terrible it is for you.
Maintain structure: Stress is a sign of feeling overwhelmed, which simply means a lack of structure. Writing a list of all the important and urgent things that you need to get done is usually the first step to alleviating a lot of stress.
Do what needs to be done to pick your game up--be on time, clean up your clutter on your phone, computer, desk and calendar. When your stress causes you to react in anger because you are running late or caught in traffic, make it a point to just leave earlier, play good music in your car or iPod and relax instead. Renegotiate your commitments if you have to. Then put them in different categories, prioritize, and get cracking!Self-evaluationWhat has your stress cost you lately in your personal and professional relationships? Be honest with yourself. Have you broken anything, been horribly rude to anyone you care about, blown up over a business relationship or perhaps, even hurt someone physically? Has it made you hurt yourself by indulging in vices and staying in denial?

How parental style influences kids’ behavior

A new study has shed light on how parents' child-rearing styles are associated with their young children's behaviour.
University of Alberta researcher Christina Rinaldi said that although much of the research to date on parenting has looked only at the mother's role, the research she conducted with co-author Nina Howe of Concordia University ( Montreal) showed a correlation between the father's parental style and the child's behaviour, either positive or negative.
Their findings suggest parental styles that are either too strict or too lenient are likely to be associated with negative types of behaviour in children, whereas a more even-handed approach is more likely to result in positive conduct.
Participants in the study were asked to identify their parental style and that of their partner, and to identify and measure their children's behaviour.
The results indicated that when the mothers were more permissive in their parental style or the fathers more authoritarian, the toddlers tended to demonstrate negatively focused habits such as temper tantrums, arguing with adults or not sharing toys.
On the other hand, for parents who reported that the father displayed a firm but fair and friendly style, children tended to display a more positive demeanour.
"Being more authoritative is a positive style. You have structure, but you also have limits for kids so they know what to expect. It's very clear in its communication, but at the same time has expectations and doesn't let everything go," said Rinaldi.
"Toddlers are starting to test their environment. It's hard for them to communicate exactly what they want. And so it really tests the limits of what parents can do and their own abilities."
Rinaldi said it is important to remember that parental styles are fluid, and that factors such as mood and fatigue—on the part of both parent and child—can play a role in shifting a parent's approach.
The key, she said, lies with the parent being able to determine boundaries and limits to put on a child, based on the child and environment factors. Within the family dynamic, she said that parents may adopt different approaches among siblings as well, especially if one child is more even-tempered than another.
It's less of the Smothers Brothers' "mom always liked you best" situation and more like having to navigate the perilous waters of each child's needs.
"People look back on their own childhood and they say, 'Well, our parents didn't treat us the same,' but why would they treat you exactly the same? You are different human beings," said Rinaldi.
"Some children require a little bit more attention than others. And some parents are baffled as to why one strategy works with one and not with the others, so it is a demand on the parent to figure it out," Rinaldi added.
Rinaldi said there are many ways to be an effective parent, but what her research underscores is that parents who share the authoritative traits—by providing structure in a loving, caring, very clear way to their young children—are the ones to emulate.
She said kids need structure and routines to help them, especially in their early years. Toddlers enjoy knowing what to expect and what is expected of them, including having duties like helping to set the table or tasks such as brushing their teeth before bed.
Having reasonable expectations that are age-appropriate is another consideration, she insisted, noting that it might be unfair to expect young children not to be moody when they are hungry or up past their bedtime.
But when it comes time to be the firm, loving parent, it comes down to saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
The study has been published in Early Childhood Research Quarterly.