Stepmom? So what!

Being a stepmom is not easy. It is one of the most difficult relationships that a woman may have to nurture. Our society has always portrayed stepmother as the evil woman. It's natural for children to feel the same and not feel comfortable being around their stepmom. So, it is upto her you make the children comfortable. Here are some tips to make an entry into your new family without feeling like a stranger:

Be a communicator from Day one: Once you know that you are about to enter another family, start communicating with your new children from the beginning. There might be some things that your stepchildren might need clarification about. Talk to them. You should ask your husband to help you out with this. Do your research and know what is it that your stepchildren like and dislike. Take them out for a coffee, and talk to them like you would to a friend. You could even join them at an activity which they are interested in, but make sure they permit you to do the same.

Don't be too eager: Remember that no child, be it adult or young, can give their stepmother the place of his/her mother at first. It takes time. So it is best for you to respect that. Don't pester them to call you mom or behave like a stern mother chalking down rules for them.

You are not their Mom yet: Let your husband take major decisions where the children are concerned. Your husband does know them better and you should accept that sportingly.

Know your limits: Your stepchild is not someone you know for many years, so they may not want to share detail with you. Respect their privacy. Do not intrude, it's likely to make things uncomfortable for everyone.

Don't be a pushover: You don't have to be extra nice to your kids to establish a good rapport with them. Don't give in to unusual demands. Follow the rules that have been set over the years.

Cut out the complaints: If you keep complaining about them to your husband, it's likely to affect your relationship adversely. Make sure you don't fake being nice to them, and actually bitch behind their back.

How to make sure your kid eats healthy

Source: Times of India - Rejuvenate

After a shocking report yesterday on how more and more urban Indians are becoming obese, here’s some good news. School children are starting to get conscious about eating healthy. With principals, teachers and parents increasingly becoming worried about the rise in obesity among children, they are not only looking into what’s being served in the canteen and brought in tiffins, but also bringing on board dieticians and nutritionists. Here are some tips to make sure that your child eats right.

Healthy proteins: Growing children need protein. Dairy products (milk, curd, paneer etc), dals and pulses should be a part of their daily diet. For non-vegetarians, chicken and fish is advised, but not red meat. At snack time, give them a sandwich made of brown bread with cottage cheese, tofu or chicken.

Essential nutrients: Fresh fruits and vegetables are very important as they provide essential vitamins and minerals. A good way to ensure your child eats vegetables is by making yummy, vegetable soups for him. They are low in fat, yet nutritious. You could make sure he eats enough fruit by cutting up fruits and adding them to his morning cereal.

Go nuts: Children should regularly consume small amounts of dates and nuts, like almonds and walnuts. Though high in calories, they build immunity. Tip: Throw in a couple of almonds or a few dates into a fruit smoothie.

Start early: Children should be told the ill effects of consuming junk food. There should be restrictions on food sold in school canteens. You could make suggestions about what kind of food should be served during the next PTA meet. And if your child’s school agrees, you could also suggest that they get a nutritionist or dietician on board.

All work and no play: Schools and parents should emphasise sports and a healthy diet. Encourage your child to play a sport of their choice everyday. It could be anything from basketball to swimming, cycling or cricket. This ensures that they get their daily dose of cardio.

Find source of ego

Meditation is deliberating on the thought process and bringing it to a focal point. Some go for total thoughtlessness. The other way is to focus between the eyebrows to see the light of Brahmn. 

Chanting of a mantra is another way to do meditation. Ramana Maharishi of Arunachalam said that one should search for self-identity by asking: "Who am I?" In meditation one should ask this question and with gradual evolution find calmness and peace.

The question really means, what is the source or origin of ego? To find the answers you need to be free of attitude. Give up the bhavana that you are the body related to name, profession, region, language and other such acquired identities. There is no need to have an attitude about your real nature. It exists as it always has. It is real. Some ask that does not the enquiry "who am I"? turn out, in the end, to be an empty question?

Self-enquiry is not done in vain. It is more than the repetition of a mantra. If the enquiry were a mere mental exercise, it would not be of much value. The very purpose of self-enquiry is to focus the entire mind at its source. It is not one eye searching for another eye. Neither is self-enquiry an empty formula, for it involves an intense activity of the entire mind to keep it steadily poised in pure self-awareness. Until one realises that state of pure being, the enquiry should continue. By gradual evolution in this state, it is possible for one to get permanently established in the state of self-awareness. The state of self-awareness is termed as sat-chit-anand or total bliss.

Be what you are. Lose your ego. You cannot run away from your self. Maharishi said, reject all other thoughts and persist with the enquiry "who am I?" As per Maharishi's formula, if you keep raising the enquiry "who am I?" many thought waves will get to disappear with the enquiry.

Self-enquiry leads to knowledge of Self. One is aware of the Self even-though the Self is not objectified. When you say you do not know the Self, it means absence of related knowledge because we are so accustomed to relative knowledge that we always look for same. Because of this the goal of Self- realisation appears to be distant.

Feel yourself dismantling the false i that is ego and establish yourself in the real i and the answer to the query of "Who am I?" becomes evident. To gauge progress on the journey of Self-realisation see the degree of absence of thoughts. Self-realisation itself does not admit to progress. The obstacles are thoughts. Progress is measured by the degree of removal of these obstacles.

With self-enquiry you go to the source of these thoughts and this enquiry removes that source of thought. This process will remove all doubts and finally peace will prevail. This way we will be able to say that Self-realisation is that which is peace. All that we need to do is to keep quiet. Peace is our real nature. By realising the Self you can easily call yourself divine. Ahambrahmnsmi or " I am Brahmn" can be felt in word and spirit. Those who realise the Self are called saints. The journey is not difficulat; it is achievable. Just meditate on the question: "Who am I?" and you will eventually find the answer.