Some of us enjoy solitude, but there's a whole section of people who are terrified with the mere thought of being left alone? Purvaja Sawant finds out more
Though the concept of 'Forever Alone' came out of an exploitable rage comic character, who expresses loneliness and disappointment with life in an amusing way, in today's real world, this is no laughing matter. Whether you're single, in a committed relationship, or even happily married, the fear of being alone is one syndrome that can grip any individual, irrespective of his or her background. If you are constantly seen refreshing your inbox, randomly pinging acquaintances on your phone or start feeling getting restless when you are left by yourself for even a few minutes, you could be a victim of this syndrome.
Why are we so scared of being left alone?
Though the concept of 'Forever Alone' came out of an exploitable rage comic character, who expresses loneliness and disappointment with life in an amusing way, in today's real world, this is no laughing matter. Whether you're single, in a committed relationship, or even happily married, the fear of being alone is one syndrome that can grip any individual, irrespective of his or her background. If you are constantly seen refreshing your inbox, randomly pinging acquaintances on your phone or start feeling getting restless when you are left by yourself for even a few minutes, you could be a victim of this syndrome.
Why are we so scared of being left alone?
Says relationship expert Dr Rajan Bhonsle, "We are living in an era of instant gratification. Right from instant coffee to getting information about anything, everything is available on a click. We just don't have the patience to wait. So the moment we are left alone, or find ourselves unoccupied, we panic, as our mind isn't trained to relax."
Thanks to the fast paced lives that we lead, with demanding jobs, family and social commitments, at the end of the day, we are barely left with any 'me-time'. While we all need a little mind space to get over all the happenings of the day — be it a deadline at work, or a fight with a friend — very few of us are getting or rather allowing that kind of space. We are so used to the adrenaline
Says relationship expert Dr Rajan Bhonsle, "We are living in an era of instant gratification. Right from instant coffee to getting information about anything, everything is available on a click. We just don't have the patience to wait. So the moment we are left alone, or find ourselves unoccupied, we panic, as our mind isn't trained to relax."
Thanks to the fast paced lives that we lead, with demanding jobs, family and social commitments, at the end of the day, we are barely left with any 'me-time'. While we all need a little mind space to get over all the happenings of the day — be it a deadline at work, or a fight with a friend — very few of us are getting or rather allowing that kind of space. We are so used to the adrenaline rush and excitement, that we cannot bear the thought of being alone. Like clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Varkha Chulani reveals, "We are afraid of our own thoughts. We want to escape from ourselves. Hence, we do things like randomly surfing the net, simply to distract ourselves."
Perhaps it's our constantly 'plugged-in' status on social media sites but we feel the constant need to be connected and when that doesn't happen, the feeling of being disconnected creeps in, which we term as loneliness.
Tip you can use
If the thought of being alone petrifies you to the extent that you become dysfunctional, get professional counselling - this irrational fear could also be a result of a serious, deep-rooted problem.
Ways to fight this phobia
Don't just master the fear of being alone but also learn to enjoy some 'me' time with the help of these pointers:
Keep that mobile at bay: Whenever you get time by yourself, your first impulse is to reach out for your phone and message or call someone. Just resist that temptation and pick up a book instead.
Indulge in a social activity - all by yourself: According to a study by Harvard University, when we experience things alone, we form stronger and more lasting memories. So go solo for a movie or musical!
Solve underlying issues: Face your problems, whatever they may be, instead of sweeping them under the rug. This way, you will be better equipped to face yourself.
Get in touch with your inner being: Whenever you experience pangs of loneliness, accept it and let the feeling pass.
"Fear can bring suffering and suffering adds gravity to fear." - Dr. Kurien S Thomas
