Being a stepmom is not easy. It is one of the most difficult relationships that a woman may have to nurture. Our society has always portrayed stepmother as the evil woman. It's natural for children to feel the same and not feel comfortable being around their stepmom. So, it is upto her you make the children comfortable. Here are some tips to make an entry into your new family without feeling like a stranger:
Be a communicator from Day one: Once you know that you are about to enter another family, start communicating with your new children from the beginning. There might be some things that your stepchildren might need clarification about. Talk to them. You should ask your husband to help you out with this. Do your research and know what is it that your stepchildren like and dislike. Take them out for a coffee, and talk to them like you would to a friend. You could even join them at an activity which they are interested in, but make sure they permit you to do the same.
Don't be too eager: Remember that no child, be it adult or young, can give their stepmother the place of his/her mother at first. It takes time. So it is best for you to respect that. Don't pester them to call you mom or behave like a stern mother chalking down rules for them.
You are not their Mom yet: Let your husband take major decisions where the children are concerned. Your husband does know them better and you should accept that sportingly.
Know your limits: Your stepchild is not someone you know for many years, so they may not want to share detail with you. Respect their privacy. Do not intrude, it's likely to make things uncomfortable for everyone.
Don't be a pushover: You don't have to be extra nice to your kids to establish a good rapport with them. Don't give in to unusual demands. Follow the rules that have been set over the years.
Cut out the complaints: If you keep complaining about them to your husband, it's likely to affect your relationship adversely. Make sure you don't fake being nice to them, and actually bitch behind their back.
Be a communicator from Day one: Once you know that you are about to enter another family, start communicating with your new children from the beginning. There might be some things that your stepchildren might need clarification about. Talk to them. You should ask your husband to help you out with this. Do your research and know what is it that your stepchildren like and dislike. Take them out for a coffee, and talk to them like you would to a friend. You could even join them at an activity which they are interested in, but make sure they permit you to do the same.
Don't be too eager: Remember that no child, be it adult or young, can give their stepmother the place of his/her mother at first. It takes time. So it is best for you to respect that. Don't pester them to call you mom or behave like a stern mother chalking down rules for them.
You are not their Mom yet: Let your husband take major decisions where the children are concerned. Your husband does know them better and you should accept that sportingly.
Know your limits: Your stepchild is not someone you know for many years, so they may not want to share detail with you. Respect their privacy. Do not intrude, it's likely to make things uncomfortable for everyone.
Don't be a pushover: You don't have to be extra nice to your kids to establish a good rapport with them. Don't give in to unusual demands. Follow the rules that have been set over the years.
Cut out the complaints: If you keep complaining about them to your husband, it's likely to affect your relationship adversely. Make sure you don't fake being nice to them, and actually bitch behind their back.
