The surface explanationStress is caused when we are in fear of some undesirable outcome. So, when we have deadlines, schedules or bills that are due, and we can't see ourselves meeting these targets, we feel a sense of fear. When we fear getting caught for doing or not doing something that was expected of us--we feel this fear. And it is this very fear that causes stress.
Fear is not bad, just as stress isn't bad either. In fact, without stress, we won't win races or go that extra mile and perform. Stress motivates us to take action sometimes. It only becomes bad for you when you allow it to reach levels where it instigates the same options that fear does. Namely, the 'Fight,' 'Flight' or 'Freeze' response.
A seeper understanding of stressOur bodies have a primitive--or should I say limbic--brain-generated response to stress, which no longer serves us in our concrete jungles as it did back when we were cavemen. Adrenaline and a racing heart and mind equals the need to "act;" ?dread equals the need to avoid; "can't act" equals a freeze.
These responses were valid and useful when we were hunters. Our modern day stressors are not fatal and often do not need us to realistically go into the fight, flight or freeze modes. Unfortunately, many of us allow our bodies to go there but only due to a lack of this understanding.
Solutions
Relax: The best thing you can do about something that's beyond your grasp is relax and surrender. If you really can't do anything then at least stop directing all this worry, stress and negative emotion towards your problem. Otherwise, this will render you incapable of doing anything else.
(The author is a certified life coach.)Exaggerate: Think of the words that you may recite in your head when you are stressed and then exaggerate them; notice what this feels like in your body and what it does to your breathing.
Usually the message is something like 'I will fail,' 'I will be sacked,' 'I may get demoted or scolded by my superiors,' 'people will see me as incompetent,' or 'I am just not good enough.' Terrible isn't it? Can you see how unhealthy and how unproductive thinking this way can be to you?
Notice how your body folds in, your breathing becomes short, your eyes and brows burrow inwards to form lines and frowns on your forehead, and your mouth goes down. Exaggerate the facial expressions stress brings with it and you will get a sense of how terrible it is for you.
Maintain structure: Stress is a sign of feeling overwhelmed, which simply means a lack of structure. Writing a list of all the important and urgent things that you need to get done is usually the first step to alleviating a lot of stress.
Do what needs to be done to pick your game up--be on time, clean up your clutter on your phone, computer, desk and calendar. When your stress causes you to react in anger because you are running late or caught in traffic, make it a point to just leave earlier, play good music in your car or iPod and relax instead. Renegotiate your commitments if you have to. Then put them in different categories, prioritize, and get cracking!Self-evaluationWhat has your stress cost you lately in your personal and professional relationships? Be honest with yourself. Have you broken anything, been horribly rude to anyone you care about, blown up over a business relationship or perhaps, even hurt someone physically? Has it made you hurt yourself by indulging in vices and staying in denial?
