Having good friends can be one of the best things in life. Friends accept us just the way we are and we can tell them things about our life that we cannot share with our family.
They are there through our joys and sorrows and offer us support. But sometimes jealousy can creep into the friendship knowingly or unknowingly and can change the whole equation. And it need not be your friend who's jealous, it could be you too!
Jealousy is an emotion that is not restricted only to romantic relationships. When we are friends with someone, almost all the time there is a mutual sharing of feelings and emotional dependency. When the friendship is in the process of being built or when the dependency in the friendship increases, insecurity can develop. For example, we could be jealous of our friend's job or promotion, or jealous of another friend who we think could threaten our friendship.
How to beat it
The first step is admitting that one is jealous. Secondly, one must make a resolve to overcome the jealousy and not let it affect the friendship. Here are some tips.
- Doing a self-analysis is important in order to understand the reasons why one is jealous, from where and why are these feelings of jealousy are coming from?
- Lack of confidence can lead to insecurity about losing the friendship. Speaking about your feelings is a great way to let it out of your system. And for all you know, even your friend may have the same feelings.
- Turn your feelings of jealousy into motivation. If you are jealous that your friend has lost a lot of weight and looks better than you, motivate yourself to lose weight and look better for yourself and not just to compete with him or her.
A jealous friend?
You genuinely like your friend but sometimes you can't help but notice that he or she is jealous of you. Be prepared to deal with nasty comments, possessive behaviour and manipulation but at the same time remember not to be harsh because he or she is your friend after all. Here's some advice to deal with the downside of a jealous friend:
- He/she might be insecure about losing your friendship and thus, is envious of your other friends. Do not give into emotional blackmail.
- Most of the jealousy stems from insecurity. Therefore, compliment your friend on his or her strengths and help them with their weakness. Motivate them to do better in life.
- If your friend's jealous behaviour is steadily increasing to the point that you are distressed, you need to have a straight chat with him or her. Tell him/her how their constant criticism, snide remarks are hurting you. And how you are willing to forgive them because you cherish them but you won't keep quiet for long and want to resolve the situation.
