Know when to say no

Sometimes children push themselves too hard while aiming for the skies. Parents, watch out for the warning signs and put your foot down. It will save your child, say experts

Pressure to win and be the best. Attending tuition classes. Intense training schedules. In a world of super achievers, children often find themselves at the burnt end of the rope. With constant peer pressure, and overzealous parents wanting their children to accomplish beyond their capacity, more often than not, a push becomes the shove.

A lot of times, peer pressure leads to children stressing themselves out over education, sports or other extracurricular activities. Nishi Mehta (name changed on request) recalls her son's mad dash to learn football, as a lot of his friends had signed up for the game.

"My son suffers from fragile bones. Football is an energetic game that requires a lot of running around and tremendous stamina. It also results in a lot of injuries, which he couldn't cope with, considering his condition. I had a tough time explaining to him why football was not his sport," she says.

Dr Bhupendra Chaudhry, Consultant Psychiatrist, Manipal Hospital, explains, "A lot of children put pressure on themselves after seeing their peer group and set unrealistic targets for themselves. They want to prove that they are super achievers. In such cases parents need to emphathise with the child and offer them an alternative solution." Like Nishi Mehta did after seeking professional help, which helped her to understand her child's strengths through some simple tests and signed him up for chess, an indoor game. "His analytical skills and patience levels were ideal for the game. Now when he wins chess tournaments, he doesn't feel left out of the success cycle."

As Dr Yesheswini Kamaraju, Consultant Psychiatrist, Fortis Hospital, says, "For majority of children, it takes time to know their expertise. If a child doesn't try out various options, he or she may be losing out on opportunities."

The red flags
Experts opine that most children and adolescents show warning signs when pushed beyond a limit. As parents, it is necessary to look out for the danger spots for damage control.
Common signs include
» anxiety
» mood disorders
» adamant behaviour
» anti-social behaviour

"Loss of concentration, being fearful in public situations, watching too much television or doing standalone activities should ring a bell," points out Dr Chaudhry. It is a common situation, when families or parents push a child so much it results in irritability and they want to escape the rigour. "In such cases, family sessions where parents are helped to evaluate and set expectations, understand their ward's temperamental attitudes is important," he explains.

Functional pains are another indication, points out Dr Kamaraju. "Abdominal aches, stress-induced symptoms, headaches, sleep difficulties can be a manifestation of the emotional turmoil that a child goes through in such situations," she says.

Remedial actions
Taking help from professional counsellors can help resolve behavioural disasters to a great extent, says Dr Chaudhry. Agrees Dr Kamaraju, advising the presence of school counsellors and therapists. Using the right language and helping the child develop a good self esteem after they've quit something is very important, she says. "Words like 'you won't get it, what is this rubbish' are very common in schools these days.

What a lot of educationists need to understand is that these words can affect a child mentally," she warns. "If a child wants to quit something, immediately after trying it, explain to them patiently that they need to give it some time before deciding to do so. But if he or she is
absolutely hell-bent on giving up or if it is a physical problem, then a parent has to realise that there is a difficulty and that they should stop pushing," Dr Kamaraju says.

Taking a break and then getting back to it if a child feels the inclination or interest is another option. Having the right role models to look up to and adequate supervision are also key factors to encourage a child to pursue certain goals, she points out.

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Working mums healthier than stay-at-home peers

Working moms are less likely to be depressed and are healthier and happier compared to their counterparts, who prefer to stay at home when their kids are very young, a new study has suggested.

Researchers analysed National Institute for Child Health and Human Development Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development data, beginning in 1991 with interviews of 1,364 mothers shortly after their child's birth and including subsequent interviews and observations spanning more than 10 years.

"In all cases with significant differences in maternal well-being, such as conflict between work and family or parenting, the comparison favoured part-time work over full-time or not working," said lead author Cheryl Buehler, PhD, professor of human development and family studies, at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.

"However, in many cases the well-being of moms working part time was no different from moms working full time."

For example, mothers employed part time reported better overall health and fewer symptoms of depression than stay-at-home moms, while there were no reported differences in general health or depressive symptoms between moms employed part time and those who worked full time, the study said.

The part-time and full-time working moms also showed no significant differences when it came to the women's perception that their employment supported family life, including their ability to be a better parent.

The analysis found that mothers employed part time were just as involved in their child's school as stay-at-home moms, and more involved than moms who worked full time. In addition, mothers working part time appeared more sensitive with their pre-school children and they provided more learning opportunities for toddlers than stay-at-home moms and moms working full time.

Particularly in tough economic times, employers looking for cost savings hire part-time employees because they typically do not receive the same level of benefits, such as health insurance, training and career advancement, the authors pointed out.

"Since part-time work seems to contribute to the strength and well-being of families, it would be beneficial to employers if they provide fringe benefits, at least proportionally, to part-time employees as well as offer them career ladders through training and promotion," said study co-author Marion O'Brien, PhD, professor of human development and family studies, also of the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.

Mothers who participated in the study were from 10 locations across the U.S., and included 24 per cent ethnic minorities, 1 per cent without a high school degree, and 14 per cent single parents. The number of mothers employed part time was fairly consistent at about 25 per cent of the total over the span of the study, although mothers moved in and out of part-time work. Part-time employment was defined as between one and 32 hours per week.

The study has been recently published in APA's Journal of Family Psychology.

Tips for strong and healthy nails

Tips for brittle nails by beauty expert Shahnaz Husain

Hands and nails come in contact with soaps and detergents daily, when we do our daily chores. These play havoc, not only on the skin, but also the nails, making them rough, dry and brittle, causing them to chip and break easily. Here are a few tips to protect your hands and nails.

- Wear rubber gloves for your washing chores

- Massage cream on the hands and nails daily, especially after using detergents and soaps. Put cream on each nail and massage the nail and the skin surrounding it, using circular strokes with your thumb. Daily massage is even more important during the dry season, to prevent brittleness and to restore the health of your nails.

- Pour a cup of warm milk into a bowl. Soak your hands in it for five minutes to strengthen nails and soften the skin.

- Avoid using very hot water to soak your hands, as this can cause dryness of the skin and nails.

- If you have brittle nails, avoid frosted nail varnish

- For brittle nails include adequate protein and calcium in your diet. Include skimmed milk, yoghurt, cottage cheese, fish and sprouts in your diet

- Follow a ten-day programme of taking gelatin. Dissolve one teaspoon gelatin in a little boiling water. Cool the water and add it to fruit juice. Have this daily for ten days.

Eat these good carbs for better energy

Carbohydrates are present in practically everything we eat. There are essentially two kinds of carbs, simple and complex and when it comes to optimal weight and energy management, the simple carbohydrates aren't as beneficial as the complex carbs.

The complex carbs are 'good' for energy and weight control, because they contain longer chains of sugar molecules and take more time to digest - therefore, keeping us full for longer. Today we're telling you what these 'good' carbs are and how they can be a part of your daily diet.

What is an energy food? To perform daily activities our body needs a continuous input of energy. When you eat a carbohydrate rich food, your body converts it to glucogen. After this stage it is either used in providing a steady dose of blood sugar or stored in the muscles for later use. Simple carbs provide an instant dose of energy, by pumping up the blood sugar levels in spikes. This dissipates as quickly as it happens. Complex carbs or energy rich foods, are sources of sustained energy which lasts longer and is used by your body when needed the most.

Whole grains are good for energy! Eating whole grains instead of refined processed grains, is known to reduce cholesterol, triglycerides and insulin levels. The fiber in the grains helps prevent constipation which is a fast growing lifestyle disease. Oats, oats bran, brown rice, whole grain breads are a few examples. Pastas and macaroni made out of whole grains are suggested as well.

Pick a fruit instead of the juice! Juices miss the vital edible skin and the pulp part of the fruit, and therefore are reduced in fiber content. The sugar content in the whole fruit is lesser than the content in the juice. 120 calories of whole apples have about 24 grams of sugar, while similar calorie content of juice has about 30 grams. Juices are a good replacement for aerated drinks, but not for a whole fruit. When you have a choice, pick the whole fruit.

Beans: These are a good source of slowly digested carbs, hence a good source of energy. Kidney beans, black beans, peas, garbanzo beans, soy beans and pinto beans, can all be included in healthy and tasty meals. Rajma or red kidney beans with brown rice, instead of white, gives the traditional favorite a healthier twist.

Legumes: Legumes or pulses have always known to be a rich protein source. Legumes provide a much needed dose of complex carbs to the body giving energy that is stored in the muscles and liver for a later time. Any dal minus the oily tadka is as healthy as it can get! However, do keep in mind that legumes aren't complete proteins, and therefore cannot be your only source of protein in the day. Eat these to capitalise on their complex carb charectaristics.

Eat your greens! Green vegetables, or the greens as they are known, contain minerals, multiple vitamins, are low on fat and also have large water content. Most varieties are complex carbs but the best sources are broccoli, cauliflower, spinach all types of lettuce, celery, cucumbers, cabbage. Green veggies are a certain go with good carbs.

And don't forget the whites: Soy milk is made from soy beans and is a good complex carb source. Dairy products like low-fat yogurt and skimmed milk are also efficient energy resources. Along with this, milk is a known source of calcium content without the added fat, In addition to calcium, milk also provides other essential nutrients like potassium, magnesium, riboflavin, phosphorus and vitamins D, A and B12.

Happy Deepawali

Dog is no longer man's best friend!

Times of India,  Melissa D'costa

With the advent of tablet PCs and digital newspapers, you don't even need your faithful dog to fetch your morning paper for you anymore.
According to the findings of a new UK study, around 67 per cent of the people polled believed that their PC or other gadget had replaced the dog as their faithful companion. Sheena Thomas, a working professional who is married to a software technician, claims the findings of the study mirror what's happening in her life, "My husband and I cannot have kids. Our pet dog Ginger became a replacement for that void in our lives. However, my husband's addiction to the internet changed that. He started neglecting us; he had no time to attend to our dog's needs or mine." So, is this the end of the road for man's original best friend?
"It definitely looks that way," says clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany, adding, "Human beings have become slaves to technology and gadgets. Smart phones, laptops, XBoxes and Playstations are just some of the many gadgets that have become an integral part of their lives. Addiction to gadgets is on the rise; so much so that people feel incomplete or lost without them."

Dr Kurien S Thomas, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, counsellor and wellness therapist adds, "I think more than the PC or laptop, it's cellphones that have become man's new best friends. People feel handicapped without their cellphone. I remember dealing with a patient who had come to me for counselling but forgot his cellphone at home. He was so restless during my interaction with him. He only settled down once he got his cellphone back. One of the main reasons for this kind of dependence on gadgets is that we can carry them with us 24/7, while there are restrictions on where we can take our pets. These are not applicable to our gadgets. Besides they are low maintenance and keep us occupied and entertained."
Even though it looks like the ever-faithful dog is taking a backseat, they still have a role to play in our lives and no gadget or gizmo can replace them believes Dr Hitesh Swali. The vet comes down heavily on the study, slamming it saying, "This poll ignores the fact that you simply can't compare an inanimate object to a pet. A computer and a dog can never be compared because you cannot receive love or affection from a gadget. You can't replace a pet with a gizmo. While I don't deny that some people are so pre-occupied with gadgets that they don't have time for a pet, that does not mean that people will stop keeping one or that they have been replaced by a gadget simply because they are two different entities that serve very different needs."

How to make sure your kid eats healthy

Source: Times of India - Rejuvenate

After a shocking report yesterday on how more and more urban Indians are becoming obese, here’s some good news. School children are starting to get conscious about eating healthy. With principals, teachers and parents increasingly becoming worried about the rise in obesity among children, they are not only looking into what’s being served in the canteen and brought in tiffins, but also bringing on board dieticians and nutritionists. Here are some tips to make sure that your child eats right.

Healthy proteins: Growing children need protein. Dairy products (milk, curd, paneer etc), dals and pulses should be a part of their daily diet. For non-vegetarians, chicken and fish is advised, but not red meat. At snack time, give them a sandwich made of brown bread with cottage cheese, tofu or chicken.

Essential nutrients: Fresh fruits and vegetables are very important as they provide essential vitamins and minerals. A good way to ensure your child eats vegetables is by making yummy, vegetable soups for him. They are low in fat, yet nutritious. You could make sure he eats enough fruit by cutting up fruits and adding them to his morning cereal.

Go nuts: Children should regularly consume small amounts of dates and nuts, like almonds and walnuts. Though high in calories, they build immunity. Tip: Throw in a couple of almonds or a few dates into a fruit smoothie.

Start early: Children should be told the ill effects of consuming junk food. There should be restrictions on food sold in school canteens. You could make suggestions about what kind of food should be served during the next PTA meet. And if your child’s school agrees, you could also suggest that they get a nutritionist or dietician on board.

All work and no play: Schools and parents should emphasise sports and a healthy diet. Encourage your child to play a sport of their choice everyday. It could be anything from basketball to swimming, cycling or cricket. This ensures that they get their daily dose of cardio.

Top 10 hygiene tips to keep diseases at bay

Source: Times of India - Rejuvenate

Sweaty women in the train, slimy railings on overhead bridges, dirty auto-rickshaw seat covers, etc. Living in a big city means that you come into contact with several germs and bacteria, which are responsible for common ailments like cold and cough.

Dr Sujata Iyer, a general practitioner, says, "A lot of these germs have the potential to cause serious illnesses such as jaundice or tuberculosis too."

Here are some hygiene tips that you need to bear in mind if you live in a big city.

1. Wash your hands every time you come indoors.
If you use public transport, chances are that you have come into contact with surfaces that were touched by several other people. Make sure that you wash your hands with soap.

2. Wash your socks.
This is important not only for your personal health but it is also in general public interest. As you move around, your socks accumulate a lot of dust and bacteria.

3. Don't rub your eyes.
Rubbing your eyes with contaminated hands can transfer a lot of germs into them and cause eye infections.

4. Use a hand sanitiser.
For times when you can't wash your hands, carry a hand sanitising lotion with you. This becomes particularly important when you have to eat out in the middle of the day.

5. Carry tissues when commuting.
Tissues are better than cloth handkerchiefs as the latter accumulate germs on them, leading to infections. Therefore, carrying wet tissues is a better idea as they are disposable.

6. Avoid touching your hair.
The hair is one of the most exposed areas of the body. Avoid touching your hair to prevent transferring those germs on to your hands.

7. Use a deodorant.
Most people travelling by public transport stink, but that's no reason for you to join the club. A deodorant will also allow you to reduce the chance of bacteria breeding on your skin.

8. Treat skin infections in time.
Skin infections, if ignored, tend to aggravate and spread all over the body.

9. Clean your hands after playing with pets.
While playing with pets and strays is nice, they carry germs. Make sure to wash your hands before you sit down to eat your meal.  

10. Get immunised.
In big cites with lots of people, you don't know what surface carries what infection. Get yourself immunised against some common infections such as tetanus.

These basic hygiene tips will ensure that you stay safe from the common ailments that affect people in a city. 

10 Things a woman should know

Source: Times of India

We list 10 things every woman should know.

1. Calling you does not mean we are hitting on you
Most men are left wondering that why's it that just because he called you, you assumed he wants you to fill in the post of his girlfriend. He may actually just want to hang out with you.

2. You are much prettier without all that makeup
Your basic foundation and kajal is fine, but layers upon layers of makeup only makes you unappealing to your guy. So keep it simple.

3. When you act giggly, it's seriously embarrassing
When you spot your gang of girls while you are out with your boyfriend, don't squeal and go giggly or jump up and down. Most men find it extremely childish.

4. Gossiping, whispering and writing notes makes you look shallow
When you pass notes or whisper when you and your friends are sitting at a table along with others makes it seem like you are still in your classroom.

5. Boys worry about what you think of their hair, skin, weight and clothes
Do tell your boyfriend if you think his new haircut makes him look cute or if his favourite T-shirt needs to be done away with.

6. PMS is no excuse to be mean
Yes, men do understand that every month you are likely to get crabby for a few days, but that's not reason enough to be mean and cranky all the time.

7. Talking about your butt is boring
It's a known fact that no boyfriend - who doesn't want to be dumped - will ever tell his girfriend that she is looking fat. So no in point discussing, arguing and then discussing some more, about weight issues with your boyfriend.

8. Tight clothes make you look sort of desperate and insecure
You may be in shape but anything that amounts to too much skin show is not going to be appreciated by your boyfriend. Don't keep showing how desperate you are. It can be a big put off if the guy is serious about you.

9. Most boys are looking for the right girl
It's not just women who are looking for Mr Right, but boys are looking out for their Miss Perfect too. So don't be scared to play the love game.

10. If you like him, just tell him
Don't pretend to ignore him and then cry when he asks another girl out for dinner. If he's interested in you, and if you feel the same way then respond. Don't keep the guy waiting too long.

Avoid premature aging

Source: Times of India

Let's face it. We're all going to age at some point or another. However, the lifestyle that most of us lead cause people to age prematurely. We tell you how to avoid that ...

With a wide range of anti-aging products coming out now, it makes you wonder if they really work wonders as they claim to. The best way then is to prevent premature aging by maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Here's what you can do to avoid premature aging:

Snooze
Yes. You may have heard innumerable benefits of sleeping, and here's one more. Sleeping for seven to eight hours is essential. It has been proven that a good night's sleep can reduce the rate of aging by repairing cell damage. But sleeping for long hours is not the only thing you can do in bed. You might have noticed that you sleep in the same position every night - the position your body feels most comfortable in. However, this greatly increases your chances of getting face wrinkles. The part of your face, which is resting against the pillow will be likely to form wrinkles over time. Try sleeping on your back - even if its uncomfortable in the beginning, you'll get used to it.

Drink up
We mean water. Drink plenty of water to adequately hydrate your body. Stick to water and avoid juices, coffee, tea, cocktails or other beverages. Water alone is the best and most vital beverage you need. It will also help to remove toxic substances from your body, which otherwise target the skin cells. Dehydration can lead to premature wrinkles and dull looking skin.

Take care of your skin
Protect your skin when you're out in the sun. Wear a cap and sunglasses to protect your head and eyes and slather on that sunscreen. Over exposure to the sun leads to formation of wrinkles. Use good moisturiser on your skin. Thick creams are best for the night while lotions work well during the day. Apply almond oils because it helps the skin keep its elasticity and also promotes cell renewal.

Eat right
Make sure to include fruits and vegetables in your daily diet. Stop making excuses that you don't like their taste - there are plenty of delicious ways to make even the most mundane veggies taste yum. Learn the recipes! Fruits and vegetables have a natural water content that helps in preventing dehydration besides being high on several vitamins and antioxidants that play a key role in neutralising free radicals. Free radicals are compounds that attack the body's cells, causing skin damage. Eating six to eight servings of fruits or vegetables will help you maintain your youthful glow.

Quit smoking
No one likes to stand or sit next to a person who reeks of cigarette smoke. Along with the other ill-effects of smoking like cancer, smoking is also bad for your skin. It restricts blood flow to the skin making your complexion dull, and causes wrinkles and fine lines. Kick the habit!

Chocolate healthier than fruit juices

Source: Mayo Clinic

Chocolate is healthier than many fruit juices and is a 'superfood' in its own right, says a new study conducted by a US-based chocolate company.

Superfoods are high in anti-oxidants and compounds that help prevent damage to healthy cells.

Researchers from the Hershey Centre for Health & Nutrition in the US found that powdered dark chocolate had more anti-oxidants and polyphenols, believed to protect us from cancer and cardiac conditions, the Chemistry Central Journal reports.

They compared single servings of dark chocolate, cocoa, and hot chocolate mix with fruit juices including acai berries, cranberries and pomegranates, according to a Hershey statement.

The research showed that both dark chocolate and cocoa had more antioxidant activity and more flavonols than fruit. Debra Millar, who led the study, said chocolate should be labelled a "superfruit".

Is your woman faking it in bed?

Source: Times of India

Dr Suman Bijlani lists women's common sexual concerns and what they mean for men

Wonder why your wife/girlfriend seems "off sex" of late? Why does she complain of a headache just when you are in the mood? Fact is, as with men, sex is a big issue for women too. Only, due to conditioning or lack of awareness, most women don't articulate them.

Generally, women realise they have sexual problems only when:
» It affects their relationship
» Their partner starts complaining
» When they are depressed
» When they themselves get involved in an extra-marital affair.

Also, the nature of problems differs slightly with age.

Younger women:
Sexual problems relate more to body image issues and 'performance anxiety'. Especially if they feel sex is the only way they can hold on to their relationship.

Older women:
Sex boils down to a chore or duty after years of marriage/relationship. It then manifests in pains, aches, lack of orgasm and other physical symptoms.

The bottomline:
Don't blame your dull sex life on her PMS or mood swings. Gynaecologist Dr Suman Bijlani of Gyneguide tells you how to read between the lines.

Problem: Lack of interest
Message: Foreplay continues throughout the day
A woman wants her man to make her feel special throughout the day. This sets up her mood for the special night. In a marriage, being interested in the house or taking care of the children is important. Conflicts with kids affects her relationship with her husband.
Hence make that special effort to show you care - through messages, gifts, a special outing etc.

Problem: Poor body image
Message: I want to feel beautiful when I'm with you
A woman might shy away from intercourse due to poor body image - a result of low self-esteem. If her partner nags her about her lack of perfection, it can affect her sexual confidence. It's foolhardy to say things like 'your hips are too wide' or 'breasts are too small' and later expect her to perform in bed. For a woman, the only solution is to work on herself as a person. Men get attracted by a woman's confidence.

Problem: Faking it
Message: Orgasm isn't everything
Men tend to focus only on orgasm, but often for a woman, great foreplay is enough. Hence, ensure she is happy with the quality of sex. If she fakes an orgasm, it means she isn't satisfied and doesn't trust you enough to tell you. Such a behaviour points to chinks in the relationship, hence work on them first.

Problem: Frequency issues
Message: I am no sex machine
Some men want sex every day, but with women, many other factors need to be in place. There is no ideal time or frequency for sex,but if the frequency of desire is very disparate, seek help. If a woman is stressed or has resentments towards her man, it reflects in lack of interest in sex.

Problem: Pain during sex
Message: Be considerate in bed
A common problem, painful intercourse can result from vaginal infection or if the partner is very aggressive. Pain is of two types. Superficial pain: which occurs at the time of insertion. Or deep pain: that's usually pathological or due to endometriosis or infections. This needs to be taken seriously. Using a lubricant or increasing foreplay can help.

Problem: Body odour
Message: Please be pleasant
Both men and women can suffer from fungal infections, tinea infection and similar problems that lead to body odour. To stimulate a woman's interest in sex, it is essential that the man maintains a pleasant personality and smells good as well. Taking the point further, he should make an effort to look good for his woman. It leads to a better response in bed.

Problem: Fear of pregnancy
Message: Take care of protection
It's often the fear of pregnancy that makes women shy away from sex. For good sex, it's important for both partners to be equally aware and responsible for contraception.

Menstrual cycle: What's normal, what's not

Source: Mayo Clinic

Your menstrual cycle can say a lot about your health. Understand how to start tracking your menstrual cycle and what to do about irregularities.

Do you know when your last menstrual period began or how long it lasted? If not, it might be time to start paying attention. Tracking your menstrual cycles can help you understand what's normal for you, time ovulation and identify important changes — such as a missed period or unpredictable menstrual bleeding. While menstrual cycle irregularities usually aren't serious, sometimes they can signal health problems.

What's the menstrual cycle?

The menstrual cycle is the monthly series of changes a woman's body goes through in preparation for the possibility of pregnancy. Each month, one of the ovaries releases an egg — a process called ovulation. At the same time, hormonal changes prepare the uterus for pregnancy. If ovulation takes place and the egg isn't fertilized, the lining of the uterus sheds through the vagina. This is a menstrual period.

What's normal?

The menstrual cycle, which is counted from the first day of one period to the first day of the next, isn't the same for every woman. Menstrual flow may occur every 21 to 35 days and last two to seven days. For the first few years after menstruation begins, long cycles are common. However, menstrual cycles tend to shorten and become more regular as you age. Your menstrual cycle may be regular — about the same length every month — or somewhat irregular, and your period may be light or heavy, painful or pain-free, long or short, and still be considered normal. Within a broad range, normal is what's normal for you.

How can I track my menstrual cycle?

To find out what's normal for you, start keeping a record of your menstrual cycle. Begin by tracking your start date every month for several months in a row to identify the regularity of your periods. If you're having problems or you're concerned about the timing, flow or discomfort of your periods, then also make note of the following every month:

·         End date. How long does your period typically last? Is it longer or shorter than usual?

·         Flow. Record the heaviness of your flow. Does it seem lighter or heavier than usual? How often do you need new sanitary protection?

·         Pain. Describe any pain associated with your period. Does the pain feel worse than usual?

What causes menstrual cycle irregularities?

Menstrual cycle irregularities can have many different causes, including:

·         Pregnancy or breast-feeding. A delayed or missed period can be an early sign of pregnancy. If you haven't had your period in six weeks and you've been sexually active, take a pregnancy test. Breast-feeding typically delays the return of menstruation following pregnancy.

·         Eating disorders, extreme weight loss or excessive exercising. Eating disorders — such as anorexia nervosa — extreme weight loss and increased physical activity can disrupt menstruation.

·         Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). This common hormonal disorder may cause small cysts — fluid-filled sacs or pockets — to develop in the ovaries along with irregular periods.

·         Premature ovarian failure. Premature ovarian failure refers to the loss of normal ovarian function before age 40. Women who have premature ovarian failure may not have periods or may get them irregularly.

·         Endometriosis. This disorder causes tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus to grow outside your uterus. Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period.

·         Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). This infection of the reproductive organs may cause irregular menstrual bleeding.

·         Uterine fibroids. Uterine fibroids are noncancerous growths of the uterus. They may cause heavy menstrual periods and bleeding between periods.

What can I do to prevent menstrual irregularities?

For some women, use of birth control pills can help regulate menstrual cycles. However, some menstrual irregularities can't be prevented. Regular pelvic exams can help ensure that problems affecting your reproductive organs are diagnosed as soon as possible.

In addition, consult your health care provider if:

·         Your periods suddenly stop for more than 90 days

·         Your periods become erratic after having been regular

·         You bleed for more than seven days

·         You bleed more heavily than usual — soaking through more than one pad or tampon every hour or two

·         Your periods are less than 21 days or more than 35 days apart

·         You bleed between periods

·         You develop severe pain during your period

·         You suddenly get a fever and feel sick after using tampons

Quit-smoking basics

Source: Mayo Clinic

Tobacco is a killer. Smokers and other tobacco users are more likely to develop disease and die earlier than are people who don't use tobacco. If you smoke, you may worry about what it's doing to your health. You probably worry too about how hard it might be to quit smoking. Nicotine is highly addictive, and to quit smoking — especially without help — can be difficult. In fact, most people don't succeed the first time they try to quit smoking. It may take more than one try, but you can stop smoking.

Take that first step: Decide to quit smoking. Set a stop date. And then take advantage of the multitude of resources available to help you successfully quit smoking.

Now that you've decided to quit smoking, it's time to map out your quit-smoking action plan. One of the first steps of your quit-smoking action plan should be "Get support."

Support can come from family, friends, your doctor, a counselor, a support group or a telephone quit line. Support can also come from use of one or more of the medications approved by the Food and Drug Administration for smoking cessation.

Another key step in your quit-smoking action plan? Planning for challenges. For example, make a list of high-risk places you'll want to avoid when you start your quit-smoking plan. Think of other places to go where smoking isn't allowed, such as a shopping mall, a museum or movie theater.

What does living smoke-free mean? Living smoke-free is your opportunity to live a healthier and probably longer life. By the end of your first year, your risk of heart attack decreases by half. By five years it's almost the same as someone who never smoked. Living smoke-free can also mean better quality of life — with more stamina and a better ability to appreciate tastes and smells.

But living smoke-free doesn't mean living stress-free. In fact, smokers often cite stress as a reason for relapsing. Instead of using nicotine to help cope with stress, you'll need to learn new ways to cope. Be proactive. You can find out more about stress management online or at the library. For more help, talk with your doctor or a mental health provider.

Relaxation Techniques you could try

Source: Times of India

Relaxation techniques can reduce stress symptoms and help you enjoy a better quality of life, especially if you have an illness. Explore relaxation techniques you can do by yourself.

Relaxation techniques are a great way to help with stress management. Relaxation isn't just about peace of mind or enjoying a hobby. Relaxation is a process that decreases the effects of stress on your mind and body. Relaxation techniques can help you cope with everyday stress and with stress related to various health problems, such as cancer and pain.

Whether your stress is spiraling out of control or you've already got it tamed, you can benefit from learning relaxation techniques. Learning basic relaxation techniques is easy. Relaxation techniques also are often free or low cost, pose little risk and can be done just about anywhere. Explore these simple relaxation techniques and get started on de-stressing your life and improving your health.

The benefits of relaxation techniques

When faced with numerous responsibilities and tasks or the demands of an illness, relaxation techniques may take a back seat in your life. But that means you might miss out on the health benefits of relaxation.

Practicing relaxation techniques can reduce stress symptoms by:

·         Slowing your heart rate

·         Lowering blood pressure

·         Slowing your breathing rate

·         Increasing blood flow to major muscles

·         Reducing muscle tension and chronic pain

·         Improving concentration

·         Reducing anger and frustration

·         Boosting confidence to handle problems

To get the most benefit, use relaxation techniques along with other positive coping methods, such as exercising, getting enough sleep, and reaching out to supportive family and friends.

Health professionals such as complementary and alternative medicine practitioners, doctors and psychotherapists can teach various relaxation techniques. But if you prefer, you also can learn some relaxation techniques on your own.

In general, relaxation techniques involve refocusing your attention on something calming and increasing awareness of your body. It doesn't matter which relaxation technique you choose. What matters is that you try to practice relaxation regularly to reap its benefits.

There are several main types of relaxation techniques, including:

·         Autogenic relaxation. Autogenic means something that comes from within you. In this relaxation technique, you use both visual imagery and body awareness to reduce stress. You repeat words or suggestions in your mind to relax and reduce muscle tension. For example, you may imagine a peaceful setting and then focus on controlled, relaxing breathing, slowing your heart rate, or feeling different physical sensations, such as relaxing each arm or leg one by one.

·         Progressive muscle relaxation. In this relaxation technique, you focus on slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle group. This helps you focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation. You become more aware of physical sensations. One method of progressive muscle relaxation is to start by tensing and relaxing the muscles in your toes and progressively working your way up to your neck and head. You can also start with your head and neck and work down to your toes. Tense your muscles for at least five seconds and then relax for 30 seconds, and repeat.

·         Visualization. In this relaxation technique, you form mental images to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation. During visualization, try to use as many senses as you can, including smell, sight, sound and touch. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, for instance, think about such things as the smell of salt water, the sound of crashing waves and the warmth of the sun on your body. You may want to close your eyes, sit in a quiet spot and loosen any tight clothing.

Other common relaxation techniques include:

Hypnosis              Massage               Meditation            Tai chi          Yoga

Relaxation techniques take practice

As you learn relaxation techniques, you'll become more aware of muscle tension and other physical sensations of stress. Once you know what the stress response feels like, you can make a conscious effort to practice a relaxation technique the moment you start to feel stress symptoms. This can prevent stress from spiraling out of control.

Remember that relaxation techniques are skills. And as with any skill, your ability to relax improves with practice. Be patient with yourself — don't let your effort to practice relaxation techniques become yet another stressor. If one relaxation technique doesn't work for you, try another. If none of your efforts at stress reduction seem to work, talk to your doctor about other options.

Also, bear in mind that some people, especially those with serious psychological issues and a history of abuse, may experience feelings of emotional discomfort during some relaxation techniques. Although this is rare, if you experience emotional discomfort during relaxation techniques, stop what you're doing and consider talking to your health care professional or mental health provider.

Control anger before anger controls You

- Dr. Kurien S. Thomas, Effective Living Clinic, Vashi, Navi Mumbai - Rejuvenate

"A man was polishing his new car; his 4 year old son picked up a stone & scratched on the side of the car. In anger, the furious Man took his child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.When the child saw his father....with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to the car and kicked it many times. Devastated by his own actions... sitting in front of the car he looked at the scratches, His son had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'. It is said, Anger and Love have no limits...Always remember..... "Things are to be used and people are to be loved" but the problem in today's world is.... "People are being USED & Things are being LOVED."In today’s world we are always being judged / scanned / criticized by one and all; at home, at school, at college, at place of work and at all places that we go.Competitions and performance are over –rated. Televisions, internet and other media have been set on high search and follow mode. People today follow others not according to their taste, but by fame, prosperity etc. of others. The result …. They end up with unsatisfactory taste buds in life. This triggers their stress and stress in turn makes them immobile towards anticipated success thus anger triggers in the individual. Who does not get angry? The answer is everybody does? Every human does because that is his/her way of expression on anxiety or dissatisfaction.Anger has many dimensions to it. Some think an angry tone displays maturity. Some feel an angry expression can bring fear; that is the best mode to bring discipline. Some feel angry words can bring hope. Parents get angry due to anxiety. Some Anger has love in it. But only wise men can recognize the element of love in anger.I read about a 19 year old boy who ran away from his house 3 times. The reason; his mother did not buy a motorbike for him. The anxiety that a parent holds while the child rides the bike is unexplainable. Parents got their right to worry and that worry is translated into anxiety and the anxiety is expressed in anger.Marriages are today held is such a way that parents got no say in the lives of their child. We have a notion with us that we know everything and we can deal with it. That is our side of the story. We do give pre-marital counseling to the to-be-bride & the groom where a detailed study is conducted considering the likes & dislikes a crispy consultation is tabled before the to-be couple. In my personal suggestion the entire family if possible must be given counseling. If not possible as an entire family at least the parents of the bride and the groom must also be facilitated with this unique service. There may be contradictions to my say but let me say that many times due to lack of proper understanding, family issues pop up in no seconds. A gulf is bridged in the family. It would look like a torn bedspread when spread on the bed. The charm is gone. Many families today live like strangers under one roof. The newly wed does not interact with the parents or very limited. Or the parents do not interact with the newly wed. Sibling rivalry, the list goes endless… The reason is perhaps small issues which are concreted so well perhaps stronger than a RCC slab. Sometimes it would be stronger when compared to concreted roads. This is stress in the family-relationships. Concern for each other brings understanding and that understanding is real love.The other day I had written on stress during exams and tips to combat it. Stress to some extend is good but when it goes beyond boundaries of tolerance it turns out to be negative. Similarly, expression of anger to an extend is wise beyond that limit is evil sometimes even destructive.A short advice to the newly married or all those in the wedlock Don’t go to bed angry at each other. It will only get worse in the morning. Young husbands & wives sometimes think that their spouse will “get over it” with a good night’s sleep. Take it from one who knows? It doesn’t work. If you don’t solve your problems, both of you will not sleep well and both will have a bad morning when you do wake up.

Quick tips to control anger before anger controls us

Get out of the situation or place where you are when you got angry•

Try to stop the discussion at once and try to think will it benefit you in any way•

Try to channelize the energy in you to do some activities like cleaning, walking, writing down the causes of that particular situation•

Try to analyse which kind of conversation was responsible to trigger anger in you, rather learn to act tactful in similar situations ahead• Try to think of something else that could calm down your anger (about your family, loved ones etc.)•

Try deep breath –inhale/exhale at least 8 times•

Try to listen to some soothing music.•

Still angry… take a pillow; punch it till your anger wades out.You would emerge stronger when you learn the art to control your anger. Remember, it is human to have anger. It is what you do with it that counts!

Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, very slow to anger.

Dr. Kurien S. Thomas is a certified & qualified Clinical  Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Counsellor, Life Coach, Registered Medical Practitioner in Alternative Medicines & YogaTherapist. He has completed M.S, M.D (Doctor of Medicine in Alternative Medicines), certified & qualified Yoga Therapist from University of Mumbai, Founder and Executive Director of EFFECTIVE LIVING CLINIC and creator of K Yoga Therapy. He is registered with Indian Board of Alternative Medicines, which is recognized by the W.H.O (World Health Organisation) and U.N (United Nations).