Single parent? Tips for raising a child alone

Raising a child on your own can be stressful. If you're a single parent, understand how to cope with the pressure, find support and nurture your child.
If you're raising a child on your own, you're in good company. Single-parent families are more common than ever. Know how to manage some of the special challenges single parents experience and what you can do to raise a happy, healthy child.

What are the most common single-parent challenges?

Child rearing can be difficult under any circumstances. Without a partner, the stakes are even higher. As a single parent, you might have sole responsibility for all aspects of day-to-day child care. This can result in added pressure, stress and fatigue. If you're too tired or distracted to be emotionally supportive or consistently discipline your child, behavioral problems might arise. In addition, single-parent families generally have lower incomes and less access to health care. Juggling work and child care can be financially difficult and socially isolating. You might also worry about the lack of a male or female parental role model for your child.

How can a single parent deal with these challenges?

To reduce stress in your single-parent family:

·         Show your love. Remember to praise your child. Give him or her your unconditional love and support.

·         Create a routine. Structure — such as regularly scheduled meals and bedtimes — helps your child know what to expect.

·         Prioritize family time. Set aside time each day to play, read or simply sit with your child.

·         Find quality child care. Although an older sibling can sometimes care for a younger sibling, don't rely on an older child as your only baby sitter. Be careful about asking a new friend or partner to watch your child. If you need regular child care, look for a qualified caregiver who can provide stimulation in a safe environment.

·         Set reasonable limits. Explain house rules and expectations to your child — such as speaking respectfully and picking up after yourself — and be careful to enforce them. Work with the other caregivers in your child's life to ensure you're providing consistent discipline. Consider re-evaluating certain limits, such as your child's computer time or curfew, when he or she demonstrates the ability to accept more responsibility.

·         Don't feel guilty. Don't blame yourself or spoil your child to try to make up for being a single parent.

·         Take care of yourself. Include physical activity in your daily routine, eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep. Arrange time to do activities you enjoy alone or with close friends.

·         Lean on others. Just because you're a single parent doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. Work out a carpool schedule with other parents. Join a support group for single parents or seek social services. Call on trusted loved ones, friends and neighbors for help. Faith communities can be helpful resources, too.

·         Stay positive. Your mood and attitude can affect your child. It's OK to be honest with your child if you're having a difficult time, but remind him or her that things will get better. Try to keep your sense of humor when dealing with everyday challenges.

How should a single parent talk to a child about separation or divorce?

Many single-parent families are the result of divorce or separation. If this is the case in your family, talk to your child about the changes you're facing. Listen to your child's feelings and try to answer his or her questions honestly — avoiding unnecessary details or negativity about the other parent. Remind your child that he or she did nothing to cause the divorce or separation and that you'll always love him or her. A counselor might be able to help you and your child talk about problems, fears or concerns. Try to regularly communicate with your child's other parent about your child's care and well-being to help him or her adapt.

How can a single parent handle dating?

If you're dating, consider the fact that your new romantic partner will have an impact on your child. Look for a partner who will treat both you and your child with respect. Consider waiting until you've established a solid relationship with someone before introducing him or her to your child. When you're ready to make the introduction, explain to your child some of your new partner's positive qualities. Don't expect your new partner and your child to become close immediately, however. Give them time to get to know each other and develop a relationship.

How can a single parent address the lack of a male or female parental role model for a child?

If your child's other parent isn't involved in his or her life, you might worry about the lack of a male or female parental role model in your child's life. To send positive messages about the opposite sex:

·         Look for opportunities to be positive about the opposite sex. Point out accomplishments or positive characteristics of members of the opposite sex in your family, the community or even the media. Avoid making broad, negative statements about the opposite sex. 

Think multitasking saves you time? Think again

Dr.Edward T. Creagan, M.D. - Rejuvenate

A short while ago, I was invited to speak before a professional audience. As happens on occasion, one or two colleagues came up to the stage and asked if they could have my presentation on a USB flash drive. Of course I agreed. The procedure to do this is somewhat complicated and requires some focus on my part.

As I was trying to accommodate this request, another colleague came up to me and asked some very complicated questions. When my computer nearly melted down, I realized that I couldn't simultaneously complete the task and respond to questions. I then had to spend precious time dealing with the technical tsunami I'd created for myself.

Let me give you another example of why staying focused is so vital. A week or so ago, my wife and I had blocked out several hours on our calendars to pack and prepare for a trip. Despite that, we both accepted a number of other commitments for this time. We became distracted. We lost focus and energy and, as a result, we failed to follow some basic rules of travel, such as making sure we had our passports, confirming flight times, and so on. As you can imagine, our trip was punctuated by a number of misadventures.

These experiences served to remind me of the importance of protecting my time so that I can focus on the task at hand. Some lessons take repeating, I guess. Can anyone relate?

Effective

5 Types of women men can't stand

Source: Times of India

We all know what women don't like in men, but do we have even the slightest idea about what type of women put off men? Here is the lowdown on the personality types men don't like at all.

Cribber: Women who crib, talk negatively and belittle people are a great turn-off. Sure we all have our bags full of complaints, but it is one thing to complain once in a while, and it's something else to crib big time 24x7 about every issue or every person one comes across. Men can't understand why a woman has to crib and bitch all the time. Either you do something about the issue or stop complaining - it's as simple as that.

Weight-watcher: 'Oh can't have beer, it has 150 calories', 'I must hit the gym everyday' - if these are your favourite catchwords, you have trouble coming your way. There is only so much diet, exercise regimens men can take and if you are too conscious, a man is likely to be exasperated. Women need to know when to give in 'without throwing their weight around'!

In-law basher: Agreed only the fortunate are blessed with a good set of in-laws. So if you are not one of the lucky ones, will you constantly bash them up verbally? They are somebody's parents and if you don't have anything nice to say something about them, don't say anything. How does that sound?

Worker bee: If you are buzzing nineteen to a dozen only about the presentations you have to make for the boss, deadlines, colleagues, HR head and the office janitor - it's obvious you have nothing else to talk about. A man may want to know about your interests, your views on him, and more, but you prefer to hide behind 'work' all the time. If you want a man, any man actually - get a life first.

Agony aunt: There are some women who constantly feel they are an 'advisory body'. They feel it is their business to hear out the whines of everyone around them and suggest suitable solutions. They are so deeply involved in this part-time job that they inadvertently sound like they are advising you as well. Nobody wants to date a mom, you know.

Making an impression on Ma-in-Law

Source: Times of India

Here's an incident that will grab the attention of all prospective daughter-in-laws.

UK resident Carolyn Bourne stated in an email to her son's fiancee Heidi Withers that she needed 'guidance from experts' because of her lack of manners. What manners? Apparently, Withers didn't wake up early enough while spending a weekend with her boyfriend's family and didn't write a 'thank you' letter to the would-be mother-in-law! The incident became an internet sensation after the letter went viral. Meeting prospective in-laws is a daunting task for any woman. But you can get it right. Here's how.

Don't try to be someone else
Your future mother-in-law is bound to be guarded as you are the 'new woman' in her son's life. She wants the best for him, so she'll definitely size you up. Avoid faking an accent or trying to be someone else.

Don't show you are nervous
Being nervous is natural. However, it helps if you appear confident with a good posture. Don't shy away from making eye contact with your mother-in-law.

Skip embarrassing incidents
As this is the first time you're meeting, avoid talking about family problems like property fights and narrating embarrassing incidents.

Wait and watch
Ameeta Shanghavi Shah, a relationship expert, says, "It's best to wait and watch. Be a listener rather than a talker. Don't be confrontational and avoid arguments. Ask questions so you can get to know your mother-inlaw better. Be warm, friendly, courteous and appreciative of the efforts of your hostess. If you think you are not comfortable with the line of questions, change the track of the conversation rather than being rude."

Dress right for the occasion
Wear something comfortable and not too revealing. A low-cut dress will immediately put an elderly person off, conservative or liberal. Basic etiquette can go a long way in making a good first impression according to clinical psychologist Dr Seema Hingorrany. "Don't be flashy or garish with your choice of clothes or make-up.Take something for your mother-in-law, she is bound to remember the courtesy," she says.

Dating Advice When Dating Men

Source: Dating Men Guide

The word ‘dating’ means ‘the act of engagement between two individuals’. Dating is a social activity in which couples, individuals, and groups communicate with each other to further continue their relationship. Dating also refers to the act in which two people come closer for romance and sexual coupling.

Dating advice for women are somewhat different from men. It would be better to acquaint yourself with these dating tips first before adventuring out on a date with a man.

General Dating Tips:

• Always look your best, as you could meet Mr. Right anywhere, anytime. Be simple, but elegant, as some men don’t like too much make-up. Dress smartly, in which you look thin with light lipstick. That can turn his head.
• Don’t reveal all of your secrets on the first date, as men like oracular women.
• If you meet a handsome person and from day one you start liking him, then don’t wait for him to come first.
• Don’t continue your relationship with men who show insecurity and possessiveness from the first date.
• If you desire a child in the future, don’t mention it on the first few dates.
• If you want to continue your relationship with him, then don’t dare criticize his mother.
• Don’t talk too much on the first few dates just to impress a man.
• Never receive his phone calls, nor be available when he wants you to be after the first few dates. But don’t repeat this often as this may end your relationship.
• Don’t prolong the dates when dating men. Keep it brief to maintain the charm of the relationship, so that he may be more interested in you.
• In dating, it is on him to pay the bill.
• Be compassionate and show interest in him if you want to continue the relationship.
• Most important among dating tips for women; regarding previous dates, or past relationships, avoid mentioning them. This may create irritation in him if he is a sensitive person.
• Don’t show a desperate nature in dating, as men like women who appear hard to get.
• Always keep your man waiting as this will increase bonding.
• Don’t be eager to rush into a sexual relationship. Make him prove his love for you before you get intimate.