Put your best face forward!

With the wedding season just around the corner, experts tell Zeenia F Baria how you can look your best

It's that time of the year - when you're inundated with invitations for wedding functions, parties and other social engagements. And while you decide what you're going to wear, you also need to take care of your hair, skin and make-up, more so, since the weather has slowly started to change.

Skin care

According to cosmetologist Dr Jamuna Pai, with changes in the weather, increasing pollution and stress levels, your skin is bound to bear the brunt. "Keeping this in mind, your skin care regime should change as per climatic changes. The most common skin problems this time of the year include dry and flaky skin, cracked lips and heels. Treat your skin well by-

Pamper your skin

-Treat chapped lips with a lip balm or petroleum jelly. You could also apply ghee, which locks in moisture. Never lick your lips to wet them, this causes them to dry out even more.

-An oil massage for the body will give your entire body a glow. Use any oil of your preference - olive, coconut or baby oil.

-Mix a moisturiser with your sunscreen and apply it on your face to avoid skin getting dry and flaky.

-Anti-oxidants and Vitamin C taken on a regular basis will help you achieve healthy and glowing skin.

-Drink sufficient water and have juices of deep coloured vegetables. This helps your skin remain fresh.

-Using a sunscreen at least twice a day is a must. Apply it on your face and on all exposed areas of your body.

-Oily skin can benefit from an orange face wash, a gel containing vitamin C, bio sulphur, aloe vera, turmeric, witch hazel and AHA. For dry skin, use a gentle face wash containing vitamin C, milk, soya, sulphur, and aloe vera.

-Use a hydrating herbal mask, (to which you can add cucumber or papaya), a fruit mask, pearl, seaweed or silver mask, to give a glow to your face.

Body care

Dermatologist Dr Bindu Sthalekar says that following a simple skin regimen goes a long way in looking picture perfect. "What you put in your mouth is as important as what you put on your face. Your inner glow will add to your outer glow. Hence, pay attention to both. Drinking enough water, getting adequate sleep, identifying your skin type and using appropraite products, following a skin care routine of cleansing, moisturising, using a sunscreen and exfoliating should be a part of your beauty regimen."

Diet Limit consumption of maida, sugar, colas and oily food to a minimum. These are empty calories, which can cause acne, hormonal imbalances, increase in facial hair and hairfall.

Hands, feet and nail care Use a soapless cleanser for your hands, apply sunscreen, soak your feet in warm water, apply a moisturiser on your feet and nails at night. Avoid using too much nail polish and remover - it results in a yellowish tinge.

You could also opt for treatments in a skin clinic. These include microdermabrasion, chemical peels and hydradermabrasion, which exfoliate skin, improves tone and texture, and reduces pigmentation. Exfoliation of the back is another popular technique, as are chemical peels for dark elbows and knees, cellulite treatment, laser hair removal, etc.

Make-up

This is the time of the year when most social events take place. As a result, some amount of make-up becomes a must. It is important that you take it all off, so as not to end up with breakouts, clogged pores and whiteheads.

-Be gentle while removing make-up around the eyes.

-Take off your make-up or the day's grime with a cleansing milk, which contains milk and honey, and gently exfoliate dry skin with a natural strawberry scrub which contains tiny granules.

Hair care

With the change in weather, you need to pay extra attention to your tresses. Trichologist Dr Apoorva Shah says, "The cold air of winter is more drying and less humid and, therefore more abusive than other times of the year. Since we spend lesser time in the sun, the natural highlights nature paints into our hair become less noticeable and hair loses its healthy shimmering look."

Washing: Hair requires limited amount of washing, enough to cleanse your hair of dirt. Be extra careful so that your natural hair oils are not depleted due to excessive washing.

Moisturise: Apply jaborandi hair oil thrice a week.

Stay hydrated: Ensure a minimum intake of 10 to 12 glasses of water daily.

Conditioning: For healthy hair, a normal conditioner should suffice or for the last rinse, coconut milk can be used. Curly hair tends to be drier than straight hair. Don't rinse out all your conditioner, or re-apply a very light coat after towel-drying. For oily air, apply conditioner to the ends to keep hair healthy and prevent frizziness.

Reduce static: Hair static is caused by a lack of hair moisture. Brush with natural instead of plastic bristles.

Hair do's and don'ts:

-Towel dry your hair

-Never brush it when it is wet. This is a good season to eat healthy hair foods like dates, methi, spinach, walnuts and bajra.

www.effectivelivingclinic.com

Ways to a Stress-Free Commute

1. Mind over matter: Accept your commute as part of your day so that you stop driving yourself crazy. If you are consistently running late, leave earlier for work to keep your blood pressure from rising. Perception is reality; use your mind to keep you sane.

2. Read a book: Since not everyone owns a laptop or carries one while travelling, you may want to carry a book with you. Nothing compares to reading a good book on your favourite subject, so why not do it? It will engross you and make for a great timepass as well. 

3. Start a conversation: Travel time is the perfect opportunity to meet new people and make friends. You you can start a conversation with the person seated next to you and see if it’s worth it.

4. Soothing fragrances: Perfumes and fragrances work great in de-stressing you and making you feel good. Scents like lavender help you fight migraines and sinus headaches that are becoming extremely common in our hectic lives. If you’re taking the road, scent your car with lavender, vanilla, or any other scent that comforts you or go chic with auto-aroma essential oil diffusers that plug into adaptor outlets.

5. Find your chant: A train or a bus is not like a school. You won’t be awarded to sit on that seat quietly for hours. You can stand up and stretch or try doing a few neck exercises to relieve the tension. Concentrate on your breathing to improve your overall health.

6. Stay in touch: If you don’t have network coverage problems, you can utilise your travelling time to either send an e-mail to your old pals whom you haven’t spoken to or maybe give them a call. They will surely appreciate your gesture.

7. Enjoy the view: When you feel stress levels rising, try to focus on something positive. Look for something natural to captive your imagination, for example the green trees or the blue sky. If your surroundings are beautiful, make sure you don’t miss them. Keep your windows rolled up and the air circulating.

8. Organise supplies: If you find yourself getting delayed, plummeting blood sugars can be a major cause of increased stress levels. Keep a supply of dried fruit, nuts, bottled water, or crackers just in case. You can also munch on these to eliminate the boredom from your journey.

9. Knitting and Crocheting: Socks, scarves, and even sweaters of simple pattern, are perfect to knit when travelling, as they don’t require much of a pattern. See to it that you are using the right materials in the right way to ensure that you are not a nuisance to your fellow travellers.

10. Take short naps: Studies have revealed that a power-nap is very refreshing for the body. If you’re travelling in a train, bus or a car and if the chair is comfortable enough, you may even sleep. Closing your eyes and relaxing for a while will give your eyes the much needed break .

11. Fun dos: If you’re a crossword enthusiast, your travel is the best time to play with words. It takes quite some time to solve a puzzle, crossword or sudoku which will make the distance seem shorter. You can also watch a movie or play a game on your cell phone. If you are fond of writing, pen down your thoughts or write a poem.

Raising Confident Daughters in a Changing World

Parents naturally want the best for their daughters: good friends, the wisdom to make good decisions, and strength to weather life’s storms. But much of the news about girls these days isn’t good. As teen years approach, many confident girls turn into sullen shells. Self-esteem plummets. Friends turn on each other. And the mysteries of social networking make everything scarier. What’s a parent to do?

This article provides perspective and advice to help parents raise confident daughters ready to thrive in today’s world.

Get to Know the Confidence Busters

For starters, parents can take time to understand what their daughters are going through. “One of the overriding messages for girls is that if they’re confident, they’re conceited,” says Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, director of the Eating Disorders Education and Prevention, McLean Hospital; clinical instructor, Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School. “Girls need to know that claiming their strengths doesn’t mean they’re stuck up,” she says.

Steiner-Adair sees girls’ confidence wane as they move from childhood into adolescence. When she asks girls what they want to be, fourth-grade girls cite careers such as a veterinarian or surgeon. By middle school, girls’ looks enter the picture. “Middle-school girls tell me, ‘I can’t be a surgeon, I don’t look the part,’” Steiner-Adair tells WebMD. “By 10^th grade, girls focus almost exclusively on looks. They tell me, ‘I want to be a size 2.’”

Show Concern -- Just Not Too Much

It’s a distressing picture, yet overly concerned parents can be as much harm as good. “Parents who believe low confidence is inevitable set their daughters up to expect less of themselves,” says Richard Lerner, PhD, the Bergstrom Chair and director of the Institute for Applied Research in Youth Development at Tufts University.

For many girls, puberty and the transition from elementary to middle school hit about the same time. “Just when they’re changing schools, changing peer groups, and facing higher academic demands, their bodies start changing too,” says Lerner. The result is a tremendous amount of stress all at once.  

Parents, especially moms, can help girls put the stress of this period in perspective by sharing their own stories and how they got through confusing or difficult times. When girls know that they’re not the first or only ones to struggle, and that things do get better, they often start to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Praise the Process

Well-intended efforts to boost your daughter’s self esteem can backfire, depending on what you say. Focusing praise on your daughter’s looks rather than her activities can reinforce the message that her appearance matters more than things she does.

Surprisingly, research shows that praising intelligence can also undermine a child’s confidence.  In one recent study, two groups of fifth graders received two different kinds of praise after taking an IQ test. Kids in one group were told, “Wow, that’s a good score. You must be really smart at this.” Kids in the other group were told, “Wow, that’s a good score. You must have worked really hard.”

Kids in both groups then had the opportunity to try a challenging task, with the promise they could learn from it. The kids in the “smart” group weren’t interested. The kids praised for their effort took it on. Not only that, the kids in the second group performed better over time, outpacing their “smart” peers on follow-up IQ tests. It appears that seeing intelligence as a fixed trait instills fear of failure that makes kids less able to handle setbacks.

Support Your Daughter Through the Tough Times

Your teen daughter may act like she doesn’t need you, but the opposite is true. Numerous studies show that parents’ structure, advice, and guidance play a pivotal role in teens’ sense of wellbeing and resilience.

Kathi Bacon watched her older daughter go through a surprisingly difficult time when she won the race for class president in her junior year. Rather than congratulate her, other kids stopped talking to her. “It was like her friends thought she didn’t need them anymore,” says Bacon. As a mother, Bacon supported her daughter as best she could. “It was hard on her. I saw her suffer deeply.”

Though the situation at school was unexpected and hurtful, Bacon’s daughter ran for class president again -- and won again -- the following year.

Foster Confidence-Building Communication

As your daughter gets older, she’ll likely encounter pressures she’s never faced before. “Parents usually want to step in when they see their daughter struggle,” says JoAnn Deak, PhD, a psychologist and author of Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Competent and Courageous Daughters.

But as your daughter gets older, intervening is often not possible or even healthy. Many of the girls Deak works with tell her, “Sometimes I just need to talk things through. My mom wants to fix everything.” Instead, Deak tells WebMD, parents should let their daughters know they can listen without lecturing or intervening.

Granted your hair may stand on end. What if your daughter tells you that someone has posted suggestive photos of her online, for instance?

“If she brings it up, she wants to talk with you about it,” says Deak. Instead of lecturing or getting upset, Deak suggests parents create room for conversation by asking non-judgmental questions, such as “tell me what happened.” This doesn’t mean taking a passive role. If your daughter is putting herself as risk, it’s time for you to step in as a parent. “Just do so in a way that lets her know she can always talk to you,” says Deak.

Keep Online Activities on Your Radar

Social networks like Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter can increase the divide between parents and kids. You may feel out of your element talking about it, but a large number of social interactions take place between teenagers online -- and the interactions are highly public.

The good news is, many teens are savvy about protecting their personal information online, more so than adults. Seventy-seven percent (77%) of teens restrict access to their online photos sometimes or most of the time, compared to only 58% of adults. Encourage this behavior in your daughter. You may even ask her to review your online presence and make sure you’re protecting your own privacy.

Still, the Internet raises the stakes for many kids. Conversations that used to take place in person or over the phone are now online for everyone to see. Keep the channels of communication open about online activities so your daughter knows she can come to you if things get too intense. If you suspect bullying behavior, ask your daughter to let you look at her site. You can contact the Web site administrator and report behavior you consider dangerous.

Share Your Daughter’s Passion

Every expert who talked with WebMD about raising confident daughters agreed that parents can make a profound connection with their daughters by paying attention to their interests. “Showing interest in your daughter’s passions sends the message that what she likes matters,” says Steiner-Adair.

Listen for the things that light your daughter up and let her be the expert in these areas. When she talks about things that matter to her, ask her to tell you more. You might learn something new.

Be In It for the Long Haul

Raising confident daughters is long-term process. Some days you may feel you’re doing great, other days you may feel adrift at sea. If so, you’re not alone. “The goal is to raise daughters who can handle whatever situation comes at them,” says Deak. “If there were a set recipe for this, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Dating Advice When Dating Men

Source: Dating Men Guide

The word ‘dating’ means ‘the act of engagement between two individuals’. Dating is a social activity in which couples, individuals, and groups communicate with each other to further continue their relationship. Dating also refers to the act in which two people come closer for romance and sexual coupling.

Dating advice for women are somewhat different from men. It would be better to acquaint yourself with these dating tips first before adventuring out on a date with a man.

General Dating Tips:

• Always look your best, as you could meet Mr. Right anywhere, anytime. Be simple, but elegant, as some men don’t like too much make-up. Dress smartly, in which you look thin with light lipstick. That can turn his head.
• Don’t reveal all of your secrets on the first date, as men like oracular women.
• If you meet a handsome person and from day one you start liking him, then don’t wait for him to come first.
• Don’t continue your relationship with men who show insecurity and possessiveness from the first date.
• If you desire a child in the future, don’t mention it on the first few dates.
• If you want to continue your relationship with him, then don’t dare criticize his mother.
• Don’t talk too much on the first few dates just to impress a man.
• Never receive his phone calls, nor be available when he wants you to be after the first few dates. But don’t repeat this often as this may end your relationship.
• Don’t prolong the dates when dating men. Keep it brief to maintain the charm of the relationship, so that he may be more interested in you.
• In dating, it is on him to pay the bill.
• Be compassionate and show interest in him if you want to continue the relationship.
• Most important among dating tips for women; regarding previous dates, or past relationships, avoid mentioning them. This may create irritation in him if he is a sensitive person.
• Don’t show a desperate nature in dating, as men like women who appear hard to get.
• Always keep your man waiting as this will increase bonding.
• Don’t be eager to rush into a sexual relationship. Make him prove his love for you before you get intimate.