Why Your Life Sucks

Source: AlphaMale

This article is to help you get rid of the 'victim' mentality. To help you get rid of the fact that you think that your life sucks because other people make your life suck. That you're overweight because you don't have time to go to the gym or that your supermarket doesn't sell vegetables. That you haven't gotten laid in a year because nobody has approached you and asked you out.

Do you get the point...?

I used to have this 'victim' mentality too. I used to blame others for my unhappiness and the areas of my life that were way below average. It's just the easy way out. It's far too easy to say..."My life sucks because my parents, my boss, my friends and my boss driver make all my decisions for me and they are no good.".

Do you want to hear the REAL reason that your life sucks?

No, I bet you don't, but I'll tell you anyway:

Your life sucks because you suck!

I said you wouldn't like it.

YOU are responsible for your happiness, for your fitness and health, for your relationships, for your finances and for all your actions. But you've been hiding from that responsibility. You've been blaming your unhappiness and incompetence on others. It's time to stop blaming others and taking responsibility for your own life. That's when you really start to live.

"Everybody dies but not everybody lives." – Drake

Of course other people have an influence on your life. An enormous influence even. For the first 16+ years your life is greatly determined by your parents. They decide where you live, where you go to school, what education and skills you learn and possibly even what your future should be by sending you off to college.

Your friends and peers have a huge influence on you, especially when you are young. They influence everything from your choice in dating, to your clothes to the activities that you do in your free time.

When you're young you don't have the experience or initiative to stand up for yourself and say 'no' when other people influence you in a way that you're not happy or comfortable with. You simply don't know better and try your best to fit in and get the approval from others, even if it means doing things that make you uncomfortable or unhappy.

When you're a kid and you get bad grades in school because you have no time at home to study or do your homework, you're a victim because you have no other options. This is just an example to show you how it's very common for people to be a victim when they're young and genuinely being a victim because they have no control over the situation. Unfortunately, that 'victim' mentality stays with most people as they grow up, even when they have the power to change what's making them unhappy.

Stop Being A Wuss – Take Control Of Your Life

If you're 18 or older you have the ability to get a job and earn money to pay for monthly living expenses. You have no excuse to be a victim and blame others for your shortcomings. Your boss is not responsible for your low salary. Your parents are not to blame for your lack of success and your friends are not to blame for your lack of dates or love life.

Maybe they are – indirectly. But you have no control over where you grew up, or which school you went to, or which friends you had when you were young. That's something you need to accept and let go.

You have to work with what you've got, and make things better for yourself. If you're not happy with your job, have you thought about not complaining and actually going out and looking for a second job, or a new job, or starting something on the side(like an online business) ?

Are you unhappy with your relationship because your partner has very few of the qualities you want but you've settled because you think that's all you can get? How about stepping up, breaking up and going out there to talk and date people as long as it takes until you find someone who you're happy to be in a relationship with?

It's Childish and Immature To Blame Others

It's childish and immature to blame others who influenced you in the past for your lack of success today. Maybe you were a victim back then and had no choice in the matter, but now you have the power to take control, accept responsibility and change the things you are not happy with in your life.

Taking responsibility for your life is scary, no doubt. It places a big bulls eye on your ego, and exposes your ego to *shudder* failure. When you accept responsibility for your life it means that every single success and failure is because of your actions, and this very fact is often what causes people to keep the 'victim' mentality for so long. As a 'victim', your failures are never your fault, they are always caused by others and allows your ego to feel safe behind a wall of lies.

It takes guts and courage to take responsibility for your own actions, to stop hiding behind the 'victim' mentality that keeps you safe from the reality that the reason your life sucks is because of you.

But at the same time, when you take responsibility for your life, you begin to grow mentally and spiritually in a way like you never have before. When you take action to improve the areas of your life that you're not happy with, all the progress and all the success belongs to you. You're earning your right to live, to really be alive and make the most of life.

So I'm asking you, no I'm COMMANDING you... from today onwards, to stop blaming others and to take full control of your life. Be true to your heart and desires. If you're unhappy with an area of your life, take action to change it. No more hidin' behind that 'victim' mentality.

Teens getting sexually active than ever

Source: Times of India

A recent survey states the average age for losing virginity is 17. Is that so or are teenagers getting sexually active even earlier? Debarati S Sen explores ...

Studies have revealed that children, these days, are losing their virginity at a very young age. Experts say that with the average age of puberty going down to 9-10 years for girls and 10-11 years for boys, the average age for losing virginity too is going down. And the deadly paring with this is - awareness about sex is more these days and information (not always from the right sources) is freely available. Television, movies and most prominently the Internet is loaded with extremely easily accessible information and graphic details. This, most of the time, helps to entice the youngsters to experiment, who already have hormones raging through them.

Anju Uppal, principal of an international high school says, "I have been dealing with children for a long time and I do believe that children these days are losing their virginity very early. They get attracted to each other and are tempted to take it all further."

Curiosity killed the cat
Psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria says, "It's human nature to be curious. A teenager would definitely want to experiment and experience the information he/she has heard about sex. For certain kids who are more shy, withdrawn and introverts, social networking sites are best for communication. Kids who may be new to exploring sexuality or may have a high drive, do indulge in cyber sex or phone sex at times." Anju Uppal adds, "They are much more aware of things these days and they are very keen to experiment."

Lack of attention from parents
With most parents working, kids are without proper supervision (a maid would not even understand the nuances of phone or cyber sex) and free to do as they like. "Sometimes the attention from the parents is not enough, kids may indulge in these things just to attract negative attention from parents," says Dr Chhabria.

Family history
Children who are from broken families are prone to indulge in flings with multiple partners without emotional attachments. Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist adds, "When there is a marital discord between parents the children may try to cling to their relationships and are ready to lose their virginity to hold on to it."

Sex isn't taboo anymore
Sex in our society is also not such a taboo as it used to be earlier and virginity is not such a big deal. Psychotherapist Shilpa Raheja agrees, "Virginity has lost its sacred value. 'Saving your virginity for marriage' is something that is even laughed at these days by some people." This attitude, though not very common is accepted.

Influence of alcohol
Is influence of alcohol or substance abuse one of the reasons that lead to lowering the age of sexual activity among children? Dr Chhabria says, "It may not be one of the reasons but it may stimulate the sexual urge further for them to indulge in sex. Also substance and alcohol tend to reduce the anxiety towards sex and alter consciousness which definitely plays a major role in letting the person freely perform sex."

Peer-group pressure
To have a boyfriend or girlfriend is like a status symbol say experts. "So much of 'hanging around' at pubs, cafes and discos are happening. You need a girl in your arms when you walk in to a party," says Shilpa. There are children who have their reasons for absistence but sometimes they are counteracted upon in a very strong way by the friends and the peer group. "Friends often provide the means when a parent refuses," says Anju.

Proper education needed
Yes we all know sex education is provided in schools. Period. But with rampant teenage pregnancies it obviously is not enough. Shilpa says, "Talking openly about sex is still not common. Parents usually want some other organisation to do the sex-talk with their kids."

Effects on children
Seema says, "In the last five years I have seen the number rise rapidly. Around 50-75 per cent young girls and guys lose their virginity much before they are anywhere near adulthood. And this affects them mentally. When kids are in Std 5, they have crushes and before they are in college most lose their virginity. When such a relationship does not work out depression hits them. There are anxiety disorders, eating disorders and feelings of guilt that may ruin their childhood."

Expert advice for parents
A good relationship between parents may be important where both have similar parenting styles. Parents need to be role models and need to make their child see how important is love, affection, care and commitment in a relationship. They need to explain that sex is something precious to be shared with the person you love and not just an act of physical satisfaction.The emotional problems that come up with losing virginity at an early age and that come along with multiple partners needs to be explained to your child with a lot of patience. Children also need to understand that their parents are the one who they need to confide into. Also all information from friends and elsewhere needs to be confirmed as it may not always be true. Children also need to judge better for themselves what is right and wrong and what will be good for them in the future.

Advice for teenagers
-The only way you can guarantee that you won't catch a sexually transmitted disease and won't get pregnant is abstinence.
- No one can force you into it. 'If you loved me you'd do it', can be countered with a 'If you really loved me you would wait'.
- Saying a no to a person even if it is someone you have said a yes to earlier, is perfectly okay.
- Always keep in mind that despite what rumors and gossip may suggest, virgins are a majority in most high schools, not a minority.
- If you want to show someone how much you care intercourse is not the only way to go about it. Don't let others try to convince you otherwise.
- If you kiss someone passionately does not mean that you have to go on to having sex with them.

Weight Loss -- Why Is It So Slow For Me?

Source: Good Diet Good Health

When we read about the latest diets in magazines and newspapers or see them advertised on the TV, we could be forgiven for thinking that losing more than a couple of pounds each week, every week, is normal. The reality is that many of us can't lose weight at this rate, even if we keep to our diet one hundred per cent.

The trouble is, we've been led to believe that all that's involved in losing weight is eating less and exercising more. We're told that a pound of body fat equates to around 3,500 calories, and all we have to do is calculate how many calories we will need to 'save' each day (or how much more exercise we will need to take) to burn the desired amount of fat off.

Unfortunately, that's just the theory. In practice, it's not so straightforward. There are many different factors which affect how and when we lose weight.

Firstly, men on average lose weight at a faster rate than women. We women may complain at how unfair it is, but there's nothing we can do about it! Also, weight loss will be much slower for a person who is mildly overweight compared with someone who has very many pounds to lose.

When comparing our weight loss with the number of pounds the diet magazines claim we should be losing, it is important to consider how much of the weight loss is water or lean muscle tissue, and how much actual fat. If our own weight loss is less, it may be that we've lost fat and gained muscle (which is exactly what we want). The secret is that muscle weighs more than fat. It is denser, and takes up less space. So if we our clothes are looser even though we haven't lost much on the scales, then that may indicate that, although our weight loss may be a bit slow, our fat loss on the other hand is right on target.

Very often we become disappointed when our weight loss slows right down after an initial rush of success. A loss of 4 to 10 pounds or more in the first week of any diet is common. This is due to the depletion of our glycogen stores. Since we are not fulfilling all our energy needs by eating, our body starts to break these down, using up the glucose and excreting the water in which it was dissolved. This initial period of substantial weight loss is not sustainable, and is mostly only water anyway. This phenomenon is in fact what most 'crash' and 'lose 10 pounds in a week' diets rely upon for their apparent success.

Hormonal factors can also prevent us from losing weight as fast as our calorie calculations lead us to believe we ought. For instance, hormones are thought to play a part in how quickly weight is lost after giving birth. Pregnancy hormones 'instruct' the body to deposit fat in readiness for feeding the baby, and it seems logical that it may take time for the body's fat deposition to return to normal. Most sources advise that it takes 8 to 12 months to return to pre-pregnancy weight.

Slow weight loss (and even complete failure to lose weight on a diet) may also be related to conditions such as type 2 diabetes, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and hypothyroidism (low or underactive thyroid). Many prescribed medications can also interfere with weight loss.

Even eating too little may stop us losing weight. As part of the body's natural survival mechanism, metabolism slows when food intake drops excessively, in an attempt to conserve energy. That's why gradual weight loss, although frustrating, is likely to succeed in the long term where 'crash' diets fail.

Other problems such as food allergies, intestinal yeast overgrowth and carbohydrate intolerance can also play a part in slowing or stalling weight loss. The science behind all these factors and strategies for overcoming them are explained in the e-book Why Can't I Lose Weight.

10 facts on Blood

Source: WHO

Blood transfusion saves lives and improves health, but millions of patients requiring transfusion do not have timely access to safe blood. Every country needs to ensure that blood supplies are sufficient and free from HIV, hepatitis viruses and other chronic infections that can be transmitted through unsafe transfusion.

In high-income countries, transfusion is most commonly used to support invasive medical procedures and surgeries like open-heart surgery and organ transplant. In low- and middle-income countries it is used more often in pregnancy-related complications and severe childhood anaemia. As the demand for blood is increasing, blood shortages are common. More blood donors are needed to replace those that are lost every year due to ill health, retirement and relocation.

It is estimated that around 93 million blood donations are given every year. About 50% of these are donated in low- and middle-income countries where nearly 85% of the world’s population lives. The average blood donation rate is more than 13 times greater in high-income countries than in low- and middle-income.

Blood is collected in about 8000 blood centres spread all over the world. The average annual blood donation per centre varies from 30 000 in high-income countries to 7500 in middle-income countries and around 3700 in low-income countries.

Voluntary unpaid donors account for 100% of blood supplies in 58 countries. Since the inception of World Blood Donor Day in 2004, 111 countries have reported an increase in the number of voluntary donations. But in 45 countries, less than 25% of blood supplies come from voluntary unpaid donors.

The average donation rate in high-income countries is 45.4 donations per 1000 people. This compares with 10.1 donations per 1000 people in middle-income countries and 3.6 donations in low-income countries. If 1% to 3% of a country's population donated blood, it would be sufficient to meet the country's needs. But in 77 countries, donation rates are still less than 1%.

Adequate stocks of safe blood can only be assured through regular donation by voluntary unpaid blood donors, because the prevalence of bloodborne infections is lowest among these donors. It is higher among donors who give blood only as a replacement when it is required for a family and among those who give blood for money or other forms of payment.

Donated blood should always be screened for HIV, hepatitis B, hepatitis C and syphilis prior to transfusion, but in 42 countries (out of 173 countries reporting in 2008) not all donated blood is tested for one or more of these infections. Testing is not reliable in many countries because of staff shortages, poor quality test kits, irregular supplies, or lack of basic laboratory services.

Separating blood into its various components allows a single unit of blood to benefit several patients and provides a patient only the portion of blood which is needed. About 97% of the blood collected in high-income countries, 63% in middle-income countries and 28% in low-income countries is separated into blood components.

Often transfusions are prescribed when simpler, less expensive treatments might be equally effective. This exposes some patients to the needless risk of infections or severe transfusion reactions due to incompatibility of blood groups. Safe clinical transfusion practices are fundamental for transfusion to be truly life-saving with minimal risk.

How stress can cause skin problems: research

Source: DNA India

A research has shown how the complex link between the skin and the psyche" including the role of stress " affects skin conditions.

To understand the complex relationship between stress/distress and the skin, dermatologist and clinical psychologist Richard G. Fried, MD, PhD, FAAD, of Yardley, Pa., noted it is important to consider the biological response that happens when a person experiences stress.

Neuropeptides, the chemicals released by skin’s nerve endings, are the skin’s first line of defence from infection and trauma.

When responding to protect the skin, neuropeptides can create inflammation and an uncomfortable skin sensation, such as numbness, itching, sensitivity or tingling.

However, Dr. Fried explained that stressful situations could cause neuropeptides to be inappropriately released, which can lead to a flare of skin conditions.

“Until recently, it was thought that neuropeptides only stayed in the skin when they were released,” said Fried.

“But we now know that they travel to the brain and ultimately increase the reuptake of neurotransmitters" meaning that stress depletes the chemicals that regulate our emotions, such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. For example, when psoriasis patients feel stressed about their condition, it can aggravate their symptoms and lead to a further decline in their emotional state, which becomes a vicious cycle,” added Fried.

To help patients combat stress-aggravated skin conditions,. Fried recommends that appropriate stress management strategies be used in conjunction with traditional dermatologic therapies.

These strategies include psychotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, meditation, hypnosis, tai chi, yoga, antidepressants and beta blockers.

Fried added that the skin barrier function, which is the skin’s protective outer layer, can be impaired by stress as well.

Stress can make the skin more permeable, more sensitive and more reactive, which is why dermatologists recommend the use of over-the-counter moisturizers to enhance the skin barrier function.

If stress compromises the skin’s barrier function, more irritants, allergens, and bacteria can penetrate the skin and cause problems.

Specifically, stress can make a person’s rosacea more red or acne lesions more inflamed and more persistent. It can worsen hives, fever blisters, psoriasis and seborrheic dermatitis.

The finding was presented at the American Academy of Dermatology’s Summer Academy Meeting 2011 in New York.

Never-heard before sexual fantasies

Source: Times of India

Seeking passion in their love life and wanting to enhance their sexual pleasure, both men and women harbour deep sexual fantasies. While some resemble the regular sex activities, others maybe wild in nature.
Some are even inspired by porn flicks. It's not a bad idea to get down and dirty and introduce some adventure into your sex act by reenacting your sexual fantasies.
We've heard much about common sexual desires like making out on a secluded beach, having sex with an unknown stranger, seeing your partner undress in the light and duplicating porn stars etc. But have you ever heard of someone making love in a hot air balloon 1,000 feet above the ground or getting intimate with a fully clad partner in the elevator or storage room?
Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counselor explains, "Fantasies play a really crucial role in a couples' sexual life as it can decide on their pleasure quotient. It has everything to make or break their sexual bonding. If fantasies are fulfilled, they can do magic and if not it they can insert trouble in the sexual paradise. The nature of a fantasy also matters because depending on his/her partner's comfort levels -couples can make an effort to execute their fantasies together."
Here are some never-heard before sexual fantasies that can rock your sex life:
1. Steamy romp using ice cubes : Couples who wish to move away from bedroom boredom can take their sexual act all the way to their washrooms, kitchens or balconies. Some couples love getting raunchy inside a deep freezer with frozen ice all around. "Once in summer, me and my wife decided to get naked and put cover up each other's bodies with ice. As the ice melted it caused tantaslising sensations that turned us on. We also increased the lust quotient by licking and sucking the melting ice cubes from each others' bodies. The heat in our bodies and the cool sexiness of the ice made us scream for more sex," says Subodh Mishra, a 32-year-old advertising executive.
Hidden pleasure : Exchanging body heat with the cool sensations in your body is a great sex stimulant. It might be tough to bear the melting ice, but the process of heating up your partner is sure to keep you charged up.
2. Sexually aroused with a fully clad partner : It's indeed exciting to witness your partner undressing slowly and arousing for a steamy act in bed. But it can be equally fun to slip between the sheets with a fully clad partner. "I always wanted to have sex with my boyfriend when we were fully clothed instead of routinely ripping off each others' clothes. The hidden pleasure of finding your beau's moan zones through their clothes adds an edge to the love-making," says 27-year-old copy editor Pragya Sen.
Hidden pleasure : As you try to reach and find your partner's trigger zones, the little hindrances here and there that come in your way, push you to act wilder and make your partner feel even more wanted. Opening his/her buttons or sliding your hands inside their clothes will add to the sexctasy.
3. Having sex in the trial room : This one figures high on the wish list of couples. "I find the urgency of making out in a public place makes me climax like never before. Me and my girlfriend once went clothes' shopping at a unisex store and while trying out the clothes we started to kiss each other passionately. Soon, we had ripped each others' clothes off and were wild. It was hard to keep our moaning down," admits 21-year-old student Deepak Jha. So, tag along your lover for shopping and make sure to call them into the trial room for a secret sex soiree. "The quickie kind of sex is great to pep up one's sexual appetite," he adds.
Hidden pleasure : The fear of being caught at a forbidden location is what pushes couples to enjoy sex like never before. Watching their performance in the trial room mirror or keeping a check of who's standing outside keeps them aroused for a gratifying act.
4. Making out in a hot air balloon : Nothing can be as adventurous as sex combined with an adventure sport. Couples seek pleasure while trying out things like bungee jumping, river rafting or trekking. But imagine flying 10,000 feet above the ground in a hot air balloon - there can be no better chance to get intimate with your partner. Such a fantasy might make you dish out the mullah, but the pleasure is surely worthwhile. "I once had sex with my fiance on a boat when we were out rafting. The cool winds, the open sky and the rocking of the boat made the sex unbelievable. Being naked amidst nature is a great thrill," says 29-year-old teacher Madhavi Malani.
Hidden pleasure : It brings an immense gratification when you can view the whole world, but no one can see you as you indulge in a sexual session with your beloved.
5. Passion heat in a mud pond : Mud fights looks interesting on screen, but when real life couples jump into messy muddy pools with their lovers, it can certainly add to their sexual pleasure. It's indeed a crazy fantasy to perform the act in a messy place, but the urge to get wild is what encourages couples to think out-of-the-box and enjoy sexual bliss. "There was some construction work going on in our compound that left the area extremely messy. Once after a vicious fight, we just got wild rolling in the mud and ripping off each others' clothes. It was a stimulating experience to get so wild. So much better than a predictable sex on the bed with clean sheets. After the romp, we had a bath together and that got us lustful for more hot sex," says 34-year-old lawyer Ram Chandra.
Hidden pleasure : As couples get all messy and dirty, they take extra pleasure in wiping the mud off from their partner's body through their tender touches. These little gestures are a perfect way to stimulate their moan zones for a better performance.