Whom do you go up to when you want to buy an expensive dress or the newly launched playstation? Is it your mother or father who gives in to all your demands? Or, do they subtly reject your plea by passing the buck to each other?
Whenever Disha D wants extra pocket money or permission to go out for a late party, her parents can never come to a conclusion.
"It's been like this for years. My father is out of town most of the time due to business. So, my mother always asks me to get his permission. When I get in touch with him, he says please ask your mother, I am busy," says Disha who calls this entire process a merry-go-round experience.
Dr Seema Darode, clinical psychologist, says, "There can be various reasons for such kind of behaviour. One of the reasons could be that the parent does not want to create a bad image by refusing the child. So, he or she plays it safe by passing the buck. The other reason could be that the parent is not assertive and wants to avoid any argument." She adds that, instead of avoiding a discussion, parents should sit down and explain to the child why they have refused in the first place.
And what do the parents feel about this?
Clare Rodriques, mother of a teenage daughter, says, "There are many things which we know is wrong for her, but do not know how to put it to her. So, in such cases, we just keep passing it on to each other. Today, children are unpredictable, and you never know how they will react. Hence, we prefer to delay the situation than take a decision at that moment." She says that the resentment after refusal is the reason she prefers to avoid taking a call.
The youngsters do not enjoy such a situation, too. Abhishek Deshmukh, a student says, "Whenever I ask my mother for a particular thing, she sends me to my father. He, in turn, does the same thing. They continue to do that for days till I give up."
Abhishek feels that it's unfair on their part to behave in such a manner. Instead of playing the passing game, the parents need to talk straight with the child. If he/she is bright, the kid will understand: in the long, if not the short, run.
Whenever Disha D wants extra pocket money or permission to go out for a late party, her parents can never come to a conclusion.
"It's been like this for years. My father is out of town most of the time due to business. So, my mother always asks me to get his permission. When I get in touch with him, he says please ask your mother, I am busy," says Disha who calls this entire process a merry-go-round experience.
Dr Seema Darode, clinical psychologist, says, "There can be various reasons for such kind of behaviour. One of the reasons could be that the parent does not want to create a bad image by refusing the child. So, he or she plays it safe by passing the buck. The other reason could be that the parent is not assertive and wants to avoid any argument." She adds that, instead of avoiding a discussion, parents should sit down and explain to the child why they have refused in the first place.
And what do the parents feel about this?
Clare Rodriques, mother of a teenage daughter, says, "There are many things which we know is wrong for her, but do not know how to put it to her. So, in such cases, we just keep passing it on to each other. Today, children are unpredictable, and you never know how they will react. Hence, we prefer to delay the situation than take a decision at that moment." She says that the resentment after refusal is the reason she prefers to avoid taking a call.
The youngsters do not enjoy such a situation, too. Abhishek Deshmukh, a student says, "Whenever I ask my mother for a particular thing, she sends me to my father. He, in turn, does the same thing. They continue to do that for days till I give up."
Abhishek feels that it's unfair on their part to behave in such a manner. Instead of playing the passing game, the parents need to talk straight with the child. If he/she is bright, the kid will understand: in the long, if not the short, run.
