Learn to lead

In today's challenging times, learning to lead is one of the most important skills. Unnati Narang tells you three simple steps required to become a true leader

Leaders are not born, but made. In that sense, leadership is something one is honed into and not inherently blessed with. It comes with years of experience gained from working in teams, continuous self-analysis, understanding what one is good at and how those good qualities can shine through and rub into inspiring others. Such a model of charismatic leadership is not built in one night. It comes from perseverance and investment in the self.

Experience
Developing leadership skills is easier said than done. It is not a matter of two days of classroom training, or watching an inspiring leadershiprelated movie. It comes from practice, practice and practice. Leadership is an experience, or a culmination of learning through a set of experiences. Dhimant Parekh, founder, The Better India, completed his MBA (Strategy, Leadership and IT) from ISB Hyderabad in 2006. Sharing his learning experience, he says, "At ISB, the diversity is very varied. When you actually meet people from all ages and backgrounds, you quickly learn to adapt. In one year, you're thrown into diverse study groups; it just teaches you how to rally your team. When you are back at work with a fresh leadership perspective, you know how to find a common thread running through various ambitions, needs and mindsets. I worked for five years before joining ISB and could actually appreciate these complexities and possible clashes between your work objectives and the team objectives. In contrast, short-term training programmes are effective only for a short span of time."

Observe
So how should one go about developing leadership skills when it's largely about experiences? "Learn from observation," advises Mohammad Nibras PK, HR head and Qualitative Research head, LeadCap Knowledge Solutions and founding trustee, LeadCap Trust. "Some of the leadership lessons are best learnt from children. Look at children learning new things and it observe that they normally follow a pattern of imitation to start with.

They imitate the actions, language, emotions, etc of the people they come across on a daily basis; the initial level of following others' actions would continue till a point where they start discovering their own thought process, character and behaviour. Potential leaders can use the learning pattern of children to start their leadership journey by following the action manuals of other recognised leaders. The experiences of world leaders are easily available nowadays in the form of books, online, seminars, etc. Thus, to lead, first we need to follow the footsteps of other leaders and eventually discover our unique style of leadership in the journey."

Persevere
Individuals and organisations alike can build leadership over a sustained period of time. Dinesh V Divekar, Bangalore-based management and behavioural training consultant explains, "Leadership training for a couple of days in isolation does not work. Organisations should embark on a Leadership Development Programme (LDP) instead, that lasts for a couple one-two years. Organisations should have a demarcating structure of the various stages of leadership. As the level increases, the requirements change and training contents should vary accordingly. Follow-up by senior managers should be built in."

To develop leadership skills, it is important to first recognise and understand what these leadership skills essentially consist of. "The term leadership has been very loosely used in varying contexts. Fundamentally, a leader is someone who leads, who influences others and inspires them. It could be a Steve Jobs known for inspiring innovation and creativity or a JRD Tata known for his strong vision.

Leaders empower others, they delegate work in a way that others shoulder responsibility and have the space to grow. The first step towards building leadership skills is to be open-minded, empathetic and to know your people to work with them. A leader should also know when to be a follower and learn from others," concludes Pratyush Pundir, partner, sales and operations at Four Forty Hertz Music LLP.

Five Ways to Say No to Alcohol during New Year eve

It can be difficult to say no to alcohol for anyone, but it is especially difficult for those who are quitting or cutting down on alcohol. You can avoid places where drinks are served, but eventually, you will be offered a drink by someone you don't want to explain your alcohol problem to. The best ways to say no are casual, polite responses to an offer, which provide an excuse that can't be argued with. Here are my five top phrases for refusing alcohol.

1. I'm Driving

This is the ultimate excuse. Some people who are quitting alcohol volunteer to be the designated driver for precisely this reason -- they want to spend time with friends, but don't want to drink. This response is also great role modelling for others, and adds to the climate of acceptability of staying sober behind the wheel. Anyone who pressurizes you to drink after you giving this response isn't worth listening to.

2. No Thanks, I've Just Finished One

What I like about this response is that is so lacking in value judgements about drinking that no-one can accuse you of being uptight or preachy. How you feel after a drink is an individual matter, and if you don't want another drink instantly, all it implies is good personal boundaries around your own comfort. It also shows you are not a compulsive drinker, and sets the tone for others to pace their drinking too. Yet the implication is that you might have had a drink if you felt like one, so this works well for the type of people who tease and berate those in recovery -- the kind of companions you may not want as friends, but are sometimes unavoidable in a social situation.

3. I've Had My Limit For Tonight

This is the best response if you regularly drink with the same people, want to control your drinking, and have set a limit based on your blood alcohol concentration. Others will learn over time that you will drink only a certain number of drinks within a certain amount of time, so they can enjoy sharing a drink with you within those limits. Controlled drinking is a goal for many people with alcohol problems.

4. I Want to Keep a Clear Head

Variations on this response are, "No thanks, I've got work tomorrow," "No thanks, I've got an early start in the morning," or "No thanks, I don't want a hangover." This is a great way of letting people know that alcohol does not rule your life, nor will you let it interfere with your day to day functioning. Keeping a clear head may not be important to all drinkers, but it should be to you.

5. I Don't Drink

This response take the most courage, and is the most subject to demands for an explanation. You may have to put up with being asked if you have a drink problem, you may have your masculinity or sense of fun challenged, or you may be informed that, "You can have one drink." But it is the all-round best response for anyone who is serious about recovery from alcoholism, or who wants to put an end to the nonsense of peer pressure to drink alcohol.

Knee pain

Knee pain is a common complaint that affects people of all ages. Knee pain may be the result of an injury, such as a ruptured ligament or torn cartilage. Medical conditions — including arthritis, gout and infections — also can cause knee pain.

Many types of minor knee pain respond well to self-care measures. Physical therapy and knee braces also can help relieve knee pain. In some cases, however, your knee may require surgical repair.

The location and severity of knee pain may vary, depending on the cause of the problem. Signs and symptoms that sometimes accompany knee pain include:

·         Swelling and stiffness

·         Redness and warmth to the touch

·         Weakness or instability

·         Popping or crunching noises

·         "Locking," or inability to fully straighten the knee

When to see a doctor
Call your doctor if you:

·         Can't bear weight on your knee

·         Have marked knee swelling

·         Are unable to fully extend or flex your knee

·         See an obvious deformity in your leg or knee

·         Have a fever, in addition to redness, pain and swelling in your knee

·         Fall because your knee "gives out"

Causes

Knee pain can be caused by injuries, mechanical problems, types of arthritis and other problems.

Injuries
A knee injury can affect any of the ligaments, tendons or fluid-filled sacs (bursae) that surround your knee joint as well as the bones, cartilage and ligaments that form the joint itself. Some of the more common knee injuries include:

·         ACL injury. An ACL injury is the tearing of the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) — one of four ligaments that connect your shinbone to your thighbone. An ACL injury is particularly common in people who play basketball or go downhill skiing, because it's linked to sudden changes in direction.

·         Torn meniscus. The meniscus is formed of tough, rubbery cartilage and acts as a shock absorber between your shinbone and thighbone. It can be torn if you suddenly twist your knee while bearing weight on it.

·         Knee bursitis. Some knee injuries cause inflammation in the bursae, the small sacs of fluid that cushion the outside of your knee joint so that tendons and ligaments glide smoothly over the joint.

·         Patellar tendinitis. Tendinitis is irritation and inflammation of one or more tendons — the thick, fibrous cords that attach muscles to bones. Runners, skiers and cyclists are prone to develop inflammation in the patellar tendon, which connects the quadriceps muscle on the front of the thigh to the shinbone.

Mechanical problems

·         Loose body. Sometimes injury or degeneration of bone or cartilage can cause a piece of bone or cartilage to break off and float in the joint space. This may not create any problems unless the loose body interferes with knee joint movement — the effect is something like a pencil caught in a door hinge.

·         Knee 'locking.' This can occur from a cartilage tear. When a portion of cartilage from the tear flips inside the knee joint, you may not be able to fully straighten your knee.

·         Dislocated kneecap. This occurs when the triangular bone (patella) that covers the front of your knee slips out of place, usually to the outside of your knee. You'll be able to see the dislocation, and your kneecap is likely to move excessively from side to side.

·         Hip or foot pain. If you have hip or foot pain, you may change the way you walk to spare these painful joints. But this altered gait can interfere with the alignment of your kneecap and place more stress on your knee joint. In some cases, problems in the hip or foot can refer pain to the knee.

Types of arthritis

·         Osteoarthritis. Sometimes called degenerative arthritis, osteoarthritis is the most common type of arthritis. It's a wear-and-tear condition that occurs when the cartilage in your knee deteriorates with use and age.

·         Rheumatoid arthritis. The most debilitating form of arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune condition that can affect almost any joint in your body, including your knees. Although rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic disease, it tends to vary in severity and may even come and go.

·         Gout. This type of arthritis occurs when uric acid crystals build up in the joint. While gout most commonly affects the big toe, it can also occur in the knee.

·         Pseudogout. Often mistaken for gout, pseudogout is caused by calcium pyrophosphate crystals that develop in the joint fluid. Knees are the most common joint affected by pseudogout.

·         Septic arthritis. Sometimes your knee joint can become infected, leading to swelling, pain and redness. There's usually no trauma before the onset of pain. Septic arthritis often occurs with a fever.

Other problems

·         Iliotibial band syndrome. This occurs when the ligament that extends from the outside of your pelvic bone to the outside of your tibia (iliotibial band) becomes so tight that it rubs against the outer portion of your femur. Distance runners are especially susceptible to iliotibial band syndrome.

·         Chondromalacia patellae (patellofemoral pain syndrome). This is a general term that refers to pain arising between your patella and the underlying thighbone (femur). It's common in young adults, especially those who have a slight misalignment of the kneecap; in athletes; and in older adults, who usually develop the condition as a result of arthritis of the kneecap.

·         Osgood-Schlatter disease. This condition affects the softer area of bone near the top of the shinbone, where bone growth occurs. It's most common in boys who play games or sports that involve running or jumping. The discomfort can last a few months and may continue to recur until the child's bones stop growing.

·         Osteochondritis dissecans. Caused by reduced blood flow to the end of a bone, osteochondritis dissecans is a joint condition in which a piece of cartilage, along with a thin layer of the bone beneath it, comes loose from the end of a bone. It occurs most often in young men, particularly after an injury to the knee.

Risk Factors

A number of factors can increase your risk of having knee problems, including:

·         Age. Certain types of knee problems are more common in young people — Osgood-Schlatter disease and patellar tendinitis, for example. Others, such as osteoarthritis, gout and pseudogout, tend to affect older adults.

·         Sex. Teenage girls are more likely than are boys to experience an ACL tear or a dislocated kneecap. Boys, on the other hand, are at greater risk of Osgood-Schlatter disease and patellar tendinitis than girls are.

·         Excess weight. Being overweight or obese increases stress on your knee joints, even during ordinary activities such as walking or going up and down stairs. It also puts you at increased risk of osteoarthritis by accelerating the breakdown of joint cartilage.

·         Mechanical problems. Certain structural abnormalities, such as having one leg shorter than the other, misaligned knees and even flat feet, can make you more prone to knee problems.

·         Lack of muscle flexibility or strength. A lack of strength and flexibility are among the leading causes of knee injuries. Tight or weak muscles offer less support for your knee because they don't absorb enough of the stress exerted on the joint.

·         Certain sports. Some sports put greater stress on your knees than do others. Alpine skiing with its sharp twists and turns and potential for falls, basketball's jumps and pivots, and the repeated pounding your knees take when you run or jog all increase your risk of knee injury.

·         Previous injury. Having a previous knee injury makes it more likely that you'll injure your knee again.

Complication

Not all knee pain is serious. But some knee injuries and medical conditions, such as osteoarthritis, can lead to increasing pain, joint damage and even disability if left untreated. And having a knee injury — even a minor one — makes it more likely that you'll have similar injuries in the future.

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

How does addiction affect children

The various addictions people get into, such as alcohol, smoking, drugs including marijuana use, affects children the most. The whole family suffers due to one person's addiction, but the effects of this become quite pronounced in growing up children. These children have to deal with chaos and an unpredictable situation at home, which could lead to problems in their own life in future.

Many researchers are delving into the lives of addicts to study the effects of their addiction on their innocent children, and how it impacts them when they grow up.

How Addiction Affects Children in the Future

Children who have an addicted parent, usually are at an increased risk of the following:

·         Learning Difficulties

·         Physical Illness

·         Mental Illness

·         Abuse

·         Neglect

The Effects in the Behavior of Such Children

The possible ill effects the children of an addicted parent face are:

·         Disruption of a Normal Family Life: The family life of an addict is bound to be far from a normal life. The children of such households will be witness to domestic violence, physical and sexual abuse, depression, mental illness, divorce, etc. There is every likelihood for these children to develop depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies. Most of the time, they carry these tendencies outside of their home and find it difficult to connect to their peers. They become withdrawn, secretive, shy away from making friends, so that they can avoid situations where their friends will know about the affairs at home or witness it.

·         Feeling of Neglect: Most of the time, with one addicted parent, both the parents will not be able to give any attention to their children as they are trying to solve their own problems. This results in the child feeling neglected and this may lead to depression or other psychological problems.

·         Risk of Turning Addicts Themselves: The children of addicted parents are always exposed to the object of their parent's addiction (alcohol or drugs whatever may be the case). Therefore, there is always a risk that the child too may try it out on the sly and get addicted to it in due course and may need rehabilitation.

·         Violent Streak: There is every chance of children developing a violent streak, as they may be constantly exposed to their parents' bickering or fights or being subjected to physical or mental abuse. This could lead to a situation where they land up in jail.

·         Misconstrued Value System: Children get their values from their parents. In the circumstance that they grow up, children are usually confused about what is right and what is wrong. When one of the parent is drinking (they say) to overcome stress or joblessness, children think that is the right behavior and behave exactly in the same fashion when they are faced with such a situation in future.

·         Lost Childhood: Sometimes, when the situation is so bad that the parents are least bothered about the basic necessities of the household, children are forced to go fetch for themselves. This way, they could become school dropouts and live without any structure. Sometimes, they become young adults by looking after their families. This way, they lose out on a regular childhood.

·         Low Self Esteem: In a household where one parent is under the influence of alcohol or drugs and very aggressive, children could become quite timid, scared, and lack self esteem. They will be scared of everyone and everything.

·         Lack of Trust: Since they grow up to be very secretive and shy away from friends, they neither trust anyone nor be trusted by others. This lack of trust will also reflect in their future relationships.

·         Guilt Feelings: Sometimes, when a small child is shouted at, he thinks the fault lies in him. This way, he will start blaming himself for whatever bad happens at home. This guilt feeling will come in the way of his future relationships.

·         People Pleasers: Since children of addicted parents are, most of the time, forced to please their parents, they could turn out to be people pleasers. They will try to please everyone around them, especially those in authority positions. Again, they lose their own identity in this way.

·         Their Future Relationships: Some children from such household may develop clingy behavior. For fear of losing their partner, they will go to any extent to keep the relationship going. On the other hand, some children, having seen so much of insecurity in their parent's lives, fear getting into any permanent relationships and sometimes show a tendency towards insecure relationships.

How to Tackle This Harsh Reality?

Children need a secure home to grow and flourish. Once you understand your addictions, try to take action in eradicating the habit. Once you have gotten rid of your habit, try to concentrate on your children's well being. The child may not exhibit very obvious signs of all the aggressive behaviors he has suffered, but take him to a psychologist see if anything needs to be done. May be put him in a rehab where he will slowly open up to the loving behaviors of the rehab authorities, and come back to the "mainstream" normal behaviors.

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

Begin your day with oats

Everybody needs to be health conscious today, because most of us face health risks due to various reasons like bad food habits, lack of exercise, stress, obesity, drinking alcohol , smoking, etc.

Being healthy begins by eating healthy. Most of us begin our day by having breakfast that is high in fat and calories, for eg. butter jam toast, cheese sandwiches, omelettes, sheera, vadas, dosas, etc. which is bad for the heart. You need to begin your day with a non-oily nutritious breakfast, for example, having oats. It's quick and easy to prepare, so you can't complain about not having the time to prepare breakfast. Here are some of the benefits of oats:

- Oats contain soluble fibre called beta glucan, which is known to help in reducing cholesterol by the blocking of re-absorption of cholesterol when it passes through the digestive system. Regularly having oats lowers the cholesterol levels in the body.

- Oats contains low levels of sodium. This reduces the risk of contracting high blood pressure and hypertension.

- The soluble fibre present in oats tends to slow down the digestion of carbohydrates, thereby reducing the spikes in the blood sugar levels, which in turn do not lead to unwanted urges to eat.

- Eating oats leaves one much fuller, therefore you tend to eat less. This is especially good for those trying to lose weight.

- Oats contains very less amount of fat and lesser calories. This makes it good for overall health.

- Being a good source of natural dietary fibre, oats are beneficial in curbing the problem of constipation.

- Oats are also known to contain compounds called phytochemicals that can reduce one's risk of cancer.

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

Do's and don'ts to get fit by 31st December

With the New Year just round the corner, everyone wants to look their best for the multiple upcoming parties.

If you've spent much time staring wistfully at that hot outfit you wished you could wear come 31st December, then look no further. Nutritionist Rekha Sharma, President of the Indian Dietetics Association helps us understand diet do's and don'ts in order to get fit by 31st December.

To be clear: Weight loss can never function in a healthy manner within just a couple of weeks. What we are looking at today is a simple plan to avoid extra weight gain, bloating, and eating habits that help you be the fittest you can currently be. A healthy, balanced diet combined with adequate exercise is a must for a toned body that looks great all year round. As tempting as a crash diet might appear, it will only work to your advantage in the short term and the few pounds that you lose by denying your body proper nutrition will result in you feeling completely drained of energy- something you clearly don't want while celebrating the New Year!

Diet Do's
- Eat small portions at regular intervals through the day.
- Picking the right food is the key especially in such a short time frame.
- The meal should contain food which is high in proteins and fiber such as egg white, whole pulses and beans, low fat milk and milk products, whole grains, oats, beans, broccoli, papaya, orange, guava etc.
- Excessive consumption of foods high in fat should be avoided.
- Choose cooking oils that are high in MUFA (mono-unsaturated fat) as these fatty acids control bad cholesterol. Oil such as canola is the right option as it is healthy for the heart and free from bad cholesterol.

Diet Don'ts
- Food containing fat should not be completely eliminated from the diet as there are good fats such as omega 3 and mono-unsaturated fats which our body needs more.
- Fasting and skipping meals should be avoided, as when this happens the body goes into a conservation mode and the basal metabolic rate (BMR) falls, which results in preservation of energy leading to no weight loss. On the other hand small frequent meals keep the BMR boosted and exercise further raises it, thus leading to the weight loss.

Break a sweat!
Having regulated the intake of food, it is important to break down the fats that are already in our body. The quickest way to do that is by following a regular workout regime. In order to shed the fat, you need to break into a sweat! You can do that by doing aerobic exercises like running, swimming, cycling or pretty much anything that increases your heart rate and keeps it up. Stomach crunches alone will not help you lose weight and will only tone the muscles.

Staying active through the day is also a great way to get some additional exercise. Simple things like taking the stairs instead of the elevator and walking a few extra steps everyday can keep you fitter than you think.

Effective Living Clinic

B-3/19, 0:1, Sector 3, Vashi

Navi Mumbai 400703

Tel: 9987223811 / 9969105310

www.effectivelivingclinic.com